to leave DCs with a complete stranger?

[Flojo1979]

Well I'm a single mum with zero support network. I'm incredibly lonely and in need of some me time.
Assuming I had someone to go out with, not sure I do :(
AIBU to try and find a babysitter?
I don't know anyone who could, but I know some websites have ppl advertising who r crb checked and experience but would u?
Would u trust a complete stranger to come in to your home and babysit?

squeaky - I assume they were although I didn't actually quiz the staff. They were really embarrassed at having to ask so much. It's a bit stupid really as I'd rather have used people he knew but I ended up using Sitters because they were so much cheaper

OP.Was talking to DP today.I work away in London in the week and he looks after children during the week.Were saying how utterly difficult it must be to be on your own with children with no support etc.Friends of mine who are singe parents say it is so hard as they have no one to discuss situations and decisions with etc.I was brought up by my mum and know how hard it was for her.So I do not think you unreasonable and agree with posters re college students etc.I wish you well.

Apologies for high jacking the thread, but how much should I pay a babysitter for two DC's? I have asked my DC's key worker at nursery if she will sit for us occasionally and she said yes. We live in South East. TIA

OP - I feel for you. It must be so hard and lonely. Depending on how old your DC's are, can you ask one of their nursery workers to babysit? If they are at school, maybe one of the TA's?

Good luck OP.

flojo, I was in your situation (tho' a long time ago - 13-17 years! )... I went out very, very rarely without DS1 when he was little - almost never in the evening. What I did was...

• Added an hour or two to my daytime childcare (nursery/child-minder) so I could do something at lunchtime (when I was just working mornings) or early evening - like go for a swim
• Went to a local toddlers' group to get to know other parents... This led to day-time coffee and chats, but also to the occasional evening, because...
• I volunteered to babysit first, with DS1, for free. When I'd done it for someone else and they were no longer a stranger, then I was happy for them to repay the favour :)

Thanks for all your wonderful advice. I'll def make enquiries at nursery...now I just need to find somewhere to go!...and what to wear....

People always get het up at the idea of a strange babysitter....but let me as you this....my DD has been in reception for one week. She's been asked on a playdate by a mum I don't know at all.

She's 4....I can't bring myself to send her off with strangers to play....they won't always be strangers of course...but right now they are.

There's no invitation for me....just DD.

I think as your kids are old enough to tell you what sort of time they've had it should be OK - I wouldn't leave a child younger than 3 with someone I didn't know. Worth asking nursery staff first though, and asking other parents at the nursery for recommendations!

Flojo, where in the NW are you? I'm also in the NW and my DSis is a qualified, CRB checked nursery nurse who might be willing to babysit for some extra money.

I also have a 3 year old who would love someone new to play with.

Yanbu to look for a babysitter. I find the people who get hysterical about the idea of "leaving them with a complete stranger" are usually those who are lucky enough to have family around to babysit.

waftycrank I'm near bolton

you should definately try nursery first, loads of people i know have sitters this way

and failing that alot of people get babbysitters from agencies etc

and sounds to me like your parents DO support you, one night a week is more than we get!

have some fun

I used to be a stranger for the (many) people I used to babysit for. However, I was recommended so I was not totally random.
YANBU