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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to sedate DD?

70 replies

Flojo1979 · 17/09/2012 17:46

Ok so I haven't taken any medical advice as yet but I assume thats about the only help gp could offer.

My DD (3.9yo) started waking up in the night, took ages to get back to sleep, messing around playing or crying etc.

It's got gradually worse to the point that both me (single mum with zero support) and her (and sometimes DS 7yo) are completely sleep deprived and exhausted.

I'm struggling to function at work and at home, I'm tired, snappy, and have no energy to play. DD is very fractious but for some reason still doesn't sleep at all in the day and hardly at night. She doesn't have any other symptoms of hyper activity though.

AIBU to ask the gp for something to help her sleep and get her back in to a normal routine?

OP posts:
FutureNannyOgg · 17/09/2012 18:52

Have you tried a gro clock or similar? It sounds a bit crappy, but it really helped my 2 yo understand about night being for sleeping and staying in bed until the picture changed for daytime. Surprisingly effective.

happierhigherstrongerwheezing · 17/09/2012 18:54

Piriton makes me sleepy and I have all sorts of sleep issues.

She has got into a sleep cycle so waking up is normal, even if she doesn't want too.
I would take her to the drs just to see what they say.

thebeesnees79 · 17/09/2012 18:55

I use a special toddler clock with my two age 3 & 5. Its amazing that they won't get out of bed if the sheep is still asleep lol. its also worth a try

Sirzy · 17/09/2012 18:56

Speak to your HV and seek advice, I certainly wouldn't go down the sedating route unless it was really needed and I doubt medical professionals would do that unless they really had to.

Socknickingpixie · 17/09/2012 18:58

you used to be able to buy phenergan over the counter i remember it being surgested to me lots

Socknickingpixie · 17/09/2012 19:00

and i know this may sound very odd but have you tried taking her swimming? its the only thing that worked ever for one of mine.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 17/09/2012 19:01

I haven't had chance to read everyone's posts but so bloody annoyed with some of the first ones.
Do u think I'm completely stupid?
I have tried all the MN advice, I've tried everything. I wouldnt even be asking if I thought there was another way.
I am seriously worried. I have to drive to work, its too far to get public transport. I had to quit my last job cos it was too much responsibility and I was making silly mistakes cos I was so tired. I'm totally on my own and I'm Soooo tired!

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 17/09/2012 19:04

Talk to the GP, flo, they will tell you what to do far better than we can.

Good luck.

UnChartered · 17/09/2012 19:06

hey, we don't know you from the next anonymous poster on MN, so without a bit of back history, people are rightly cautious with their advice.

as for the Hmm comments, this is AIBU. i think you've got off rather lightly by some threads i've seen

toomanydaisies · 17/09/2012 19:10

I second the groclock. Genius. Dd can wake anytime she likes so long as she doesn't come to us until the sun is up (unless she really needs us, obviously. Am not an ogre Smile)

And she DOESN'T get up at all hours. Normall she sleeps for 12 hours straight, but occasionally she does wake at 3am (or whatever) and she can see from the number of stars left on her clock that it's definitely sleep time. She was 3.5 when we got it. Took 2 nights to work like a dream!

RabbitsMakeGOLDEggs · 17/09/2012 19:11

Heya, I have a DD with sleeping problems. First of all, keep a sleep diary for a few weeks, the more detailed the better, include things she ate that day, what she did, how she settled, how she slept, how many times she woke etc. That way you have a record to hand to take with you to the GP.

My DD doesn't respond well to what would usually be considered sedatives, like antihistamines, not even phernagen that you get over the counter for car sickness which can cause extreme drowsiness. She just gets more hyper.

Google sleep hygiene and make sure your routine is good and settling. I have a quiet hour after dinner with no TVs or running around squealing. They can do things like reading and colouring. Then it's a bath and settling time in bed. Despite this my own DD can be wakeful and resist sleep for up to three hours, I have found non-emotional rapid return and don't engage her in conversation helps.

For night time waking, if it's bad and she will settle in my bed, I co-sleep. If not I try to settle her in her bed. If that still isn't happening I have now just allowed her to play in her room quietly with the door closed. Then try again after an hour to settle her to bed. I have had to safety proof the house as she gets up to all sorts at night and is not risk aware, so have small hook locks at the tops of doors to keep her contained to upstairs .

It's not perfect, last night she threw toys at her sleeping brother, dragged his blankets off him, and then hid underneath his bed so I couldn't get to her. I ended up shouting and smacking her bottom, before switching out all lights and standing by her door until she stopped trying to get out of bed. I was exhausted this morning, and she will easily be the same again tonight. If the doctors suggested sedation to me, I would snap their hands off in eagerness. As it is, we are waiting for an assessment by CAMHS to see if she has an underlying behavioural condition. People genuinely don't understand how tough prolonged night waking is, physically and emotionally. My mum still thinks I am lazy to nap in the daytime... wouldn't you if your four and a quarter year old had you up all night?

MigGril · 17/09/2012 19:11

go see your GP, hopefully they will refure you to a sleep clinic to help sorry it out. Maybe even ask for a referral.

HowToChangeThis · 17/09/2012 19:13

Do speak to your GP or HV, they may offer sedatives but hopefully there is another option as medicating a child for the benefit of a parent isn't something I would be too comfortable with. Having said that, serious sleep deprivation can have all sorts of consequences from car accidents, to hallucinations to parents not acting entirely rationally. Please get help rather than letting this escalate. Is there anyone who can take her for a weekend to give you some respite, even a friend staying over who gets up with her in the morning and gives her breakfast while you lie in?

toomanydaisies · 17/09/2012 19:13

Also, please don't get cross with me if this is obvious, but I think your dd is old enough for you to have a "serious chat" with about this. Explaining that you're always there if she really needs you but that you both need to sleep well.

But as others have said, I'd go straight to your gp and just tell them exactly what you've told us!

FrustratedSycamorePants · 17/09/2012 19:15

To consider sedating dd because of your lack of sleep YANBU.
To consider doing it without medical advice from GP or paediatrician YABU.

I know what it's like to have a child who doesn't sleep. But for me the use of melatonin was a last resort having tried every other non-mediated route.

JoshLyman · 17/09/2012 19:16

Sedatives probably have their place in that they could be used to establish a sleeping pattern which would then hopefully continue on it's own.

But I doubt your GP will just hand them over because you asked - go and see them and see what they say.

Newtothisstuff · 17/09/2012 19:20

My DD is 5 and has hardly ever slept through the night, I feel your pain OP it's mentally and physically draining, it takes us on average 2 hours to get her in bed every night.
When she was 2 the doctor told me to give her medised (a reduced dose) every night for a week and see if it worked, yes it worked a treat and she was a much mug happier little girl for a week but as soon as I stopped giving it her she went back to Normal, she's got a groclock but still decides she needs to come ask me 3 times a night if it's getting up time yet !!
See what the doctor says, you know what's best for your child and if that means a bit of medication to make everyone's life a lot happier then so be it !!

RabbitsMakeGOLDEggs · 17/09/2012 19:23

Must see about getting a groclock, are they terribly expensive?

eatyouwithaspoon · 17/09/2012 19:25

a couple of years back I tried to buy some Medised for my daughter who had a cold, I couldnt as they changed the age recomendations on it. I asked the chemist why and they told me that it was being used as a nightly sedative for babies and children, I said that cannot be correct and they told me that many parents used to come in every week and buy a bottle Hmm. Thats probably why they have stopped making it.
See your GP rather than asking on the internet if its ok to sedate your daughter

Hopeforever · 17/09/2012 19:29

Groclocks are well worth every penny :)

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 17/09/2012 19:30

Thank-you for all your advice, it got nicer once I got past the Shannon Matthews comment....seriously!
I have however tried all your advice though not the sleep diary...why didn't I think of that before!
She has a good night time routine and most of the time will go to bed without much fuss at approx 7pm but she wakes about 10pm and its down hill from there on in. Then as soon as its daylight (despite black outs) she's up and expecting the day to start, which I guess it did in winter.
This has gone on since approx January when she had a stint of fluey/bugs etc which caused her to wake and then got worse over time.
I have removed all toys from her bedroom. Put black out blind up. Put locks on the downstairs doors, (as I became more and more sleep deprived she managed to get down and in the fridge without waking me and once took some anti biotics out the fridge and opened it and drank some).

She has a good meal at teatime and horlicks before bed.
She has swimming lessons, she is very physically active, yet nothing helps her sleep. It tires her and makes her cranky but it seems the more tired she is the more restless she is in bed.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 17/09/2012 19:37

If you've read a lot of advice about it on MN OP, you must know how important it is to put any relevant information in the OP.

What else you've tried is pretty crucial, it seemed you were going for the sedatives without trying anything else.

I was just writing what I thought, which is the point isn't it?

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 17/09/2012 19:38

Just ordered gloclock

OP posts:
SmethwickBelle · 17/09/2012 19:41

Defo talk to your GP, and get her checked over. Ear infections always start throbbing at night, you never know it could be something like that.

Is her waking related to having a wee and then not getting back to sleep? If she's in pull ups might be difficult to say, but you could try lifting her when you go to bed (yeah I know it's a double edged sword in that you want them to respond to their own cues but might just buy you some sleep for a fortnight)...

If she's dry at nights and its the wandering to the toilet that's waking her up properly maybe get a chair potty for her room that can be used in the darkened room with a nightlight. They fit even quite large preschooler bums.

We put a chair potty in DS1's room which he used right up to about 4.5 at night and it reduced the amount of times he'd wander into our room and be all awakey and wanting stuff after trotting down the corridor for a pee stop.

Good luck as I can only imagine how shattered you are, neither of mine have been great sleepers and I've felt insane with the broken sleep x

JamieandTheMagicTorch · 17/09/2012 19:52

I'd check out whether she might have worms as well, just to be sure