AIBU to want a little something as a thank you?

[bowerbird]

This is very minor. I acknowledge this. Still.....

For the past year and a half I have driven one of my DD's friends and her parent to a gymnastics class every Saturday. It's a twenty minute car journey but about an hour and a half on public transport.

Basically, I'm happy to do it. I'm going anyway and it makes environmental sense, and it really helps them out. For a long time I didn't have a car, so really appreciate it now and feel it's only right to give a lift to people who don't have a car.

BUT... would it kill them to perhaps give me a bottle of wine, some chocolate or something really small as a thank you? Just once, at the end/or beginning of the school year? I don't want or expect petrol money as I'm making the journey anyway.

This is petty, right? Tell me to get over myself.

This is petty, get over yourself :)

Seriously though, if you're making the journey anyway, does it matter? Do they verbally say thank you? That should be enough I reckon x x

Yanbu to expect some acknowledgement ....

Do they ever actually say thank you? If not, you're not being petty at all. If they do, you are unfortunately expecting others to act as you would in similar circumstances. Sadly you will almost always be disappointed in such cases.

YANBU
I would probably be a bit miffed too. Its not the present itself is it? - it's the principle and the fact that you feel they are taking you for granted.

Ha ha ha Love.

I said it was petty right? I've had one of those days feeling a bit low - everything kind of niggles.

I will get over myself. Tomorrow.

I think a thank you would be appropriate. But it's not a major issue.

It'd be simple courtesy to offer some sort of thank you, surely? Only a free, weekly lift (regardless of whether the driving is making the journey) is a kindness that ought to be recognised.

Yes, they DO say thank you, absolutely. They're not awful people and don't wish to give that impression.

it's not about a thing, is it? It's about general appreciation and them taking you for granted.

YANBU to want a bit of

A mean person would tell you to make yourself unavailable for a couple of weeks, gie them a kick up the arse.

Of course it's petty, but so are many of our problems! YANBU. I always offer petrol money, even if they were going that way anyway. If this was declined, I would buy a token thank you gift.

My mum did this when I was a child for a friend of hers - lifts all over...and my brother aged about 7 said, 'You are very rude. You should give my mum some petrol money'...out of the mouth of babes!

MsVest - can I give YOU a lift anywhere?

Thanks for the flowers Nagoo

But if the parent has offered you petrol money and you turned it down, why on earth would they expect to give you anything else? I'm assuming they naturally say thank you anyway.

Did you offer the lift in the first place? They might think you're perfectly happy.

Heath, no they never offered petrol money. And yes I did offer. Does that matter?

I never understand when people don't think a sincere verbal thank you is enough. If you know someone appreciates it and feels thankful, then what difference is a bottle of wine going to make apart from to satisfy greed?

As long as they say thank you I don't see why you expect a gift? I wouldn't. I don't think I would get someone anything although I would definitely offer petrol money.

I used to take my friend to college every week, otherwise she would have had to get the bus. She said she wouldn't come unless I let her give me petrol money. We compromised on her giving me some money fortnightly.

I think they should offer you something, you have saved them a fortune and time!

If you offered the lift, then I would assume you were happy to do it. But I would always offer petrol money. I do think it's off that they didn't.

But the social nicety of offering a bottle of wine or something would not have occurred to me. Maybe that's true for them too.

I don't think YABU at all. You are going anyway, but otherwise they would be paying out for public transport. I would expect them to offer petrol money and if not, definitely some gratitude gestures. Clearly you and I were raised properly OP!

OUtraged. Greed? REally? I don't think that enters into it.

I would always give a present -but I would do it at christmas, not at the end of the school year. I would buy you something more expensive than I would if you were a similar friend who didn't give lifts, so you might not notice IYSWIM.

(that implies that I buy my friends presents based on what they do for me, which isn't strictly true, but I do factor things like that in)

Blimey! I hate this attitude that one should give little presents out for every little thing! If it were me I would never expect more than a verbal thank- you. I certainly don't want someone to buy me stuff. I don't buy gifts for people unless it's a special occasion. It's just mindless consumerist behavior to be buying stuff all the time else you're 'rude'.

I saved a neighbours life 3/4 weeks ago and have had no thanks of any kind. What I saw will live with me forever though.