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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that IPads/laptops for younger children are just ridiculous

424 replies

MummyGalore · 17/09/2012 14:19

I don't know if this has been covered before as not on here often so sorry if so.
But AIBU to be getting increasingly riled/concerned with the amount of mums who are talking about getting their children (I'm talking under 10s but some i know are buying them for children as young as 4!!!) Ipads and laptops for christmas. It riles me as i think that they are starving their children of their opportunity to learn through imaginative play. Simple toys are the best at that age, surely ipads are not a good option especially at 4.
What do others think?

OP posts:
bluebird68 · 19/09/2012 10:40

i think it is very important that the notion that everyone has fast broadband at home, with a working computer is challenged . I work in a public library and see for myself how many people use our ICT facilities. Some people have nothing, others may just need to use the printer, some can't afford to get their computer repaired or to get new ink for their printer .

aufaniae · 19/09/2012 10:50

When the new technology of writing started taking off the ancient Greek philosopher Soctrates was dead against it. He thought that it would damage learning as it would affect people's ability to remember stories passed on by oral tradition, and most importantly he believed that learning was best received from a teacher, or discovered through discourse. Learning on your own from a book was a very poor substitute in his eyes.

And in some ways he was right. The spread of written language has ultimately lead to the disappearance of the oral traditions of passing on stories. I have no doubt that it has affected our memories, Ancient Greeks could no doubt remember long stories / dialogues much better than us.

However he completely failed to appreciate the amazing amd transformative benefits of the written word: an educated society, the ability to share information and the advancement of knowledge etc etc, as well as the simple pleasure of reading a book :)

I expect Socrates would have been horrified to see a child wrapped up in a book, the same way some posters here seem to think that children on computers are being deprived of something.

I'm not denying computers can be overused or badly used, but suggesting that by focusing on the negatives, people are missing the point entirely! We are at the beginning of an incredible leap forward in technology, and in the technology available to us as individuals.

The power of the internet is incredible for example. It is up to us to teach our children to use it well, and if they can start this early, well why not? If your child sits on it playing non educational games all day then that points to a lack of imagination from the adults rather than a problem with the technology IMO. (do you select good books for your kids to read?)

It will cease to be such an issue as the technology becomes cheaper anyway. Affordable tablets will become far more available in years to come.

imnotmymum · 19/09/2012 10:53

Great post aufan

KTK9 · 19/09/2012 11:00

What an odd direction this thread is going! - Sexualisation of children/Ipad's preventing children from having a childhood.

No one is saying a child is disadvantaged by not having an Ipad (we haven't got one, but will be very soon (dd8). Having one however, does not exclude children from being children, reading books, playing in the garden, building dens - where on earth has that come from?

Children learn through so many avenues, no one is saying a child will be on an ipad at the exclusion of everything else - heavens forbid ladies, get a grip.

Ipads can be useful in so many ways, but anything in excess can be harmful in so many ways. Some people can't afford computers, ink, printers etc., some can, but that is life, I would love a lot of things, but can't have them, but it doesn't particularly make me upset. What the OP was saying is that it is ridiculous for children under 10 to have an Ipad, surely it isn't ridiculous, as a learning, fun, interesting tool? Lucky maybe that a parent can afford to buy one, but not ridiculous.

I remember thinking we were so lucky when my Dad came home with a huge box which we linked to the TV (he bought it 2nd hand) so we could play 'Pong'!!! educational? I think not, but we had a lot of FUN!

bluerocketgirly · 19/09/2012 11:01

We have had an ipad since our first daughter was 6mo and she started using it not soon after! Despite worries of types of play, it is not a replacement for other types of play. My now two daughters use the ipad regularly but with balance, they play with a variety of toys and other learning development play even enhanced by the use of the ipad.

It was expensive but is durable and also used with respect. The girls are learning so much and benefit hugely. It is a learning tool.

As well as this it is also used for entertainment and we even use ours in the car for long journeys. Making it invaluable!!

dysfunctionalme · 19/09/2012 11:02

curiousgeorgie have you actually used one?

Er, did you actually read my post? It was in response to a post about computer games. It was not about iPads per se.

Why so defensive?

DowagersHump · 19/09/2012 11:03

bluebird - the vast majority of the population do. Over 80% of the population have internet access at home and over 90% of them have broadband.

KTK9 · 19/09/2012 11:03

Brilliant post aufan.

For those that maybe wondering......

www.ponggame.org/

McPhee · 19/09/2012 11:05

If you're finding my tone like that then I apologise, that's not meant.

It just makes me sad that children so young are being given these things, and it's somehow deemed 'normal'

It's not. But I just hope in time that we aren't building a world we regret later.

Time will tell.

imnotmymum · 19/09/2012 11:06

Oh we had that my friends thought I was so cool. I upgraded to a commodore 64-about an hour to load a cassette game but eh it was cutting edge Wink

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 19/09/2012 11:11

If I'm focussing on the negatives, it's because there's been too much focus on benefits, some of which are imagined.

People feel they're letting their children down and disadvantaging them if they cannot provide these things. Other people will get into debt using overpriced catalogues, afraid their children will be left behind.

You could say more fool them, but the I don't think that would be fair; we all want to do the best by our children (hopefully) and £400+ is an awful lot of money to spend. One person upthread mentioned that one child, aged 3, had an iPad already, and her other would get one this year for Christmas. But they'd not had a family holiday this year. That's nuts!

bluebird68 · 19/09/2012 11:15

how cheap will would it have to be in order for it to be affordable for those at the bottom? If you're a single person living on £71 pw how much could you afford from that to pay for a pc/ tablet/ internet and the upkeep? One issue with technology is how fast it moves. Its not as simple as once you've got it you're OK. You have to upgrade, pay for repairs, etc. I've got nothing against technology , my concern is how to make it universally accessible for everyone.

To talk about this golden utopia in the future is ignoring the simple fact there there are millions of people in the UK who are not computer or internet users and who already face social exclusion for that reason, something that will only get worse as technology takes over even more, i'm thinking of new JSA claimants being pushed towards making online claims and Universal credit having to be managed online. Stands to reason that the poorest are least likely to have these facilities and now face having to make their way to their local free ICT facilities in order to manage their claims and money. That's if their library is still open for business! Books were once unaffordable for all but the richest so maybe one day we will have a future where technology is truly accessible for all.

DowagersHump · 19/09/2012 11:23

I think most of this thread has focused on the negatives Jenai :o

I can't afford an ipad for DS and not sure I'd buy him one if I could. But I sure as hell don't care if anyone else wants to buy one for their DC. Although prioritising one over a holiday seems a bit bonkers.

DS brought home some artwork he'd drawn at school on the computer yesterday - his teacher had commented how good his mouse control and ability to use the controls was. I presume the fact that he uses my laptop/an ipod at home has some bearing on that

bluebird68 · 19/09/2012 11:25

over 9 million UK adults have never used the internet (mostly they will be the elderly). Millions more do not have home broadband (could be anyone) . Maybe its ok to ignore those on the lowest social rungs? We do quarterly stats at work on how many people we've helped to get online using one week's figures. This is a government initiative, even they acknowledge this is a serious issue.

bluebird68 · 19/09/2012 11:31

If schools want homework word processed and they expect research to be conducted online then they have to ensure there are adequate facilities at school for those who not have them at home. This means after school homework clubs , preferably with homework club workers there who can assist in the way mum or dad would if the child were working from home.

DowagersHump · 19/09/2012 11:44

I agree with all of that bluebird - ensuring fair access is crucial.

marge2 · 19/09/2012 13:02

hah - we are waiting till our two DSs are MUCH older before we get an ipad. like after their A Levels can't afford an ipad now anyway

They trash everything nice and we can't get them off their 3DS without an argument as it is.

Galena · 19/09/2012 13:18

DD had an android tablet for Christmas last year aged 2.8. She now (aged 3.5) knows her alphabet, she can read independently, she can count to 100, she can spell phonetically... She can also hold a conversation, plays beautifully and imaginatively with her playmobil, loves jumping on the trampoline and playing on the slide...

Where's the harm?

HenriettaPootel · 19/09/2012 13:36

There is probably something to be said about the whole ownership/non-ownership thing. Maybe it's just my crap parenting, but I do find it easier to police the amount of time DS spends on the TV/computer/iphone because they're not his (probably the same reason that I wouldn't want him to have one in his bedroom). I also do think (without coming over too 1940s) that there's something in the idea of having to do without / save up for things / wait until your birthday. That doesn't rule out giving a child his or her own ipad, obviously, but we probably do all know parents who just buy their children everything they want straightaway, creating a sense of entitlement.

dyfunctionalme my point was that my mum hadn't thought through her dislike of technology. She was objecting to computer games being antisocial, and I was arguing that books are even more antisocial (lots of kids play at least some computer games together, so they can be very sociable). I'm not saying that books don't have other advantages over gaming - just that some people's objections to new technology are very kneejerk.

Kaekae · 19/09/2012 13:50

I agree everything is good in moderation. My 2.5 year old uses my phone to play games so does my five year old. My five year old uses my laptop to search on google, play games and even watches stuff on on tube. He also loves books and can use his imagination. I haven't bought him a laptop or ipad but he does use mine I don't see the point in having two ipads otherwise I suppose he would have his own. I don't get worried about what others do really.

giantosprey · 19/09/2012 14:07

Ive seen them used as young as 6. Arent they just modern technology?

Thingiebob · 20/09/2012 09:44

As I said before, my 2 year old has an iPad admittedly I mainly use it. We share it!

This idea that I will need to get bigger and better things to 'top' the iPad is silly at her age. For Christmas she is getting some inexpensive books, a toy car and big bag of assorted craft stuff as she loves collaging. I'm not planning on buying her a 'Ferrari' or anything goldplated...

merrymouse · 20/09/2012 10:08

Agree with henrietta about ownership - it's a bit like children having tv in their own room. Assuming your child spends a limited time on iPad why do they need their own? I think situation re: computers does change at secondary school when they are doing loads of unsupervised homework, but not when they are 9 and under. (excluding use of tech for SNs)

Galena · 20/09/2012 10:21

I think there's a difference between 'ownership' and 'unrestricted access'.

For younger children (like my DD, who had a tablet at 2.8) they might well have been bought mainly for the child's use, but the child won't have unrestricted use of it. We bought the tablet for DD - we don't really need to use it because we have smartphones which do pretty much the same, although we do use it occasionally. 90% of the apps on it are toddler apps which she enjoys. We also have 'Kids Place' on it which means she gets free choice of 'her' apps but cannot go onto the internet, change settings, download or delete things, etc. We take it with us when we think she may be bored and start creating... i.e. long train journeys, hospital appointments, etc. She then gets a max of about an hour on it.

I also disagree that future presents have to 'top' it. Last Christmas we bought her that because we knew she would enjoy it and get use out of it for many years. For her birthday she got a second hand trike. This year for Christmas she's getting Playmobil - because she will enjoy it and get use out of it for many years. Some is new some is second hand.

I think ownership is more pertinent with older children - if you buy a 7, 8, 9, 10 year old an iPad, it is more difficult to restrict usage as they have more understanding of ownership. As she grows up, I think technology items (laptop, tablet, etc) will be kept downstairs, rather than in her bedroom...

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