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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to refuse to come into work on a scheduled day off?

57 replies

Hails86 · 17/09/2012 21:01

1st time poster so please be gentle....

I work Tuesdays and wednesdays and pay £55 per day to have my child in Nursery on those days. In november my work are implementing a new system and are telling me i have to come in on the Monday and i can have Wednesday off, no extra pay, however i cannot swap my childs nursery days which mean that week i will have to pay for him to attend nursery on monday, tuesday and wednesday that week but recieving only the same amount of pay that week as im still only working 2 days. Am i being unreasonable to refuse to go into work on the monday and tell them they will have to organise seperate training for me?

OP posts:

wigglesrock · 17/09/2012 21:04

Its only for a one off, they will not do separate training for you I'm being gentle but your childcare arrangments are of no interest to them.

Gumby · 17/09/2012 21:07

Are you sure nursery won't let you switch for one day?
Could the child's dad take leave?
Could Friends or family help as a one off?

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 17/09/2012 21:07

If its a one day thing then YABU. It may well be someone elses day off another day.

AntsMarching · 17/09/2012 21:09

YABU. You have two months notice to sort out child care.

Fakebook · 17/09/2012 21:10

Is this permanent or just one week? YABU if its just one week. Your CM SOUNDS crap too. Why do you have to send your child on a Wednesday if you have a day off?

edam · 17/09/2012 21:10

It's only one day, and it's two month's notice. I don't think you have many grounds to object, tbh.

Gumby · 17/09/2012 21:11

Fakebook - it's a nursery not a childminder
You have to pay to keep the day

Original poster

Hails86 · 17/09/2012 21:11

Nursery wont let me swap ive tried, no friends or family local to help and dp has used up all holiday as his dad is seriously ill in hospital and work were difficult about him taking it as compassionate for his dad as we had a miscarriage at 16 weeks that he took time off for as compassionate.

Damn ok, i guess ill have to suck it up, im just being moody as im pregnant and wasting £55 is the last thing i want to do with another baby on the way.

Thanks all who replied

OP posts:

rubyslippers · 17/09/2012 21:11

YABU

You have 2 months to find a solution

Your nursery sounds very inflexible that they cannot swap a day

Do you have a partner? Family? Friend? Anyone that can have your child

pleasethanks · 17/09/2012 21:11

If this is a one day thing you just have to suck it up I think. I had to attend a conference which was on one of my non work days, so DH took a holiday and looked after DD. If he couldn't have had I would have just paid for her to have an extra day at nursery. Just one of those things.

So, yes, YABU

rubyslippers · 17/09/2012 21:12

I would look at finding more flexible childcare tbh

GlaikitFizzog · 17/09/2012 21:15

What does your contract say? If its 9-5 Tuesday and Wednesday, it will also detail what the arrangements should be if you are required to attend training outside theses times. For example. I work a Thursday morning, but I was scheduled for a training course all day on a Thursday. I could choose to have the time back, or single time overtime. Meaning I wasn't put of pocket for the extra childcare.

I would err on the side of caution though, because you never know when you might need your work to be flexible with you. Maybe if you explain you will be out of pocket by doing as they suggest, they might be understanding. Otherwise, take it n the chin and enjoy your child free Wednesday! :)

MrsToddsShortcut · 17/09/2012 21:17

Sorry if you've already done this but, can you:-

a) Ask a family member for a one off favour looking after them? Also, you weren't clear whether your child's Dad is around - can he have them for one day?

b) Have you actually fully explained your situation to your work? You may find that if you explain that you genuinely can't alter your childcare and have no back up, they may be willing to be flexible. The worst that they can do is say no.

c) Can you have a similar conversation with the nursery about this literally being a one week only change? If they have space to take her on the Monday (which you imply they have), surely for one week they can cancel the Wednesday with enough notice?

Apologies, as I said, if you have, in fact, already had all these conversations!

reddaisy · 17/09/2012 21:17

YANBU. It would annoy me too but I would probably pay for the extra day so I wasn`t perceived to be inflexible.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 17/09/2012 21:18

OP in all honesty it sounds like you are digging your heels in over work expecting you in on a one off day and are purposefully trying to be awkward.

Your dh could call in sick for one day.

You could call Sitters. You could ask a friend if they could help out.

You could find alternative childcare.

You could ask the nursery if you could book a one off additional day and still pay for the wednesday.

You could tell work that you are unable to make it and ask if they could help you out by giving you any related training on your next day in

Fakebook · 17/09/2012 21:19

Oh I see. You have 2 months to discuss this with the nursery though. I'm sure they'll make an exception if you give them 2 months advanced notice. Mine did.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 17/09/2012 21:20

I used to work Sundays only. We had to do a certain amount of training hours per year on top of that which would be done on weekdays. The training hours were paid for. They were in addition to the regular hours we worked each Sunday. Not sure why the company has a right to tell you to work a different day to usual rather than do your usual days and pay you the extra days training on top of that?

Is it on your contract that they can change your agreed hours at their whim? It's a bit worrying as what if they do it again? I would be pushing for extra pay for the extra day, not just swapping days cos its convenient for them. You would already be doing them a favour coming in at all on an agreed day off - lots of people have 2 part-time jobs and choose those jobs around the other one. You can't expect employees to swap and change their hours at whim, unless, as I say, this was agreed when you took the job.

Original poster

Hails86 · 17/09/2012 21:21

Mrs Todd,
A is definitely not applicable but i can try B and C again, in fact Nursery dont know Im pregnant yet, i wonder if i mentioned that they will soon (well in a year) be having 2nd child of mine attend their nursery if they might be more willing to try and accommodate a one week change?

OP posts:

ivykaty44 · 17/09/2012 21:22

I think some of the replies are a little harsh - you may have 2 months to find a solution and your child care arrangements may not be of any interest to your boss - but they are the ones that want you to change a day.

You have another job on Mondays so it is not easy to arrange to change that job to another day.

Can you explain to your employer that coming in on another day in the week when you have another job is going to cost you 55 pounds and would there be another solution that you could both come up with to rectify the situation to suit you both?

Squeegle · 17/09/2012 21:22

How about asking work if you can do an extra day on the weds and get paid for it of course!

MrsToddsShortcut · 17/09/2012 21:24

Hails,

Sorry, just caught up with the rest of the posts! Please ignore most of mine...

However...before you throw in the towel completely and wave goodbye to the £55, it's worth your DP at least asking about taking a days carers leave. As a parent, he may have a few days carers leave or similar provision for this sort of thing?

He may not want to have the conversation, especially if he had had two lots of compassionate leave, but again, all they can do is say no. And they may say yes.

I'm sorry for your loss and for your family illness btw, it sounds like you've had a horrible time

omfgkillmenow · 17/09/2012 21:25

Actually I had a similar situation and called ACAS and they told me that if it was in my contract that I may have to attend training on other days then I HAD to go, but if not then I was well within my rights to say training had to be scheduled to fit my working pattern, so get out your contract and go through it.

SuperSaint · 17/09/2012 21:28

Totally agree with Glaikitfizzog. I work PT but sometimes have to attend all day training courses on a day I only work 4 hours. I have to book after school care or beg favours from friends. I have realised though that if I am flexible then work tends to be more flexible with me and let me change my hours in school holidays for example. It is worth showing your employer that you are prepared to be flexible but make it clear it is costing you for the nursery so cannot become a regular occurrence.

If you don't want a childfree day on Wednesday you could always work 3 days that week save the extra day off for another time. You never know when your DC may be ill and you need an emergency day off and I hate using annual leave for things like that!

marquesas · 17/09/2012 21:29

Hails - you will find that on MN everyone expects you to be able to make alternative childcare arrangements no matter how clearly you explain that it's not possible .

I have been in your situation and I just had to suck it up and pay for the extra day. It's not ideal but if you can't persuade the nursery to change (and tbh why should they, they are keeping your place on the Wed) and you want to keep your employer sweet you'll have to pay up.

freemanbatch · 17/09/2012 21:31

If a full time worker was told they had to attend a course on a Saturday or Sunday no one would think they should just accept it because they had two months to get used to it. Part time workers work part time to fit in with their lives and they have a right to be annoyed if they have their hours changed however much notice they are given.

OP I hope you find a solution that doesn't cost you money

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