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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a little cross that a friend sold the phone I gave her?

45 replies

ThePieWhoLovedMe · 22/09/2012 11:53

or is it a case of ...I gave it to her so she can do what she likes with it ??

Had my upgrade... Friend was saying how she needed a new phone but was skint. I really wanted to help her out so I offered her my old mobile (Smart phone, only 18 months old - going for £150-£200 on Ebay). She sold the phone and brought a cheap Tesco's one.

AIBU?

OP posts:
BeaWheesht · 22/09/2012 11:55

Yadnbu

JarethTheGoblinKing · 22/09/2012 11:55

YANBU. cowbag.

WelshMaenad · 22/09/2012 11:55

Ungrateful, and a bit skanky. YANBU.

KellyMarieTunstall · 22/09/2012 11:55

Shock Just Shock

Angelico · 22/09/2012 11:56

YANBU. What is it with all these mad entitled 'friends' profiteering from the kindness of others?! Confused Very grateful I don't have any 'friends' like this!

manticlimactic · 22/09/2012 11:56

Ask for the money.

lljkk · 22/09/2012 11:57

yabu. Wasn't really a gift, was it?
I don't expect to control what happens to my gifts.

picnicbasketcase · 22/09/2012 11:59

I really don't get how people can possibly think its okay to be given something valuable, that could have been sold by the giver, and profit from it. You gave it to her to use, not to sell on.

Original poster
ThePieWhoLovedMe · 22/09/2012 11:59

Well exactly lljkk - That is why I was wondering if I was being UR. But - I wanted to be kind - not taken for a ride.

OP posts:
trixymalixy · 22/09/2012 12:00

Wow, yanbu!!

nokidshere · 22/09/2012 12:01

I don't know - maybe she was so skint that the money for the phone was really needed?

I might feel a tad miffed but really if you gave it to her its then hers to do what she likes with.

akaemmafrost · 22/09/2012 12:05

Well it was a gift so you can't really say anything about it to her and you can obviously afford it. BUT I would I reserve the right to have a moan about it and secretly be a bit pissed off.

lljkk · 22/09/2012 12:06

Do you think she was trying to manipulate you into feeling sorry for her, hoping that you'd then give her the phone for her to sell on at her pleasure? That would be scummy, I suppose I forget people like that are out there.

Original poster
ThePieWhoLovedMe · 22/09/2012 12:07

Yes I could afford it but I am not sure that is the point. But yes you are right I did give it to her.

OP posts:
dysfunctionalme · 22/09/2012 12:08

I think it's understandable that you are surprised that she sold your nice posh phone and bought a cheap one with the proceeds (or at least so we are informed) but really, once you give it's not yours to be miffed about. People are annoyingly ungrateful in the way they reject our offerings and offcuts aren't they.

Original poster
ThePieWhoLovedMe · 22/09/2012 12:10

She really is a good friend and not (usually) scummy in any way - I know to sell the phone she must be really skint but that doesn't stop me feeling a little miffed.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 22/09/2012 12:12

It would be the end of the friendship for me I'm afraid. Horrible, mean, selfish, woman. I don't subscribe to the theory that she was given it and it was hers to do what she liked with. I would be furious unless I was a Euro millions winner and she was penniless.

Seenenoughtoknow · 22/09/2012 12:13

Yanbu - You were helping your friend out, and your kindness was abused. If she didn't want (or struggled to use) that specific phone, she could have given you the difference in the price from the phone she sold...that would at least have been a gracious way of saying thank you and acknowledging your generosity.

Thumbwitch · 22/09/2012 12:13

I can see why you're miffed, tbh. But perhaps if she really is that skint, then you can look at it as you helping a mate out in times of hardship? Feel a bit altruistic about it rather than miffed?

After all, she did use some of the money to get a new phone. And it was a gift. But I do sympathise.

CSIJanner · 22/09/2012 12:14

YADNBU -yes, you gave it to her. But the least she could have done is checked with you before selling it. How irritating!

lljkk · 22/09/2012 12:15

I can totally understand it if she is that skint.
Thumbwitch is right, it'd be different if she sold it & then blew all the profit on fags & booze.

dysfunctionalme · 22/09/2012 12:16

No of course you feel miffed. I would be the same. And your feelings are valid.

I think try to have some distance and see, in time, whether you feel like having more contact with her.

I think if I'd had a lovely friend like you who'd given me a posh phone, and come to think of it I did get given a v flash phone by a friend, it would never occur to me to dispose of it without at least having the courtesy to let the friend know and just be clear about it.

GoldShip · 22/09/2012 12:17

She's a bitch.

She's made a profit from your kindness.

madeupmummy2012 · 22/09/2012 12:18

Maybe she struggled to use it and didnt want to say anything.

BlackberryIce · 22/09/2012 12:20

How did you find out and what did she actually say to you?

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