AIBU to want a little something as a thank you?

[bowerbird]

This is very minor. I acknowledge this. Still.....

For the past year and a half I have driven one of my DD's friends and her parent to a gymnastics class every Saturday. It's a twenty minute car journey but about an hour and a half on public transport.

Basically, I'm happy to do it. I'm going anyway and it makes environmental sense, and it really helps them out. For a long time I didn't have a car, so really appreciate it now and feel it's only right to give a lift to people who don't have a car.

BUT... would it kill them to perhaps give me a bottle of wine, some chocolate or something really small as a thank you? Just once, at the end/or beginning of the school year? I don't want or expect petrol money as I'm making the journey anyway.

This is petty, right? Tell me to get over myself.

Those being given the lifts are saving bus fare money. If they were to leave a bottle of wine in the car, it would have cost less than the bus fares so they would still be saving.

My friend and I go on a long journey occasionally during which she is driving her car. We always split the petrol money half and half.

Fwiw - I will always very happily offer lifts to make someone's life easier - if we are going to the same thing and it's not out of my way why not.

Whenever people off petrol money I feel really awkward so don't hesitate in refusing - however - if at said occasion we were having coffee I would gladly accept and appreciate the gesture because I drove.

I don't think yabu for some form of further acknowledgement but am sure your friend just hasn't thought about it rather than being rude.

God I'd be mortified if someone tried to give me a gift for letting them sit in my car while I did a journey I was doing anyway!

I had regular lifts off my friend for a few months. I always said thank you as did dd but never bought her anything or offered her petrol money because she would say no but I would always pick up her dd from nursery or feed her pets when away or take both her dc when she was ill. It's how friendships work here though

Try not being available for a couple of weeks, then when she realizes how inconvenient the bus is, she might stop taking you for granted. It's not really about a gift is it, it's about feeling like you are not being appreciated.

Thank you everyone for your responses. Think I just needed to get this off my chest.

Getting over myself now. Good night all.

I think it is rude of them not to give you any petrol money - they are lucky to have your help and especially over such a long and consistent time period.

Maybe she's planning to get you something nice for Christmas..........

I'd much rather a verbal thank you and it meant sincerely then a box of chocolates.

A neighbour of mine gave my son a lift to school everyday last year, she offered, she was taking her son anyway, so about about once or twice a term I would make her a cake or some cookies. I like baking, she was doing my DS a favour and I didn't feel like I was taking advantage as I couldn't reciprocate with lifts.

So they say thank you, but you want wine or chocolates?

If I was going the same way, I wouldn't expect anything in return for a lift. However, if it was a regular thing, every week, although I wouldn't accept petrol money, I would be a little pissed if I got nothing at all out of it. Not much, even just a cup of coffee bought for me once in a while would do. This doesn't sound like a close friend of the OP's so its not like it's a swings and roundabouts scenario. Yeah to not offer something is rude IMO.

Actually, I can see the OP's point.

Years ago, I used to have a slightly awkward journey to work, due mainly to the poor public transport where we lived at that time. dropping me off at work took him a bit out of his way, but obviously he didn't mind that since he was doing me a favour. A work colleague of mine began to ask us for lifts and since we were travelling to the same place, naturally, we were happy to give her a lift. Except that it very quickly became accepted that DH would be available to give her a lift every day, even on days when I wasn't at work, when he could have travelled by a more direct route and saved himself quite a lot of time on his journey. This went on for a couple of years until we moved away from the area. Not once did she ever offer DH more than a 'thank you'. regardless of the fact that on most occasions, we were travelling to the same place, she still saved a lot of money by not having to pay out for bus fares. It would not have killed her to have given DH a bottle of wine or a couple of bars of chocolate now and again. She didn't even give us a Christmas card. There was a definite sense from her that we were somehow obliged to keep giving her the lift.

I agree you shouldn't look to make a profit out of these situations, but a gesture every now and again would be nice and would stop anyone feeling taken for granted.

YANBU

I would have insisted on giving you some money, not loads but something to help with the petrol.

My DS is at Uni and only one lad in his house has a car. I told him to make sure he always offer something for petrol if he gets a lift with him. It's only polite.

Bank it, for when you need her..the time will come

If you were giving me a lift then I'd probably buy coffees at the venue if available/ make little gifts every once in a while, nothing says thank you like home made cake and by putting my time in I'd be acknowledging the time you've saved me. IYSWIM

YANBU

A cheerful thank you is appropriate when it is the odd lift. Every week for a year and a half is a lot of lifts, it is wear and tear on your car and as others have said your friend is saving a quite a bit of money on bus fares.

It is not being greedy to want your kindness and generosity acknowledged in a small way. It is a social convention that you reciprocate in some way when people give to you.

I think the friend is very selfish and unthinking.

omfg quite!