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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to sedate DD?

70 replies

Flojo1979 · 17/09/2012 17:46

Ok so I haven't taken any medical advice as yet but I assume thats about the only help gp could offer.

My DD (3.9yo) started waking up in the night, took ages to get back to sleep, messing around playing or crying etc.

It's got gradually worse to the point that both me (single mum with zero support) and her (and sometimes DS 7yo) are completely sleep deprived and exhausted.

I'm struggling to function at work and at home, I'm tired, snappy, and have no energy to play. DD is very fractious but for some reason still doesn't sleep at all in the day and hardly at night. She doesn't have any other symptoms of hyper activity though.

AIBU to ask the gp for something to help her sleep and get her back in to a normal routine?

OP posts:

MrsToddsShortcut · 17/09/2012 19:55

Hi Flo

Just wanted to second going to GP - I think it's vital that you are completely honest about her sleeping habits and also be totally honest about the effect they are having on you.

You have my sympathy though. I too, am
a single mum with no support and it's unbelievably tough. My DD5 is a terrible sleeper (ASD) and although she no longer night wakes, she's regularly awake till 11 every night.

I know how it feels to be so sleep deprived you can't function (I actually fell asleep driving at my lowest ebb and crashed my car -thankfully without the kids in it) do you are wise to sort this out. Severe sleep deprivation can literally kill, so don't underestimate it (I don't think you are though)

BUT - I promise it won't always be this bad so hang in there and go and get some help

JamieandTheMagicTorch · 17/09/2012 19:56

Also, after you've been to the GP, and if there's no underlying medical issue, google "waking to sleep".

thekidsrule · 17/09/2012 20:30

op ignore the bitchy and perfect parenting comments

glad to see some have some empathy with op

good luck and hope you find a solution

Original poster

Flojo1979 · 17/09/2012 20:31

Oh god not worms! It been going on for best part of a yr so I think there might have been other symptoms, either that or I'd have it!
Did the wake to sleep but it didn't help, I thought maybe she's too old for it now, not sure what age it can be used til.

OP posts:

Original poster

Flojo1979 · 17/09/2012 20:31

Thank-you thekidsrule

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 17/09/2012 20:33

What 'bitchy' comments are you talking about thekidsrule?

CaptainVonTrapp · 17/09/2012 20:45

Have you tried to rule out any other change in your routine that occurred a year ago? New food/drink/activity/tv programme/change in bedtime/going to bed without nappy?

Have you tried swapping rooms? Could there be something waking her in that room? Noisy neighbour/loud heating system.

I'd be looking quite hard at her diet. MSG has been linked to insomnia. You can find this in some surprising foods. eg Quavers.

Agree with other posters about chatting to the GP.

I feel your pain OP. I had a long run of sleep deprivation (she grew out of it eventually) and I remember the fog I existed in for a year. It was awful.

FrustratedSycamorePants · 17/09/2012 20:48

Don't know if someone has mentioned this, but keep a sleep diary (usually for 2 weeks) put in bedtime routine, time to bed, how long to settle and how settled, times dc is awake at night, how long for, how if settled, etc, every night for 2 weeks. Armed with this ask dr to refer to sleep therapist or similar. (cerebra have a sleep service, also local sleep help groups that dr or HV should be able to refer to, all of which usually want sleep diaries).

meMillyme · 17/09/2012 20:55

Don?t worry agentzigzag, thekidsrule didn?t mean you, your ?Shannon Matthews? comment wasn?t bitchy.

It was a million times worse. Possibly the most appalling thing I have read on mumsnet and God knows it has some hearty competition.

It is the worst possible insult you can give to a Mother.

Op ? you are not being unreasonable, definitely take her to the GP.

SirGOLDBoobs · 17/09/2012 21:01

You are being totally unreasonable to say you want to sedate her before you have ruled out any underlying problem.

If this has been going on so long, and is affecting you all as badly as you say it is, why haven't you gone to see a doctor?

Personally I would hesitate to get any child hooked on any unnecessary drugs.

Idocrazythings · 17/09/2012 21:05

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture in some places! You poor thing I sympathise with you, especially since she can't be trusted in the mornings. Would she watch a DVD quietly in your bed on waking so you can at least doze- those little travel ones are often really cheap if you don't have one she can watch. I've had a lot of success putting one of those little flip out sofas on the floor in my room for my little night time visitors. What about acidophilus too, to help put the good bugs back (incase her system got wiped out in January)

I think a few days of something to help sort out sleeping patterns is fine, when it's the last resort; but I do agree with everyone about the check up with the Dr first (especially since you have no support, they may be a good sounding board for you too, and they can prescribe good quality acidophilus too that's not available over the counter).

I really do feel for you, all the best- hope you make that appointment!

MimaSW20 · 17/09/2012 21:14

Have a look at mill-pond.co.uk , they worked wonders for us. Hugs xxx

frumpet · 17/09/2012 21:16

As a single parent you have no hope of a lie in at any time do you ? You cant share the waking time with another adult and it isnt safe or possible to ignore a awake little child. You need sleep , your 7yr old needs sleep . It is essential to your physical and mental well being . Even if the Dr gives you something to help your DD sleep for 2 to 3 nights , you will have the energy to look at other sleep training options . Go to your GP and see what they say . It isnt fair on you or your other child to be constantly sleep deprived It is actually dangerous , i hope you are not driving either child anywhere if you are that sleep deprived .

Original poster

Flojo1979 · 17/09/2012 21:40

Thanx memilly

sirgold I guess I just thought is par for the course with having DCs, she's still young and I just assumed it would get better. We were going away over summer hols and I wondered if they change in routine, sharing room with me etc might help re-jig her routine somewhat (unfortunately DS was taken ill and we needed to be flown home after just a couple of nights).

I've tried later nights, that just makes her more grumpy and doesn't stay asleep any longer.

OP posts:

Original poster

Flojo1979 · 17/09/2012 21:47

Thanx ido i'll def get on to it tomorrow.

Tried to get hold of hv but they weren't in clinic when I visited and haven't returned my call.

Will have a look at that site mima haven't heard of it before.

Thanx frumpet unfortunately I do have to drive that's why I'm getting increasingly worried. I did quite well for a while on little sleep, I think its cos I was quite used to it anyway since I have 2 DCs but this last month or so has been particularly hard.

OP posts:

Proudnscary · 17/09/2012 21:56

Feel for you re sleep deprivation - I have a dd who wakes up most nights and she's eight now!

But I have to say I never considered meds. Even in the bad old days when she woke up three or four times a night.

I just wouldn't go down that route, though I do admit I don't know much about what medication would be prescribed. It just feels wrong to me.

It's great you've bought a gro clock and have had good advice on here - the earache thing is definitely one to explore. This is quite common - even children of four and five can be unable to describe or express an earache (happened to my dn).

Good luck x

Lonecatwithkitten · 17/09/2012 22:02

No solution just sympathy. I just coslept with DD it was the only solution for her. I didn't start till she was 3.5 years and finally stopped about three months ago (she's nearly 9).

Mexxo · 17/09/2012 22:18

Sorry, haven't read whole thread so sorry if an repeating anyone else but your doctor should give you Phenergan for your DD to break the sleep/wake cycle if really bad. It's not a sedative but is a drowsy-making anti-histamine. I had it from 3 different GPs during DD and DS' infancy (now 8 and 10 years old).

Original poster

Flojo1979 · 17/09/2012 22:48

DD has no problems re ears. As my DS has had several operations for glue ear (another one in 2 wks :( I know all about ear infections and I'm ulta vigilant with DDs ears as it can be genetic.
Hopefully won't take too long for gloclock to arrive, maybe the novelty might help but half the time when DD wakes she's not fully awake and cries like night terrors / half asleep til she's awake and unsettled so she might not have her wits to look at the clock but I shouldn't be defeatist til I've tried!

OP posts:

schobe · 18/09/2012 08:21

Some GPs will prescribe melatonin which is not a sedative, or they can refer you to a paediatrician who might if it's appropriate.

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