not to cave to the preasure or am i being unfair to dd1?

[unsureunderneath]

Dd1 has school meals, she has just started reception. I'm not 100% happy about this. I worry about how processed they are and how much rubbish they contain.

However h left in June forcing me to quit work due to childcare issues, money is tight and we qualify for free school meals. So it is a help financially.

But at home I cook from scratch, we rarely eat anything processed and we drink water.

I've kept her on the free meals as I thought even if she went onto packed lunches, peer pressure would probably mean she wouldn't be happy for long with the lunches I was sending in and I would probably end up being asked to buy things like drives, making the lunchbox not much healthier in the long run.

Dd1 came home from school today, asking to take money in for juice. She has just been drinking water but she says everyone has juice so AIBU to keep her on the water, because its cheaper and healthier?

Will she be picked put as the poor kid who can't afford juice? Its juice cartoons and I'm sure its full of sugar and I don't really want her drinking it.

AIBU to have told her the juice is bad for her teeth?

Please excuse typos. Sausage fingers on phone.

I meant I would be forced to send in things like frubes not dives .. Damm autocorrect!

I think YAB a bit U. I don't think juice will do her any harm, as long as her teeth are cleaned well. I have to confess DS has juice in his lunch box every day. I know I would get bored very quickly if I was only allowed water!

I should add that she is really enjoying school meals, she enjoys trying new foods and I think picking what she wants adds a fun part to her day.

Oh I am so on the fence with this one

It's really not nice if a child feels different/poor/left out, if there is anything the parent can do (which they can't always) to help them feel differently.

Juice isn't that great for the teeth in large quantities, but a single glass of juice is not going to do her any harm. However, it's not good to start them feeling like water isn't enough in case they always want other stuff!

Can you send her in with a nice drink that you are happy for her to have? Or tell her she can have juice as a treat once a week but she has to have water the other days?

And I don't know about the school dinners at your school, but at my sons' it has always been freshly prepared on site and good quality, so perhaps you have nothing to worry about on that score.

YANBU. Our school meals are dire.The problem is that they are bought in from some private company.
This, apparently is due to very strict "nutrition" guidelines, which would make it tricky for the school to meet them every day. Itis a stupid situation really, as, if the school cooked proper home cooked dinners every day, the kids would be getting the right stuff through the week and I am sure it would ebe better for them than chicken goujons and wedges or whatever.

I switched ds to pack ups after experiences the school food myself.
I do do stuff like frubes sometimes, and juice boxes , but do healthy sandwiches, fruit/veggies too.

I think you have to compromise a little.
Every time a kids has a birthday they seem to have sweets at school, and there is an ice cream van parked outside nearly every day (not that I usually give in to that).

If it helps, ds1 and ds2 only drink water at school and they are fine with it even though they sometimes drink juice at home. Have you seen the menus for the school dinners? At my ds's school everything is cooked from scratch in the school kitchen with very little processed/rubbish food eg tomorrow they will have roast pork with roast potatoes and veg and a piece of homemade (well, school made) shortbread for pudding.

I think with school meals the option is water or the juice cartons they sell.

I know the food is prepared off site and then reheated via steaming in the microwave in the school. Would that worry anyone?

Well, it wouldn't worry me, but I can't imagine it'll taste too nice.

Sounds like the same situation in dd1's nowthenwreck.

She had vegetable curry today with ma'am bread, and peas and carrots on the side (strange I know) so part of me thinks well she got a fair share of vegetables at lunch so that can't be bad. Then part of me thinks, but how much salt was in it? Or other nasties. And then add a carton of juice ontop.

I just don't know.

Why can't ds's school have proper school cooked food? Why??
I am so jealous of all of you whose kids get that.

YANBU - our school only allows water anyway although there are a few who flout the rules.

x-post unsure.
I sort of beleived the schools explaination as to why they couldnt cook on site, but hearing that some schools are doing it, now I am

Loving ma'am bread! Royal!

my youngest son's primary school cook used to make him his own special gluten free crispy cakes.

I wonder if size of school has anything to do with it? 5-11 and only a hundred or so pupils.

preparation off-site with proper re-heating is not necessarily an issue of the food is reasonable quality in the first place. Re-heating is not the worst thing in the world. :)

Could she have juice sometimes but not every day so she gets to show the kids she is 'one of them' but can say she actually prefers water sometimes.

I know hecate. I feel guilty she's eating food that I wouldn't choose to eat in a million years. But when I suggested switching to packed lunches she didn't want to.

If she wanted to switch it would make it so much easier

Maybe Hecate. Ours has 360, so much bigger.
Bloody Hell, I would volunteer to go in and peel spuds if I thought it would help!

Unsure- I would aks to see the menu, then check out the website if it's an outside caterers. At primary level, there are limits on things like salt- our school meal provider uses local produce, and it's pretty good, although comes from a different site. I don't think a packed lunch, with bought cheap shop bread, or kid's yoghurts, would be healthier in terms of salt and sugar.

I wouldn't give any extra money for juice, we have juice once a day at breakfast (small glass) and that's it for the day, water or milk otherwise. The school is into giving them 'new' experiences foodwise, and they have goats milk occasionally!

Things to watch with school dinners are: the portions are quite measly, fine for a reception age child, but by age 10/11 and if very active, it might not be enough. Someone on MN told me that and I'm glad they did, as I make more effort to do a big meal in the evening rather than relying on school dinners. Also- school dinners always come with a pudding, so you might want to not give them a pudding later, mine were eating two a day on some days! They have fruit/yoghurt too but this is down to your child to choose it.

But, given you are getting the school dinners for free, and given how much effort it is to make a very healthy packed lunch, I would be glad of the dinners- mine only have school dinners and I'm happy with that.

Unsure-why do you think the dinners are such bad quality, and something you wouldn't eat yourself? The curry sounds ok- would you really cook a curry from scratch including all the spices? Plenty of people would just open a jar or use curry paste.

I would only stress about this if you know for sure they are low quality. Mine also have a jacket potato and cheese/ham option, with salad. So, they quite often have that if they don't fancy the main, and it's a pretty good lunch for a small child.

Ours is a big school, 90 reception children alone in the infants school which goes up to Y2. So that could be a lot to do with it.

My dc only get water to drink, and I don't buy them anything expensive/processed for lunchboxes. I am always being nagged for crisps, which I won't put in.

I am not really that strong about healthy eating, but I like the habit of drinking water not juice all the time. Also when they have juice at home, I know it is juice not orange drink and I know they actually drink it, not throw half away. I don't buy frubes, cheese dips or any of that stuff.
I just say no, and the 'everyone else has it' turns out to be not quite true and after a few days they just get on with it.

Every now and then I send in something fun for a treat and a surprise

as to school dinners, really depends on the school and what is on offer. Ours are cooked on site and are pretty good, and there is a choice, of main vegetarian or jacket potato and topping, so I can always find something they like and is not too processed.

Mumsyblouse - you're quite right, I don't actually know if they are unhealthy, I am just assuming that as its a private company, profit would come before anything else.

A rep from the company, Chartwells, gave a talk to parents saying they are healthy and I read the leaflets given out and I've been on their website. But I think, the lack of actual detail makes me wary. They stick to the guidelines but how strong are the guidelines?

It probably is Hecate. DS1&2's school has 150 children, 70 on school dinners. The school cook knows what a lot of the children like and dislike. She often phones me up to check if I've made a mistake if I've ticked packed lunches on the days she is making DS1's favourite (jacket potato).

And you're right - I do use paste! grin

I have been enforcing the fruit after dinner rule because she was having two puddings, I was feeling mean about it but you've reassured me.

Have you checked out the school's healthy food policy? Such as whether it's a part of the 'Healthy Schools' regime? Are you able to view the week's dinner menu? That might be able to answer things more succinctly for you, such as salt content/vegetable portions, etc.

I do think that you are being a bit unreasonable though, to be fair. I understand the importance of your child getting good food, but a carton of juice isn't the end of the world; you know, a few sweets won't make teeth blacken on contact.

You don't want your child to be "the poor kid who can't afford juice" but you also don't want her to be the kid who is afraid to try anything new because Mummy might not like it.