to leave DCs with a complete stranger?

[Flojo1979]

Well I'm a single mum with zero support network. I'm incredibly lonely and in need of some me time.
Assuming I had someone to go out with, not sure I do :(
AIBU to try and find a babysitter?
I don't know anyone who could, but I know some websites have ppl advertising who r crb checked and experience but would u?
Would u trust a complete stranger to come in to your home and babysit?

How old are the children?

I can recc some fab babysitters in london

Every childminder or nursery worker starts as a stranger, don't they? Unless you are lucky enough to have family/friends to help, which I'm not.

Sorry to hear you're feeling lonely, Flo. Can't really advise on babysitters but when you've got one sorted more than happy to suggest some places you coukd to go to meet people.

What kind of things do you enjoy?

I appreciate your struggle but I really couldn't, sorry.

Someone you don't know but who has been personally recommended I think is different to a complete stranger - could you ask around?

You could meet them and get to know them - soon aren't a stranger.

How old are your children?

If they are at nursery then there are usually plenty of the staff there in need of earning some extra cash by babysitting, and they wont be a complete stranger to the child either.

Or ask the mums at school if they know a reliable babysitter.

I have done loads of times - assuming those who are berating aren't single parents. I've got all my babysitters from sitters.co.uk. They have, without exception, been brilliant, reliable, punctual and very professional.

Nothing to worry about. People are a wee bit hysterical IMO

Yes. It is not always possible for a parent to leave their child with family or friends, I work in a respite role and at some point I am a 'complete stranger' to the children and families I work with. I am vetted and CRB checked to within an inch of my life.

Would I leave my child with a random stranger? No. Would I leave them with someone who is working in a professional capacity? Yes, I would.

If they go to nursery I would ask staff if they would babysit

In that sense I have left dc with strangers, the playgroup workers, nursery workers, school workers ect.

We use sitters agency which I would recommend. I believe they use childcare professionals as babysitters. We now have two favourites we always request.

Where are you Flojo? I'm in the NE and would happily meet up with you for a low calorie drink :o
In answer to your question - yes, I think I would. That said, could you try to make friends who live locally and start off small meeting at each others' houses?

Im a nursery nurse and have been for 8 years and have my own dd who is 11 weeks. i often babysat babies from the nursery and so does my collegues/friends. could you maybe enquire at a local nursery as most nursery nurses also babysit x where are you from?
Ps sorry your feeling like this :-(

squeaky - DS's nursery insisted that they charged £10/hour for babysitting which put them out of my price bracket. Sitters charge iirc £6/hour

can also recommend sitters - we have used them several times and it works well - it's cheaper than other babysitters round here (London).

they are not known to us the first time they sit BUT they are known to the agency. the kids (age 6 and 8) are fine with it. agree with the poster who said about meeting up with them before hand? many of them will happily come for a few hours after school one day - that way you and the kids can meet them.

HTH

Yes. Have used 'sitters' agency too. Particularly for a family wedding far from our home but where we wanted the children to be put to bed and for us to be able to enjoy the evening together. I'd probably do a short first session and make sure that your DCs have met the sitter before they go to bed. Enjoy your night out!

Dowagers, that is outrageous! Were the nursery getting a cut out of it too??

None of their bloody business at all!

We have a few reliable babysitters that started off as strangers.
Ask around your local nurseries for a start, they will have all been CRB checked and most people are happy to earn some extra money for sitting around playing with kids!

Where abouts in the country are you OP?

Everyone is a stranger until you get to know them!
We have tended to use local students (older teens or 20s) as babysitters, and I have usually put out an advert and then met the person, invited them round and watched them with the children before committing to booking them. Alternatively, if people are advertising professional services then that's fine.
Neither of these situations are exactly pulling random strangers off the street are they?!

I think sometimes people who only use family to babysit are unrealistic about how life is for those of us without relatives on tap to act as babysitters. We have no family within 100 miles, so it was a choice of either finding and trusting babysitters, or never going out as a couple and missing out on an awful lot of other social stuff too, eg evening classes which sometimes fell when dh was away.

Life is crap if you're isolated and lonely, and you will feel like a much better parent to your child if you are feeling more positive

I'm in the NW, my children are 7 and 3, I never thought of asking nursery staff, they seem to work so hard at nursery I assumed they'd want to relax in the eve but I guess some one might need the money, worth a try.
I guess there's 2 sides to it isn't there, how can u be totally sure someone isnt...well worse case scenario..a paedo and I guess u can never be totally sure cos a lot of these press cases turn out to be relatives etc anyway.
I was going to ask re costs, £10 an hr would be excessive, especially if out for 3 hrs + but would ppl bother turning out for just a couple of hrs at £6 an hr?

Thanx for the offers of company.
I did go to a parent and toddler group today to try and get out and about but there were only 2 other mums there and they both had babies under 1 and tended to bond with each other. I remember when my DC1 was that age and ppl with big toddlers seemed a different world to me.

Maybe I could do an evening class, I never thought of that, that would be nice.
I do aqua aerobics one eve per wk and my folks babysit but I don't like asking beyond that. and they always make me feel like I'm putting on them My mum always says "u chose to have kids, no one forced u, u made your bed, lie in it" she was never one for mollycoddling!

The school DS goes to issues a list of 6th formers who babysit - we pay our regular girl £6 an hour. It might be worth asking your school if they do similar or if you ask the neighbours if they know any teens that can help.

We tend to pay for 3 hrs to make it worthwhile, but if you wanted 2 hrs a week for a regular slot then perhaps you could make an arrangement. Most teens are happy to be in a house where they can pick the tv and get snacks.

advertise at the local college for people who are doing childcare qualifications? They'd be CRB checked, probably keen for experience/ some spare cash and might be able to help in the weekend poss if you needed a break then? Can't imagine they'd charge the earth either?

FWIW I think you're thinking about all the sensible things- and you need a break! You're hardly leaving them in the pub carpark are you!?