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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think that if you give your child a name that more commonly belongs to the opposite sex, or name your child after a vegetable...

244 replies

Jacksmania · 23/09/2012 00:37

... then you shouldn't be all that surprised to get comments from people?

Disclaimer: I absolutely believe that anyone should be allowed to name their child whatever they like, as long as it's not obviously offensive. I mean, "Fuckface" or whatever is obviously out :o

I'm asking this because I've found myself in two separate situations this week where I ended up thinking, "well, come on..." but then wondered what the MN Jury would think.

Will try to be as brief as possible:

1 - acquaintance was registering her DD for ballet lessons. Her DD is named something most commonly male.
Acquaintance to ballet school: "I'd like to register my DD "male name" for ballet class Tuesday nights at x time."
Ballet school: "I'm sorry but boys' ballet classes are Wednesdays at x time".
Acquaintance: "as I said, I'd like to register my daughter "male name" for ballet at x time"
Ballet school: "your daughter "male name"?..."
Acquaintance: (seething) "yes my daughter "male name""
Ballet school: "..."

Acquaintance hangs up and starts ranting about idiocy of school who can't grasp that "male name" might be a girl. I listen but then stupidly say "well, you have to admit, it's not usually ever that I've heard of a girl's name".
Acquaintance: AngryAngryAngry at me.

2 - friend makes reference to her teenage son whose name is in fact that of a leafy green vegetable. Person who can be a bit of a knobber in surrounding group overhears and in a sneering tone says to friend "did you say "x" was your teenager's name??"
Friend says yes. Knobber person says "you are aware that "teenager's name" is in fact a green leafy vegetable??" Friend (obviously irritated) says "yes". Knobber walks off smirking.

Friend is upset with Knobber, as was I because really he didn't need to be quite that knobbish about it... and I've obviously learned my lesson because I didn't say anything this time, but thought to myself, "well, he does have a point".

So - AIBU to think that you should probably expect comments all your child's life if you name them after a leafy green, or give a girl a boy's name or vice versa? I do understand it gets tiresome, but, well...
And want to add that I in no way condone rudeness!!! I think it should be possible to ask or comment without being horrible.

OP posts:
littletreesmum · 23/09/2012 01:49

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MamaMimi · 23/09/2012 01:50

I also know an older boy called Reid Moomins

MamaMimi · 23/09/2012 01:53

We considered Rowan for dd2 but were put off by it being more common as a boys name. Still like it for a girl tho'.

IHeartKingThistle · 23/09/2012 01:54

Oh God I knew it was going to be Elliot. I TOLD DH this would happen!

Moominsarescary · 23/09/2012 01:54

I may post on mn nearer the time to see what opinions are on Reid, not sure though. baby name threads can be harse

Moominsarescary · 23/09/2012 01:56

Harsh even!

Jacksmania · 23/09/2012 02:02

Yes they can. :o

However, I think a lot of it depends on how you phrase the OP.
"I'm thinking "outlandish name" for DC. Am I being a twat?"
"Yes, you are."
"Yes."
"Yes, you're a twat."
OP: boo hoooooo, you're being mean about my favourite outlandish name.

Not good :o

On the other hand:
"Help me find a baby name. I'm considering "outlandish name", but also "more normal name". What do you all think?"

OP: thanks all, I think we'll name him "this".
Or, OP: hmmm, lots to think about. Thanks for all suggestions!

Much better.

OP posts:
MamaMimi · 23/09/2012 02:14

I think Reid is fine, also like Leif.

But then I wanted to call dd Grover had she been a boy!

sashh · 23/09/2012 02:20

Lettice used to be a quite acceptable name for a girl.

I was thingking Brocolli for the teenager, I can just see a Brocolli storming into his room and slamming the door.

Triffiddealer · 23/09/2012 02:22

Triffid, the Kale in question is actually dark and handsome with longish sweeping hair! V v good-looking young man.

See - the power of baby names. If all parents name their newborn infant sons Kale from now on, we will be swimming in a sea of Mills and Boon style heroes in 20 years time (I won't be as will be too old).

Am disappointed the boy/girl name was Elliot (even though I love Scrubs). Something like Gary/Trevor/Timothy would have been much better.

CaliforniaLeaving · 23/09/2012 02:22

I used to work with a woman called Gary, she was older than me she should be a Grandmother easily by now. I thought it was a very odd name to give a girl. Then what made it funnier, she started Dating this guy called.... you guessed it....Gary!

Moominsarescary · 23/09/2012 02:27

Dp likes Sonny, I always think of Sonnys as happy easy going children, what if he's a right grumpy child

SinisterBuggyMonth · 23/09/2012 02:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jacksmania · 23/09/2012 02:35

Mercedes is a lovely name but only if you live in Spain or Portugal :)

Chelsea - not so much, in whatever country. And Courgette - just... no.

OP posts:
Jacksmania · 23/09/2012 02:36

PMSL @ Gary dating Gary :o

OP posts:
Moominsarescary · 23/09/2012 02:42

There was a thread recently about the name Mercedes, I thought it would get slated but everyone loved it

Aspiemum2 · 23/09/2012 02:57

ConfusedElliot and Kale are both perfectly fine names IMO. At least they haven't called them Apple or princess shitzu crabapple (or whatever daft name it was)

monsterchild · 23/09/2012 03:49

Sinister it is, and you can call her brother Zucchini!

Zara1984 · 23/09/2012 04:20

Elliot? Nah sorry but that is like Beverly/Vivian for a boy. They should shorten it to Ellie in every day use to avoid the confusion - I imagine the poor girl will end up doing that at school!

Kale makes me Grin I can see what the parents were going for but it really is silly to name you kid after a vegetable!!!

I was hoping the boy's name would be Coriander Grin it's a long-standing joke of DH and mine's that it's a perfect luvvie name for a boy. "Coriandeeeer!! Darling, put that DOWN and tell mummy if you want proschuttio or Parma ham from the deli. NO we have to pay before you can have a crostini.... Oh all right go on then..." Grin

YANBU

In Ireland lots of men who were born in late 70s (to coincide with Pope's visit there) are called John, Paul or John-Paul. An acquaintance's brother really got the short end of the stick, his name is Karol (ie Pope's real name) Shock

Thumbwitch · 23/09/2012 05:01

I'm pretty sure that Mercedes was a name before it was a car - didn't Herr Benz name it after his daughter? (Or whoever it was who built the first one)

DS has a Chelsea in his dance class. And Summer, Destiny, Ebony and so on... but then this is Australia. His dance class assistant is called Miss Sharnay - we're not sure if the parents were going for Chardonnay but thought the don was silent, of if they just didn't know how to spell it. I have to be verrrrreeeee careful what I say in RL about names around these 'ere parts...

TheUnsinkableTitanic · 23/09/2012 05:48

Jacksmania, are you in NI

you've just described the Kale that i know

very good looking young man :)

tethersend · 23/09/2012 05:59

I called DD2 Shirley after Big Daddy.

Alligatorpie · 23/09/2012 06:20

I know this thread has moved on, but I like traditionally male names for girls, both dd's have names that are more common for boys ( although one is shortened from a more feminine name). I expect people will ask...is she a girl? ( about the baby) and people always repeat both names back to me after they hear what they are. I haven't been pissed off about it yet, but I am sure the time will come!

And I love Elliot for a girl, and Kale. So much better than names that repeatedly hit the top 10 year after year!

Jacksmania · 23/09/2012 06:43

Titanic, no - West Coast of Canada :)

OP posts:
JockSprockPooPongMcPlop · 23/09/2012 06:59

In Ireland (well, Cork, probably not all of Ireland), Florence is a boys name.