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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I get a gastric band?

111 replies

SlipperyNipple · 21/09/2012 20:01

OK I have not name changed so please be kind.....OK, OK wrong place for that.

I'm 5.6 and 16 stone 4 at the moment. This is post having two children in the last 3 years. I used to hover near 13 stone....so heavy but not this heavy. I don't have any obvious health issues other than I get achy knees now.

I would have to go private. We are reasonably financially comfortable. I could get the cash together but it we would feel it.

I think my husband is going to be a very tough to persuade round. He is very kind and wonderful but thinks I should do this with exercise, diet and willpower. He's never had to diet in his life so he doesn't understand how hopeless I feel about this.

I have been dieting since I was 15 years old and it never really got me anywhere. I would go up and down and always end up around 13 stone. Now I just can't seem to make any headway with a diet at all. I'm tired all the time (baby) and comfort eat.

I don't believe in diets any more. But I don't want to be this way. I can't do the things I want to do: shop in normal shops, run for bus without hurting my knees, ski, feel like a normal person.

OK I'll stop. You get the idea.

OP posts:
PunkInDublic · 21/09/2012 20:09

2 children in three years, I think you can be forgiven for being tired and carrying a few extra pounds.

Only you can make this decision, it's not your husbands choice or anyone elses. I wish you all the luck in the world, whatever you decide to do and I hope it makes you happy.

TidyGOLDDancer · 21/09/2012 20:12

A while ago, I thought about this.

I was somewhere near 19 stone at the time, so bigger than you are now, and a similar height.

I changed my lifestyle and my eating habits and reintroduced exercise. I am a healthy weight and am glad I did not resort to surgery to acheive that.

I'm not saying it's inherently wrong to get a gastric band, because for some people it is the only choice available and it can be a very positive thing. But IMO it's something that should be considered only once you have exhausted the other avenues.

johnthepong · 21/09/2012 20:12

I think people think gastric bands are the great "cure all" when in reality they have a high proportion of complications.

I am not a fan of gastric bands because of this, however I know how you feel, I had weight loss surgery 2 years ago, I had a sleeve gastrectomy which has a much better safety profile.

I would also say you really arent that huge though- its only a decision you can make.

SoleSource · 21/09/2012 20:12

Gastric balloon is better I believe. But if you really want a gastric band consider the brilliant Black American surgeon whom visits UK once per year in the summer. He has his own invention. He puts a ball inside the new stomach puch. This stops the stomach from ever streching as it will over time and letting tne patient eat bigger quantities. I believe this is the most successful op known.

I will Google and come back with details at some stage, cannot link. He does this via NHs.

All this is of course of you are accepted in the first place as you are not that heavy. BMI needs to be very high but there is the.option of sewing weights in clothes as advised on the weightlosssurgery forum.

GoldShip · 21/09/2012 20:13

Good to hear you'd have it done privately.

Aboutlastnight · 21/09/2012 20:13

Slippery - you could join us on the 5:2 thread - fasting for two days in seven, eating normally the rest of the time. Why not have a look?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 21/09/2012 20:14

I've had one - was about your size when i did it. pm me if you want

gordyslovesheep · 21/09/2012 20:15

YABU to not try other options first - try slimming world or WW and walk, swim, etc

GB surgery is dangerous, life changing not always in a good way) and a last resort x

shinybaubles · 21/09/2012 20:16

I am in a similar position, similar weight and a bit shorter. I could also afford the surgery, but have decided against it, personally and this is just my opinion for me it would feel like cheating, also I don't want to have to eat little portions etc, I have begun a whole lifestyle change, being more active and making the right food choices, etc it is slow I have begun with walking but hope to get to a running stage soon. It is long and slow this way but I also want to lead my kids by example in living a healthy lifestyle. It's not just about going on a diet if you see what I mean, I want to be healthy.

Toombs · 21/09/2012 20:16

All a gastric band will do is force you to eat less, your DH is right. Eat less and better and don't undergo risky surgery.

Glitterkitten24 · 21/09/2012 20:17

I'm overweight and just had a baby too, so understand where you are coming from with regards to being exhausted etc. but....

I don't think a gastric band is the miracle cure that your post suggests.
I'm no medical professional, but my understanding is that you need to completely change your diet, since if you continue eating the wrong foods, you can end up lacking in vitamins ect and actually being malnourished.

I'm not against the idea in principle but think you need to consider that it's not a 'quick fix' solution.

Good luck!

aldiwhore · 21/09/2012 20:18

I could so easily sound a complete wanker and say try Slimming World (and stay to group (or any number of similar clubs). I truly believe in SW... the group part is key. BUT like anything that makes a permanent change it takes commitment.

I don't disagree with Gastric Bands, but they also take commitment, carry risk and although they eliminate the ability to stuff your face they still require a change in lifestyle (though mostly enforced I suppose) to work.

Nothing worked for me for 38 years, well more like 30, I wasn't fat under 8 years old. I've now found what works for me but I have to give it 100% else I start putting weight back on. The community at group is the source of much strength and I've even found a job that allows me to still attend group as it means that much.

I don't believe in dieting, strangely. I believe in habit forming, and that takes time. I never used to exercise, hated it, but slowly I'm walking more, instead of meeting friends for coffee, I meet them after Zumba for coffee. I eat a lot. I have got the the stage where my old comfort food is not comforting, it makes me feel a bit ill.

This is personal though, and its a long haul, which is why I suspect it didn't work the first, second or third time around. We have a member in group who's been at target for 8 years but still needs group.

I would not blame you if you had a gastric band, though I absolutely believe if you find the right eating and exercise plan, and have the right fellowship, you could be who you wish to be without it. Good luck x

weeblueberry · 21/09/2012 20:18

What other options have you tried? A gastric band should be a final resort-please do consider other options first.

I've lost six stone with WW. I'm not saying that to be smarmy, just that its absolutely doable if you follow it rigidly and keep it up.

controlpantsandgladrags · 21/09/2012 20:19

Honest answer? No you shouldn't get a gastric band.

I empathise so much with your post and could have written most of it myself! I was 13st until I had my 2 dc. My heaviest was 17st 9 and I have lost 2 stone in the last 6 months by vaguely following slimming world.

It's been bloody hard and its so difficult to stay motivated but its got to be easier than surgery. Be kind to yourself and wait until your dc are a bit older and you're less tired...everything will seem more achievable Smile

MadameCastafiore · 21/09/2012 20:19

I'd get those meals delivered to your door and a personal trainer and change your life that way.

I wouldn't go through surgery with a GA, unless totally necessary and if you do it through diet and exercise you will seethe results and that will change your outlook. Whatever you choose it's going to be a lifelong commitment but a gastric band is a quick fix that doesn't always work and means you will never be able to eat normally again. Wouldn't you rather be fit, healthy and happy?

SCOTCHandWRY · 21/09/2012 20:20

I don't believe in diets any more. But I don't want to be this way.

You don't need a gastric band and all the risks that go with it. You don't need a diet either.

You need to change the way you eat. Can I suggest you give low carb a go, for a month or two before you think about this op again? You'll find excellent advice here on the "diet" threads, and plenty of info on the internet.

Many of us who struggle with "normal" diets (low fat, low protein), find switching to Low Carb (higher protein and fat) is very successful and sustainable in the long term - it's about changing the way you eat over the long term.

Go on, give it a go Grin

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 21/09/2012 20:22

A gastric band is a big operation, have you thoroughly researched it?

Even with a band you will still need to deal with the emotional/psychological stuff that has made you be overweight since your teenage years, and you still need willpower and determination.

Have you thought of trying hypnotherapy? It won't work for everyone, but I know one person who tried it as a last resort before going back to the NHS and asking to be reconsidered, and it worked.

Schnullerbacke · 21/09/2012 20:24

No, I wouldn't!

I am also 5'6, I was 17 stone in June and as of today I am 15 stone. I didnt say that to get praise but to show you that it can be done. How I did it? Sadly, the only way it ever works. Eating less and exercising more. I started off with online Weight Watchers to get a feel for things but have kind of stopped that now.

I believe what has made a real difference this time (and I have been on many diets before too) is me taking it easy. Before I always put pressure on myself - cannot eat this, cannot eat that, must exercise every day. Now I don't. I could have lost more weight until now but I was taking it slow.
I dont have a brilliant eating plan now, something I have to address. But I would have b/f, some lunch, chocolate, cake in afternoon. I no longer eat dinner and I tend to eat chocolate mornings / lunch so I can still burn it off.
Sports have made a big difference, I actually look forward to it now.

You can do it if you put your mind to.

Why I wouldnt have a bypass? Operations carry risks, you can still put the weight back on again, smaller stomach will decrease opportunity to absorb some vitamins / minerals further down the track and if you google you will find many stories of people regretting their decision of surgery because it didnt turn out the way they were hoping to.

You are not soooo overweight that it would be an impossible task, once you start you'll probably find that the first lot comes off very quickly, which is always inspiring.

Good luck. You can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NatashaBee · 21/09/2012 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Viviennemary · 21/09/2012 20:27

Well of course it's up to the individual. But I wouldn't even consider a gastric band at your weight and height. Yes it would be better if you weighed less. But I think gastric band should be an absolute last resort for really severely overweight people. I'd try a few other things first. The usual diet clubs. Rosemary Conely is meant to be really good but there isn't one near me or else I would try that one.

Mrsjay · 21/09/2012 20:28

My lovely friend got it a few years ago she was a lot heavier than you are I didnt actually know her weight but she was big, she was ill for 6 months after it she looks great and has lost loads , but she hasn't two young children to look after her child is an adult so she could recover, I don't think it is a quick fix

KnockKnockPenny · 21/09/2012 20:28

I know of 3 people who have had it done, none of them look thin (still all at least a size 16) even though they had it doen ages ago. 2 have had serious problems and have been in & out of hospital.

No way shoudl you have it.

Do youhave an iphone? there is a "virtual gastric band" app that is very successful though, encourages smaller portions of healthier food. There's a thread on it in here, plus a very supportive FB group where the app writers are always on hand to answer questions. Search for "james holmes" in the app store and it will come up.

MrsjREwing · 21/09/2012 20:30

I have one, you can pm me too.

featherbag · 21/09/2012 20:31

I'm the same height as you and was a pound heavier 6 months ago - I'm now down to 13st 13lbs, I'm doing WW and have started exercising. There's no reason to put yourself through major surgery when there are other options that work, why would you want to risk leaving your children motherless for the want of a bit of effort?!

GColdtimer · 21/09/2012 20:33

MadameC has a good idea. Why don't you spend some money on a personal trainer and maybe get diet meals delivered or join slimming world. Spending just a fraction of the money you would spend on surgery on a personal trainer and/or nutritionist would be a far better investment. A gastric band won 't stop your craving for food or change the desire to comfort eat. It
You just won't be able to physically eat the food you crave which I would imagine would be quite miserable. With the right support and throwing a big of money at it I bet you could do it. Good luck.