Aibu to ask how catholic a catholic primary school is?

[mollysmum82]

Dh is very much an athiest, to the point where he finds religious ceremonies and talking about religion quite uncomfortable. I'm catholic and whereas I'd love my children to find the comfort I've found in faith, I would be happy for them to find this comfort in any religion/non religion.

The catholic schools near us have great reports, results and reputations and dh would like our kids to attend one on that basis. I like the idea of them being taught the Christian morals and that everyone is special to God. But I always want them to be able to question anything and would find it inappropriate if they were taught about hellfire and brimstone and if there was any homophobic undertones in any of the teaching. And how hard would it be for an athiest dh to stomach the ethos for the foreseeable future?

Gah too soon! Sorry

I went through Catholic education and there was very little discussion of sex, homosexuality, marriage, anything like that. There was sex in the biological sense but not 'this is right, this is wrong' and certainly never any indication that condoms were wrong. It was deemed to be a matter for parents to educate their kid about. Parental learning and discussion I catholic teachings was very much encourage.

My sister now teaches in a catholic primary an they have morning and evening prayers and grace before and after meals. Discussion of religion tends to be things like 'what are we thankful to God for today' and things I that ilk. Fire, brimstone and creationism are not really Catholic teachings.

I think the worry for you is your husband. Even if he agrees to send them now, is it going to cause future problems? Im thinking things like school leaver's mass and that sort of thing. Would he go, or would he choose to miss it as he felt uncomfortable?

I went to a catholic secondary from 1993-1998 (age 11-16) and we weren't given any information on contraception at all. We were shown a graphic video of an abortion though.

Was about to answer but TuesdayNightClub had said what I was going to say!

On the subject of creationism,y DSs have come home from secular state primary telling me about that story. My own Catholic education stressed the importance of the NT and how much of the IT was not to be taken literally but should be read bearing in mind the context of when it was written. I have only met crazy overt creationists at a local CofE toddler group, one if the few places I have ever felt genuinely uncomfortable

Oh, and at Catholic school 1982-1988 definitely taught about sex and condoms although can't remember chemical contraception being mentioned other-than-by-girls-that-were-on-the-pill-in-the-sixth-form

Thanks everyone, this has been so useful and quite a relief actually. It definitely sounds like something I would be happy with and I think if dcs are getting a good education then dh would cope too. I think he'd be happy to come to any services that dcs were 'performing' in but would there be any expectation for him to attend regular mass? Cheers again

I like the idea of them being taught the Christian morals and that everyone is special to God.
How's that going to happen when it's a catholic school - aka not a christian one?

How would your dh feel about the dc loudly singing hymns as they went round the supermarket? (to the horror amusement of other shoppers)

Just wondering...

Are you both planning on your DCs taking the sacraments and becoming fully practising Catholics? Because that is a massive part of the teaching (i really dont remember learining anything else in Primary 3 and 6) and as parents you are expected to fully support this, participate in instruction and attend the masses.

I have to say, as a non practicing RC, if you don't want to buy the melon, what are you doing at the greengrocers... I find the idea of sending DCs to a school where the family don't share the school's ethos very strange...

As an atheist there is no way I'd send the kid to a Catholic school. Or any religious school for that matter.

I think your DH needs to go to the school and see what he thinks. Religious schools do have a tendency to present beliefs in a way that might make them seem like they were facts.

Secretly I'd love to train a group of kids up to ask all the difficult questions and unleash them on an unsuspecting religious school though :)

Thanks again everyone.

Giveitago, catholicism is a branch of Christianity.

Re the sacraments I wouldn't mind them doing them (I an a practising catholic) as long as they themselves wanted to. Is there a lot of pressure to do that? Being a fully practising catholic is something I'd want dcs to decide on which might come later in adulthood, not be pressured into now when they don't fully understand them. Gosh this is hard.

Hymns thing made me laugh, I have been known to hum the oil in my lamp song in sainsburys lol!

DD1 has just started reception in a Cathoic school. She spent the first week, after school walking round Sainsburys crossing herself and reciting the three new prayers she'd been taught, on a loop. I had to shout at her, enough with the praying, sing Mama Mia! (her previous fave) :o

In Scotland every school catchment area has one Catholic and one non denominational school.
DH was Catholic, our DCs were baptised and attended the local RC school.
As it was a good school, very popular, we had to prove we agreed with the "ethos" of the school, basically a letter saying that, though baptism helped. There were non catholics in their classes too who could opt out of Mass attendance

Our DCs got most of their sex education, discussion about sexual orientation and contraception and non catholic religious education at home.

btw none of my DC attend mass now

It really must depend on the school. I went to Catholic primary school and it was quite Catholic I guess, but I loved it and looking back there was a very good balance. \We did a variety of musicals for xmas production, not just nativity, and learnt loads of stuff in addition to the catholic stuff. There certainly was no fire and brimstone stuff. Everyone there was very normal. I also remember having quite detailed sex education in year 6, they even talked about the clitoris, shock horror!

The only negative thing I think is that I ended up thinking that everyone in the country was catholic. I went to a state comprehensive seco0ndary and I remember quite early in year 7 asking a girl what religion she was. She replied atheist and when she explained what that meant I was like However, I think that was immatuiry more than anything and obviously grew up to realise that not everyone is the same!

My brother had the full catholic primary/secondary education and he is totally normal!

We are now having this dilemma as we have a DS and I would quite like to send him to the local catholic school, mainly because it is the nicest in the town, but DH is atheist and isnt sure. I dont know that much about the school, but a look on the website seems to suggest that they provide a large range of learning experiences and its not just all about god.

I'm talking about my own experiences (so a few years ago) where everyone in a Catholic school was Catholic IYSWIM. So everyone took the sacraments, in the same way that everyone takes music and goes to gym - it was part of the bones of the school, that they were bringing up fully practising, fully operational Catholics. It wasn't 'pressure' so much as just part of the experience. I would no more have thought of not taking part than I would fly in the air.

I suppose things must be different now as there are non-RCs in RC schools so I guess they do something else in sacrament preparation. But again, I keep coming back to the point of why attend a Catholic school if you/DCs don't want to participate fully in Catholicism? You don't get to opt out of Maths or Science - do you see what I mean?

Following 12 years at Catholic primary and secondary school (same for DH) I'd say IMO there's nothing like a full-on Catholic education to turn you into a heathen (if not a practicing Satanist!)

I am RC, DH is aethiest. DCs attend RC school. Loads of parents at school not married, makes no difference, if the children are baptised Catholic they are considered for a place- they are not judged on parents situation.

My DH is ok about RC education. He knows it is important to me as I am committed to my faith. We did make a deal that I would not force him to attend church events. He goes to school nativity because our kids are taking part- he is not interested in the christian story aspect of it. But a lot of non faith schools perform the nativity also so chances are he would be watching a nativity even if they had not gone to a faith school.

I attend all the school religious functions ie. school mass. DH is at work anyway so issue of him attending never came up. I take the children to mass on sundays- they actually like going as the church is very linked to the school and they see their friends there, they know the priest as he is often up at school and for them it is a very supportive and warm community. (For me also, one of the things I really enjoy about church- sense of community is brilliant)

The only time it was a problem for my DH was when my dd made her First Holy Communion. As you are RC OP you know that this is a special occasion in the church, my dd wanted DH to go but he was v. uncomfortable with it. He did go in the end because she asked him so nicely he could not say no. It was not through choice though and he was completely bemused during the service and did not really have a clue what was going on.

I guess you need to discuss this with your DH, could he tolerate attending certain services for the sake of the children? Would he be happy to just turn a blind eye to the children being taught something he does not believe in? Do you want the children to be educated in the faith enough to support them when he can't or won't? For me it was easy as a Catholic I could not contemplate my own children being a different religion to me. But you do not seem too fussed one way or the other so it may be a different decision.

BTW- my dc now in yr6, they have not been taught anything about sex education, contraception, creation , hell & damnation. But they have learned about love, respect, sharing, forgiveness (and evolution)

My Dses go to a Catholic school. The focus is, obviously, on the catholic teachings but they also talk about other religions. Eg, last year, ds1 learnt about how Jews observe the Sabbath, he's learnt about Diwali and Ramadan and what those festivals mean to other people. He says that there's only one God, but he's got lots of different names & has lots of different parties .

But I agree that if you're not going to commit fully then I wonder why you would want them to attend the school? In our school, it's expected that all children will take their first confession and communion.

I would also double check the mass attendance. I'd be surprised if it only goes on baptism - ime, all schools insist on regular mass attendance (at least 3 out of 4).

Have you been to see the school? If you are seriously considering it, it's worth going and having a look and asking about their expectations etc.

My DS is now in week 3 of Reception at the Catholic primary and it is, (as expected) very, very Catholic. He comes home singing hymns, saying prayers, the whole lot.

We are a practicing Catholic family and both myself and DH are the products of Catholic education, so we are pleased so far.

But I cannot understand why anyone who isn't religious would want that for their child, to be honest.

My DP is RC, I am not, our DC go to a RC primary school. dP takes them to mass once a month sometimes two (he refuses to take them every week like he was made to do).

There's not that much religion, they say prayers every morning, have monthly masses and will do their sacraments.

Oh and our Priest knows we are not married, he still baptised the DC and I have been involved in quite a few church events.

My children love the Catholic school that they go to. Do not know if it makes a difference that it is independent but they do pray several times a day, quite a lot of the teaching comes back round to God, they go to mass etc.

My dd 3 (nursery) was naming her toy animals the other day and the horse was called "The Holy Spirit"!

I am happy to go with the flow as they are very happy, the school has amazing pastoral care, great sporting and adcademic results and my DC seem to have found comfort in faith following a family bereavement. If they decide they do not believe that is fine with the school as long as they are respectful of Catholicism.

Simple I am loving that horse's name

DS1 went to a Catholic school and says he is still an Atheist

DS2 goes to the same school, its very friendly and yes I would of thought there is a higher level of religion than his alloted school and as far as I'm aware no-one at school has ever known I was a single parent when I signed DS up or that his parents are bi-sexual