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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want ONE morning off this week?

65 replies

oopslateagain · 18/09/2012 17:25

Dh works FT, I have two voluntary jobs that take me a total of about 15 hours a week. I do all the housework-type stuff except hoovering - Dh will wash up once in a while if I ask him to but it's usually me. I get up around 6.30, have a cuppa, sort out breakfast and wake Dd at 7, we have tea & breakfast together then she gets ready for school and heads out at 8.15.

Dh is off work this week as we are planning to move house soon and he wants a week to get everything sorted and partly packed.

I asked if he would take one morning this week and get up with Dd so I could have a bit of a lie-in on a weekday (bliss!). He was a bit , asking what time Dd has this, what time he should do that, what should he do for breakfast (point at the cupboard FFS, she can get her own cereal!), I felt like he was trying to make it so awkward that I'd tell him not to bother.

Today I mentioned it to my mum, and she was all "oh you can't do that, he gets up early every day, he works hard, it's his week off, let him have his week's lie-ins".

I don't get a day off. I don't ever get a day off. I want one day where I can stay in bed till 8.30 with a cuppa. AIBU?

OP posts:

KeepYerTitsIn · 18/09/2012 20:16

I have a 15 yr old, and I wouldn't dream of lying in bed whilst he got up and got ready by himself for school. Aren't parents supposed to, well, parent their children? It's just part of being a family, isn't it? Seems a little harsh to laugh at someone for being a caring mother.

showtunesgirl · 18/09/2012 20:41

It's just once every now and again though isn't it?

In fact at 14, I would've loved to have got up and had the whole house to myself first thing in the morning and done my own thing.

Summerblaze · 18/09/2012 21:33

I met DH at 14. I think she might be alright getting up by herself for one morning. I am not making fun of you. Sometimes its hard to believe that they are getting older.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 18/09/2012 22:16

KeepYerTitsIn it's one morning the OP is asking for, not to move the 14 year old out into a work house.

Part of parenting IMO is preparing your child for the world. So, by 14 I could cook for the family, did my own washing, ironing, cooking (because I was vegetarian and my DM refused to make two meals), decorated my own room in black, I was a Goth, got myself up and dressed, washed up, had a weekend job, basically did lots that prepped me for life.

I don't think the thread has been mean. Generally, most people have gone for gentle ribbing

holyfishnets · 18/09/2012 23:51

Ask DD to bring you tea in bed?

bogeyface · 19/09/2012 01:51

At 14 yes, she is capable of getting herself up and out. But as someone who did that for years I can say that what she gets from having a parent who cares enough to be up with her and wave her off is invaluable.

No she doesnt need a parent at that time, but she wants it and I dont see the problem if the the OP wants to fulfill that need.

She is asking her DH to get up with his dd one day, just one day. What the hell is wrong with that?

I am sure that the OP has less issues with her DD and will have less in the future because she showed her DD that she was important and loved.

diddl · 19/09/2012 07:43

"but she wants it"

Has she said that?

"I am sure that the OP has less issues with her DD and will have less in the future because she showed her DD that she was important and loved."

halcyondays · 19/09/2012 10:38

Ok, I can understand her needing a bit of a push to actually get out of bed, but surely, at 14, once she's up she can sort herself out.

halcyondays · 19/09/2012 10:39

And how can you have a 14 year old and yet our dh still doesn't know what her morning routine is?

halcyondays · 19/09/2012 10:40

Your dh, not our dh

WorraLiberty · 19/09/2012 10:43

My DH would have no idea what my 13yr old's morning routine is because he's at work before my DS is out of bed on a school morning

nokidshere · 19/09/2012 10:47

One or both of us always gets up with our children (11 & 13) for breakfast on school days - whyever would that be a problem? Its part of our lives having breakfast together and seeing what everyone has planned for the day. not to mention last minute scrambles for pe kits etc

They get up themselves on weekends though so we have our lie in then :)

Myliferocks · 19/09/2012 10:49

If my DD1 (she's 16) is the only one who has to go to college during the week then I get up with her but I sit on the sofa with a cup of tea and a newspaper.
At the weekend if she has an early shift at work then she is on her own.
I'll stagger through later when my younger DC get up.

halcyondays · 19/09/2012 10:56

My DH works full time and leaves before our dds' are even up but he still knows what their morning routine is. If he's on a day off, we would usually both get them ready for school, but they are 6 and 4, so need a bit more chivvying than a 14 year old. I'm sure the OP's dh could manage to get up and give her breakfast. It's not rocket science is it?

Sidge · 19/09/2012 12:12

at morning routine for a 14 year old.

I have a nearly 14 year old and my morning 'routine' for her goes like this:

0650 - go in and see if she's got up after her alarm went off at 0645. Take her a cup of tea (only because I was up at 0600 and made myself one).

0715 - shout outside DD1s door that I am leaving in 15 minutes.

0730 - herd DDs 2 and 3 into car and leave for work/school. If DD1 is not there I leave without her (never happened yet).

I think I strike a nice balance between caring mum and promoting independence in my teenager

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