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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Were you being unreasonable when your child was injured at nursery or school?

51 replies

Shinybits · 20/09/2012 13:04

I know children get bumps/grazes/bruises/cuts under the supervision of their teachers, accidents happen.

During my time working in an early years classroom i had to hand out accident forms explaining what had happened, many parents seemed care free but i also had a fair few whom i felt were being unreasonable and a bit pfb in their reactions. - fortunately there were never serious incidents.

But after the two tragedies that have occurred recently it got me thinking....

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-19632847

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2202297/Dicky-Birds-nursery-Police-investigate-death-year-old-Tiya-Chauhan-choked-jelly-cube.html

So in hindsight do you think you were justified in how you handled nursery accidents? Have you taken your complaints further? How was you handled? Who do you think was being unreasonable?

OP posts:
MrDobalina · 20/09/2012 13:06

i dont think the 2 tragedies needed to be included in your OP and I think you are going to get MN battered for it! Smile

MrDobalina · 20/09/2012 13:07

my dcs have only ever had minor accidents in nursery, which were accidents so I have always been one of the care-free parents...

Callisto · 20/09/2012 13:08

Why MrDobalina? Confused

MrDobalina · 20/09/2012 13:09

why what callisto?

StateofConfusion · 20/09/2012 13:10

If its something I know could happen at home I just go with, thanks for letting me know, was she/he ok afterwards.

We've only had bumped heads and sand in eyes and nose.

Bumped heads happen, and sand well dd has been known to throw it so I can't critisize if another child has and she was in the firing line, however if she was injured by equipment, or not being supervised enough I'd take it further.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 20/09/2012 13:13

OP you should take care as your message reads like a journalistic enquiry, which I am sure is not what you meant.

KenLeeeeeee · 20/09/2012 13:15

If it's an accident, then it's an accident and there's no point kicking up a fuss. I did, however, complain at length when my son broke his foot at nursery and not one person could tell me how because there had been no staff outside supervising the children while they played in the garden area. That's 20-something 3 year olds, and no staff supervising. SOOOOOO not ok. It wasn't the accident I was annoyed about per se, but the lack of professionalism from the staff.

ReallyTired · 20/09/2012 13:16

I don't think that any parent would be "care-free" if their child died. Both the tragedies in your links are far more than a cut or a bruise and its quite right that the police is involved as the nursery may well be guilty of corporate manslaughter. I think that if my child was killed at nursery then I would not want those responsible for failing to look afer her to ever look after kids again. Certainly its not unreasonable for child workers to face criminal charges if gross neligence leads to the death or serious injury of a child.

As far as petty incidents go, I am more care free with my second child than my first. I do care about my children, but minor cuts and bruises are part of childhood.

PunkInDublic · 20/09/2012 13:17

My son aged 18 months picked up an axe from a little red riding hood display and hit himself in the face with it sharp side down. Nice gash down his forehead and nose. He was fine, I think I took it well, I did calmly point out that perhaps they would like to have a think about what was in reach of the children and how closely supervised the children were. Amazingly it was an fantastic nursery, he thrived there.

I just tried to remind myself most accidents happen in the home. My DS was more likely to hurt himself at home than at a childcare facility that is checked and follows a health and safety plan regardless of how careful we are. The two links seem like tragic accidents.

RationalBrain · 20/09/2012 13:18

So long as the establishment has taken all reasonable courses of action to prevent injury, then I would not be upset. Accidents happen. Where the procedures are not in place or not followed through though - watch out mummy tiger!

WorraLiberty · 20/09/2012 13:22

OP you should take care as your message reads like a journalistic enquiry, which I am sure is not what you meant.

I thought the same thing.

missymoomoomee · 20/09/2012 13:23

When DS was 18 months old I put him into nursery for one morning a week, I lived practically beside the place, they knew I was at home, they had all my numbers etc, he was in for 4 hours.

One day I went to pick him up and he had a massive bruise right across his throat, the nursery nurse told me he had fallen on a toy but they gave him 'some magical kisses and cuddles and made it all better'.

I went absolutely mental. It had happened 2 hours prior to me showing up apparently and they hadn't even put a cold compress on it. I took him to a&e (possible overreaction on my part) and he was ok fortunatly, but freaking magical kisses and cuddles??? really???.

I stopped him going straight away and reported them, an inspector (or whatever the job title is) went out and they had to do a review of their first aid and accident reporting policies but that was about it. Then they billed me as I hadn't given them 6 weeks notice and they got a very detailed response back from me as to exactly why they wouldn't see another penny from me and exactly why I had removed him with no notice and I didn't hear anything back again.

It wasn't the accident I was upset about in all fairness, kids fall all the time, it was the 'aftercare' or lack thereof

Original poster
Shinybits · 20/09/2012 13:23

Oh dear, I'm very sorry on reflection it does look like a journalistic enquiry. I assure you it's not. I included the links because I felt they supported parents anxieties, especially when parents may feel recurrent accidents may be due to lack of supervision. I'm not looking to upset people, I'll keep my eye on this and withdraw it if that's the general consensus

OP posts:
WelshMaenad · 20/09/2012 13:26

Missy, you took him to a&e for a bruise?

Original poster
Shinybits · 20/09/2012 13:26

missymoomoomee I would never ever ever put 'some magical kisses and cuddles' down on the accident form, hmmm I'd be fuming too

OP posts:
missymoomoomee · 20/09/2012 13:32

Yes Welsh I did Blush it was right across his throat. I admit I possibly definatly over-reacted. It was 9 years ago and he was is my pfb though I felt it better to err on the side of caution.

LadyInDisguise · 20/09/2012 13:33

Welsh it really depends on the size of the bruise and its location (the throat) is prob more worrying than on the shin.

I have to say 'cold compress' don't do anything anyway to magic kisses are probably just as good.
The issue here is the evaluation of the potential 'danger' associated with the fall. Nursery didn't think it was a big issue. mum though it was.

WelshMaenad · 20/09/2012 13:35

Well, bugger me.

FWIW I'd be delighted if my child who had received an accidental minor injury was soothed, lovingly, with magic kisses and cuddles. I can't believe you whipped him out of nursery and refused to pay fees in lieu if notice because they were nice to your child when he hurt himself. Biggest unreasonable overreaction I've ever heard.

missymoomoomee · 20/09/2012 13:36

Shiny they didn't even fill out an accident form until I insisted on it, and under the 'treatment given' section they did just write kisses and cuddles, they saved the 'magical' for telling me about it. Still makes me mad now.

LadyInDisguise · 20/09/2012 13:36

Yes but what do you put on a bruise though?
All good not to put 'magical kisses' on an accident form but what else can you do? You can't put any cream in case of allergy, you can use medication because you are not a nurse/doctor.
Cold compress isn't going to make a difference.

Imo magical kisses is the best remedy you can give a child that age.

steppemum · 20/09/2012 13:38

surely you are care free if you trust the setting and can see it was an accident. I would only stress if I felt the incident was a bit off.

My ds has smashed his teeth on the playground and needed emergency dental work. It was entirely his fault. I wouldn't dream of blaming the school

missymoomoomee · 20/09/2012 13:40

Welsh, really? If your 18 month old falls on a toy and gets bruised right across his throat, and this bruise was black for about 3 or 4 weeks, so it was a really bad fall, you would be fine if they didn't give appropriate medical treatment? It wasn't the accident I was concerned about it was the lack of treatment.

Original poster
Shinybits · 20/09/2012 13:41

It's the phrasing, yes to a child but to the concerned parent? I'm not so sure.

OP posts:
WelshMaenad · 20/09/2012 13:42

I picked up DS from playgroup last week with a bump on his head and a copy of an accident firm that told me he bumped heads with another child, was checked over, was comforted with a cuddle and did not seem to be displaying any ill effects bar the red lump to his forehead. Lovely. Precisely what I'd do. What are they supposed to do, phone an ambulance every time a kid falls down?

Lonecatwithkitten · 20/09/2012 13:44

My DD found new a special ways to injure herself at nursery (and home). Every time there was a correctly filled accident form and the time she fell on to the toy farm and needed stitches I was called immediately. This is the child who managed to give herself two black eyes by pulling the bits of wood in the cargo netting back into her face!