Having a baby to get a council house

[Tryingtobenice]

I've always thought this was nonesense and the sort of thing spouted by men of a certain age and type but since becoming a mum I've realised what utter utter bollocks it is.

Having a baby is so much harder work than work. Certainly than sitting on your arse in an office (like me) and even standing for hours on end in a shop or behind a bar (always found this much harder than office work!).

It makes me feel real contempt for anyone trotting out the line that girls have babies to get a house. Especially if they have a child themselves.

Also gives me new found respect for the teen mums I know. I may not respect their lacklustre approach to contraception ( this comment is person specific, I know genuine accidents happen all too easily) but boy do I respect the way they've handled the result. I'm too selfish to parent well in my thirties, at 15 I would have been a disaster.

Given that so many people have done the newborn baby thing how on earth can such prejudice survive? Teen mums (and dads) need awards not vilification.

And the baby never pats me on the back at the end of the day and says 'thanks,great job , really had a fan day!'

Because fishwife it was possible several years ago and is still possible in some areas.

Not all areas are in the same position regarding social housing.

And, as I said before, the reality is irrelevant and people only find out the reality when they are in the position of making the housing application. I was in the unfortunate position of being homeless and a lone parent 13 years ago. (It wasn't why I did it though!) I was offered 2 council properties and a HA flat in the space of 2 months. I accepted the HA flat.

Just because you know that it isn't an option in your area, doesn't mean that everyone does and if Sam gets told by her mate that she'll be ok and get a flat because her older sister's best mate did... then some girls/boys/teens/people do believe this. People talk themselves into believing all sorts of nonsense if they want it to be true enough.

Anyone who doesn't believe it can happen is just judging everyone else by their own standards. Not everyone is sensible, plans or thinks things through. And for some people, they believe they have thought it through and this was the conclusion they reached.

OneMoreChap Ah but were you pooing at the time?! Point taken though!

FolkGirl

I live in london and i know that here at least its not going to happen if you have a baby its most likey bedsit land you wont even get a dodgy flat in some god for saken estate i dont know about the rest of the uk but i am speaking from a london view

But even in london i do think people do this and get a rude awakeing

That fact the people do it is not in question but in london at least you wont be housed in a flat just because you have a baby

TryingToBeNice, the beauty of being a stay at home Mum is that if you find your days are repetitive and boring, you can do whatever you like to change that situation! Personally I found work repetitive and boring, but I was stuck with that, day after day, week after week, year after year because we needed the money. But, like I said, I've had easy babies - they go everywhere with me and, as long as I feed and change them when they need it, they aren't demanding at all.

I agree with the rude awakening.

Just because people do it for that reason, doesn't mean they will get what they want.

I know two people that live in East London who were housed just because they had a baby actually. One of them fell pregnant accidentally and could have been absolutely fine staying at her Mums council house with the baby. The other openly admits she did it on purpose because she was ready to leave home and wanted a baby at some point anyway. She was given a two bed house with a garden. Her oldest child has just started school and she has just had her second. So she can spend as long as possible on IS basically. I'm fairly certain that another one will be along in 4-5 years time.

The vast majority of people in some areas have a baby to get somewhere to live. They are small areas, but they do exist. Things might be changing now the housing is running out, but it is very naive to think that people don't deliberately get pregnant so they can live on benefits in a free and secure property. They do it all the time.

There just aren't the houses available nowadays for this to be true. I live in a fairly rural area but a mum and dad with two boys and a girl are stuck in a two bedroom flat far too small for them. They have little hope of getting a bigger place. I was lucky that I got my three bedroom house 14 years ago, when the situation was not as bad.

IME most teen girls have a baby because either:

1. They get pregnant and can't deal with it and just hope the problem will go away
2. They feel they need something to love
3. Being a Mum is their only ambition - they don't see their life going anywhere anyway, so why wait.

In my area, they don't get a house. They get a room in a shared house in a not very nice area.

Babies are easy peasy to look after in both my experiences. Sn toddlers not so much!

I work in LA housing and it's grim. Thousands of applicants for few houses in questionable areas. I bet none of the people denigrating young girls for getting pregnant for council houses would actually want to live in one themselves.

I am a relatively young mother (27) and until I had children I admit I looked down on girls from my year at school who got pregnant too young. Now I can appreciate how truly shit some of their lives must have been and I actually admire them for pulling through it and holding things together. Motherhood is sometimes difficult for me at this age with a husband, a house and no money worries so I can't imagine what it must be like for a homeless teenager, possibly on her own.

It's so wrong that a council house is something for certain groups of people to aspire to. We need to work on the reasons ambition is dead in the water for some youngsters.

It was certainly common practice at the school I attended! Granted that's 20 odd years ago now. It came up in conversation fairly regularly as a post gcse career choice. Can't say I blamed some of the girls, given the appalling home life I witnessed for some of my friends, having a baby and moving out into their own home must have seemed like nirvana.
Also common even today where I live, is women commenting quite openly at the school gates that income support would be stopping soon and best "crack on" weeks later announcing their new pregnancy.
Not judging anyone, just saying that where I live it was a fact.

I've seen countless girls wandering into the Health Centres where I worked (that had Brooke Advisory Clinics) laughing with their mates and asking for the Morning After Pill.
Huge joke to some of them. Some were . Some I'm sure didn't think it would happen to them.

Or the 'Band Aid Babies'.

I'm sure most aren't planning baby=flat.
But they just don't plan.
That and the drunken state I see them in round town. Common Sense goes out the window.

Sheppy. Easy to look after, maybe, but it's not a lot of fun so far. When i say hard, i don't mean complicated or anything like that, but with little sleep or time to yourself it's pretty exhausting so far.

I totally agree that if a council house (and the freedom from parents it brings) is so great it's worth having a baby very young then there is something wrong. That's just not why babies should be brought into the world.

I know what you meant Trying, I didn't mean to sound flippant, 'twas more of a response to the "well my baby is six weeks old now and I've never had any problems" kind of posts.

It's a huge transition, a life changer and affects every single thing you think and do in a way you could never imagine beforehand. I found the relentlessness and the responsibility of being a parent almost crushing to start with but as I settled into it, it eased, albeit a completely different set of challenges was soon presented. It gives you a newfound respect for other parent doesn't it, even your own!

Teenage parents need better education not awards. Christ.

having a baby is much harder work than work

Thats pretty subjective. And certainly not true for everyone. There is a lot about having a baby that can be very easy.

I worked for sixteen years before I had my first baby. I agree the first six weeks were hell, but I was quite ill too during those and if there hadn't been a baby I would have had a medical certificate signing me off. I found looking after a baby and running a home (even a big one) much much easier than going to work in an office and doing a very high pressure job with a 50 minute commute. Our DC are 17 and 14 now and I work full-time (had 8 years off when they were small). Work plus home plus teenagers is hard.

No I don't think people should have children to get into social housing. I think they should be sure they are in a stable relationship and make sensible choices and providing there is no and has never been any abuse I think the parents of teenage girls who have babies should take and be expected to take responsibility for them.

I don't think it is just the 'hard work' aspect that you have to think about. Sure my kids are hard work and some days I long for days when I could sit down and faff with emails ifs wasn't having a great day but it's also more rewarding and I'm my own boss I can put in as much or as little effort as I like, go where I like, see whom I like. I say this as someone who loves her job and has a 'career'. I imagine the prospect of some dire low-paid job where you dont see your mates and are being told what to do all day is a much worse prospect then being at home with your kids.

The other thing about kids is the unconditional love. I've had to hold mine down screaming this evening to force eye drops into his eyes 20 second later he wanted me to cuddle him. Kids don't care what you do or who you are they just accept you and that's a powerful thing.

I think i'll agree to suspend judgement on work vs child rearing effort levels, i'm only 4 months in after all. Maybe once i get more than 2 hours sleep in a stretch and can go places without screaming and feeding nightmares I will agree kids are easier.

I do remember though when ds was a wee babe and I was struggling feeling so totally useless and incompetent and wondering how a 17 year old in a tower block with no-one caring to love her, could possibly manage to care for herself and a baby and how both of them could possibly survive.