To reply to my new weed smoking text friend?

[TextFriend]

I have a new friend or rather my phone does.

My new friend likes to text my phone about his drug taking habits, or at least I think he does. My Phones friend is hard to understand.

Its been going on a few weeks and unfortunately he refuses to believe my phone doesn't want to receive his texts and doesn't know "wat da weed u ad on sat" or of it was "gud". I've text on my phones behalf saying you've got the wrong number but he seems to struggle as much with my text speak as I do with his. He replies with "Na bro was that your mum txt i no its u'.

So earlier he asked where my phone was.

I decided to reply with "Police station" Expecting them to realise my phone wouldn't have been arrested if it was still on or scare them into not replying to my phone again.

Then get a text from a new friend on a new number asking "wots happenin badman" and a missed call.

Should I reply? What with?

Reply in the same vein, only for 'weed' substitute 'naice ham'. See how long you can continue a conversation at complete cross purposes, and then post the transcript up here.

That sounded bossier than it was meant to

PMSL we need a full detailed transcript on here...

Your phone's new friend needs to take a chill pill maybe... or maybe more weed?

Shall I go with "stash has gone, the naice stuff"

I cannot do cool speak so forgive me but you could text back "that's so sick, ave a Pombear.".

Can't you block the number?

Bare 5-O bruv. That's my 'street' parlance exhausted,

What Jesus said.

And that may be the first time I've ever said that!

Folkgirl but that wouldn't be fun.

Lol... I've had a few 'who is this' texts over the years. They seem to get very irritated at the response 'you're texting me, surely you know? Who the fuck are you?' and over been called some choice names.

Nothing as amusing as your phone's new pal though.

Text 'soz mate pigs wuldnt bail me less I gave em names on my way to spain you should do same'

text "stash has gone, the naice stuff"

Reply "wot na bro dats bad"

Shall reply with "soz mate pigs wuldnt bail me less I gave em names on my way to quick where are pombears made you should do same

Jesus Ah yes, fun. That bit had bypassed me

'Soz man, the cops are BvvvU'

"Aww no bruv do u have a sling?"

I am no good at street talk, I'm not sure whether 'sick' is a good or bad thing anymore.

But I am enjoying chortling at this thread so thanks for that.

just also text the first number asking 'wer u'

Why don't you post their numbers on this thread and we can all text them with offers of 'weed'!

First number has replied with "Nay your nose do u whant some weed" so I think he wants my phone to get high again, does he not realise what the munchies do to a smartphone.

I can PM you the numbers if you want to be my "bro" TheGoldenKnid my phone and I are stuck at the police station but you could take them up of the offer of some weed.

Um, I think I'd rather not. My phone is of a delicate constitution and might not recover from receiving such awful text language.

'Nay your nose'? What on earth does that mean?

And surely he should write 'ur'. Kids just don't know their 'street' dese dayz.

what Jesus said!

Think he may have been saying, Hey you know. But unfortunately my knowledge of cool 'spk' is limited to what they have previously text my phone.

I love this thread

I have some weed to shift, there's some dandelions in my window box.
See if they like them, if not they're going to be the rabbits snack.