Aibu to ask how catholic a catholic primary school is?

[mollysmum82]

Dh is very much an athiest, to the point where he finds religious ceremonies and talking about religion quite uncomfortable. I'm catholic and whereas I'd love my children to find the comfort I've found in faith, I would be happy for them to find this comfort in any religion/non religion.

The catholic schools near us have great reports, results and reputations and dh would like our kids to attend one on that basis. I like the idea of them being taught the Christian morals and that everyone is special to God. But I always want them to be able to question anything and would find it inappropriate if they were taught about hellfire and brimstone and if there was any homophobic undertones in any of the teaching. And how hard would it be for an athiest dh to stomach the ethos for the foreseeable future?

That's what they did when I was at school AZZ (frame it I mean)

We learnt about the pill and other various forms of contraception during childcare lessons.

Then during RE we were told never to take it.

Bizarre worra.

Did you notice the differences at the time?

To be honest I don't really think I did.

The reason being, my own Mum was a very old fashioned Irish Catholic...as was most of the family and yet even she had a coil fitted after having 5 kids.

So I suppose it was generally accepted that people ignored the whole 'don't use contraception' rule.

Then during the 80's, there were adverts and health warnings about Aids all over the TV so teachers were actually advocating using condoms.

But again, the RE teachers weren't.

I don't think it's an unreasonable thing to ask. DH is catholic and we often attend church as a family (although I'm not catholic). Some churches are really liberal the last church had a genetics professor in to do a series of lectures on evolution. We moved and the new local church is the fox news version of Catholicism, "obamacare = dictatorship" and "lord protect us from the radical muslims"

I imagine schools could vary quite a lot too depending on head/ which order they are.

Worra I went to a Catholic secondary school in the mid-80s and we were taught about contraception then. I don't know of anybody from my school who was too frightened/guilty to use it. Not saying if doesn't happen, just not IME.

I hope my DCs will continue through primary, middle and secondary Catholic school system as they are the better schools in our area (pastoral and educational). Although the Catholic church as an institution is pretty hardline, the individual churches and schools I've attended have been far more accepting of people who don't conform to their rules.

MsV it might just have been because of the old fashioned views of their parents and the conflicting things being taught.

But I personally was too scared to go to the Docs to get the pill in case anyone found out.

Sorry OP, I've hijacked your thread with my little trip down memory lane

I don't think contraception is on the primary education curriculum, though, is it? They do sex ed, starting with flowers and pollination, then move on to human reproduction in Years 5 and 6 I think.

Well, the Catholic school I attended was quite Catholic (I believe it still is). There were Catholic statues and paintings (Virgin Mary, Jesus with a crown of thorns, etc) in every hallway and landing. Religion was taught solely from a Catholic point of view (no discussion of other religions). We had regular masses, had to participate in First Confession, First Communion and Confirmation (after First Confession and Communion, we were expected to participate in Confession and Communion at every school mass). We had daily assembly and sang hymns both at assembly and during religion class. We also started each morning and afternoon with making the sign of the cross. Sex education was a brief mention of periods, abortion was evil, and contraception was not really discussed (just to clarify, I am very pro-choice, the 'abortion, evil' pov is defo not mine).

My oldest is in year 6. He just managed to tell me "mum, I know everything about sex. When I get married, I will have to do it to make children. Ugh"

I'm sure you're right Fairenuff hence my apology

Quint are you sure he didn't pick that up from Mumsnet?

As for other religions, ds1 learnt about Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism and Christianity last year (Year 5). Ds2 learnt about Judaism, and judaism in relation to the war last year when he was in year 2.

This year they are going to visit other places of worship in a "come see" initiative.

Worry, he does try to read over my shoulders quite a bit!

Dcs school is about 70-80% catholic so all Catholics who apply get in regardless of mass attendance.

There is a Massive (really massive) our lady statue in the reception. All classrooms have alters, there are nuns around the place, lots of RE, weekly mass, daily assembly, daily angelus, all dcs are expected to know hail Mary, Our Father and Glory Be by the end of YR. They also go to town on other religions and do a lot about festivals and visit other places of worship so there is a danger that because of all this RE something must be getting pushed out of the curriculum. Lots of 1st communion prep in Y3. Extra assemblies during Advent and Lent. There is one openly gay teacher (out of 8 inc head) and one openly gay TA. Haven't noticed any homophobic undertones and they do have some gay friendly books (Hello Sailor, Tango makes 3) lower down the school, not sure about higher up. They don't teach creationism, perhaps not surprisingly as Darwinian evolution has been standard Catholic teaching for years (like 100 years or something, not 10 years). I think that there is quite a lot of variation. You could choose a community school run by a homophobic creationist. Best to visit really.

When I say 'they don't teach creationism' I don't mean they don't teach genesis, obviously they do but they don't teach it as a literal truth. Catholics aren't literalists doctrinally although individual Catholics could technically be creationists. Conscience first, and the the Pope and all that.

The Catholic primary school that my sisters kids attend is very Catholic. Loads of RE teaching going on, priest in regularly, twice termly presentations to parents where the priest comes and the DC's talk about how much Jesus loves them and then they do a song etc, trips to church during school time, a weekly letter that has a 'catholic themed' wordsearch/crossword/colouring in on it, homework that is 'draw a picture of you and Jesus to show how we are all in God's family', prayers in the morning, before they eat and at the end of the day.

I'm athesist and it makes me feel sick, it's like they're being brainwashed.

One of my close friends is muslim and she went to a Catholic school and told me that apart from a prayer in assembley there was no other religious imput at all. Depends on the school I guess?!

One of my best friends is catholic and her dd has been schooled in the catholic system (and in Glasgow they found out early on it includes football lol).

Friend is happily broad minded and only has one dc through choice. Her dh isn't catholic.

Her dd is now almost 18, in final yr at school.

She knows all about (I checked- very interesting convo!!) Hinduism, Judaism, Jainism, Islam, Mormons, Shinto and every branch of Catholicism including liberation theology (which got priests excommunicated!!). She has never ever learned anything about the reformation, church of England, Protestantism at all. She came to church with us a couple of tomes (like when she'd stayed overnight when parents were elsewhere) and the first time it was a baptismal service (we attend a baptist church) and she ended up outraged - with her school and church! "why did no one tell me there were other kinds of Christians!!"

I think that's my biggest issue with the catholic schools - though I do admit my friend was also at fault for not explaining!

Catholic schools don't teach Creationism, they teach evolution, and hellfire and brimstone isn't really their bag either, that?s an evangelical Christian thing. Not all Catholic schools are the same in the same way not all non- denominational schools are the same. It depends on the staff within the schools.

But you say you're a Catholic, I'm assuming you didn't attend Catholic schools yourself?

A note tot he hijacked thread.

Worra I went to a Catholic secondary school in the mid-80s and we were taught about contraception then. I don't know of anybody from my school who was too frightened/guilty to use it. Not saying if doesn't happen, just not IME.

At my all girls RC secondary we were all herded into a room and given a very stern talking to by the priest at the start of 5th year. By the end of 5th year there were 16 pregnant teenagers.

OP

I like the idea of them being taught the Christian morals and that everyone is special to God.

But if they are not attending mass and not baptised then they will learn that some people are more special, and that group doesn't include them.

Thanks everyone. Yeah we'd be fine admissions wise, I attend mass but that isn't part of the criteria, kids just need to be baptised (which they are).

I don't mind the statues and quite like the idea of the calmness and reflection of morning prayers. I'd like that they'd have an opportunity to celebrate the festivals do. The bit I'm worried about is if they actually say 'if you don't go to mass every Sunday you go to hell' or 'if you're gay or use condoms you go to hell'. I just want to be able to chat to them about what mummy believes, what daddy believes and what others believe being equal, without fear of them being brainwashed or feeling any guilt.

• festivals too

Ps No I didn't actually go to a catholic school myself

Does your husband ever go to mass with you? How would he feel about attending special services the children may be taking part in - could he cope with that?

He's an athiest who wants his children to attend a school centered around religion because they get good results. Sounds like a bad idea to me.

it's extremely unlikely they will be told that mollysmum82!
I think you are not unreasonable to ask how Catholic the school is (I have worked in a few and they definitely vary) but I shouldn't ask the Head teacher or any staff there! If you're really worried, can you not just ask around some of the parents as to whether they are happy with it?
If you were married in the Catholic church then you would have promised to bring your children up in accordance with the teachings of the Church - which your DH would have had to agree to - it sounds more like an issue that you need to deal with with your DH and not thee school!

I think sending your kids to Catholic school per se is fine. I went thro