I think I'm not being unreasonable, but I'm a bit angry, so I'm not sure. MacMillan coffee morning

[Fiendishlie]

A neighbour knocked on my door collecting items for a tombola at the MacMillan coffee morning thing her group is having at the village hall on Friday. I tell her I'll bring something over later and, as I'm not working on Friday, I will come to the coffee morning.
She looks uncomfortable and tells me that the coffee morning is for members of the group only and I can't come.
I was completely blindsided and rendered speechless; all I managed to do was close the door on her.

This isn't on, is it?

How well do you know her? In all honesty, that sounds like a scam to me, sorry. She's pretending to be collecting stuff, but you can't come to the actual event?

Good thought LRD.

She is asking for items for a charity tombola though - maybe she just thought people would want to donate to help raise money. I don;t think she thought it through very well but maybe it was that, rather than down right rudeness.

I am a bit over-suspicious about scams, but it's better to consider it than to be caught.

She's scamming. She's looking for stuff to put on ebay.

Surely the more people coming the more money is raised as more people are buying tickets?

My friend is hosting one in her lounge and she would never tell someone (i.e. one of my neighbous) away.

Goes against the whole spirit of the thing.

I'm not doing anything next Friday morning can I come? I'll even bring 8 week old DS. (only trouble is we live in the midlands so a bit of a trek really)

YANBU at all - i think you should turn up anyway and gush about how you've been looking forward to it all week

No, it's not listed on the link, Hecate.

Well if it is truly private - that is very weird to ask members if the public for prizes It's like knocking on the door f a beughbour and asking them to make the pudding for a dinner party that their not invited tonb

You can have 'private' ones though - we have them at work- some of us make cakes and sell slices to our colleagues.

mrsRajesh

I would contact Macmillan as this is either a scam or very poor fundraising/ PR for a very good charity. I cannot imagine they would be supporting private events which take donations from 'excluded' parties! As someone else said- this would maybe seem reasonable if it was a private 'group' event and they were requesting donations from local business.. not individuals though!

Another one here for reporting to MacMillan. By not going to the event you won't be able to see if your donation actually appears as a prize.

Contacting MacMillan sounds like a massive waste of time to me.

They don't support the event, the event supports them. As long as the funds raised actually go to them they won't care if the organiser was a bit pushy in trying to get donations.

So you're good enough to give them something as a prize, but not good enough to attend?

I agree, sounds like a scam. I would contact MacMillan.

I would report it if I didn't know the person knocking at my door. But the OP says its a neighbour - just sounds like a misguided idea they had.

As long as the funds raised actually go to them they won't care if the organiser was a bit pushy in trying to get donations.
That's the point. There is a suspicion that they are not getting the donations which attract the funds.

If you are worried, phone the preschool and check they are having a coffee morning. There is no need to contact the charity

It's not suprising you feel left out and cross but it's most likely your friend was rather crass and didn't think through asking you for a donation when you couldn't attend

Hope you find a coffee morning you can attend

She's a neighbour, I don't even know her name, though she knows mine. I think she has taken parcels in for me a couple of times with my name on. She is at home all day, I have never had to return the favour. She seemed to be visiting all of the houses and was putting 'donations' into a shopping trolley thing (those tartan ones, not a tesco trolley!)

I called the woman who runs the pre-school, it's the same woman as when my DS was last there, 13 years ago. Friday is a normal day, no coffee morning planned.
Don't know what to do, it's a small village.

sounds even more fishy now! wierd! Would she really be selling bottles of cheap wine on ebay - what were the neighbours giving her? surely nothing that great?

Oh dear, what a difficult situation for you op. I would not be able to let it go now, perhaps call round and ask her about it? Then police if it appears to be a scam?

How rude of her. That coffee morning is totally missing the point, the idea is to raise as much money as possible encouraging people to come. I would have said well than sorry I don't have anything and cosr the door

Is this the "world's biggest coffee morning"? In addition to being spectacularly rude she seems to be spectacularly missing the point...

Oh right just read your update. I am smelling a big dirty rat and would contact
Olive for advice

Meant police not olive