To think on the whole mumsnetters are kind and supportive?

[EverlongYouAreGoldAndOrange]

Been here years, I've seen loads of different types of threads but I think mostly posters are lovely, do give appropriate support, do look out for each other. I know there are some idiots about sometimes too.

Or am I delusional

I think the nest of vipers thing is because let's face it, sometimes it is!

Someone only has to word an OP badly and they're absolutely hammered. There's also many threads that make you want to bang your head against the wall because it's just a long line of people deliberately misunderstanding each other! But again, that's life.

MN is RL. We are all real people, using real words. Just because we're anonymous and the words are written instead of spoken doesn't make them less significant.

"Words on a screen" can be tremendously powerful, the good and the bad. I think we all need reminding of that occasionally.

Bottom line - Mumsnet is ace, end of. (despite that fact that it makes me want to set fire to the entire contents of my wardrobe)

Agree OP.

no they're all cunts except me

They are amazing and continue to be supportive long after a crisis has happened.

Shut it hully

Yeeees.....there are some very friendly people on here. But what gets up my nose a bit is the amount of back patting that goes on- "oh look how kind MN is, how we all band together to help strangers, haha they all call us vipers, as if!". It's like that every time there's a nice thread.

YANBU I have had much support from strangers on here but have also been put in my place when I deserved it.

It's like most other websites really. Some very nice posters; some really witty ones; and some rude downright nasty ones.
I agree with the poster above re wanting to bang your head against a wall when people deliberately misunderstand an OP and start going on and on and on at her. I think someone did a very funny thread on this a few years ago.

I'm with justfloatingby on this.

This is the one I was talking about re posters deliberately misunderstanding the point. I found it one day when I was googling something and began lurking on Mumsnet afterwards:

Have seen this several times on here of late. It usually goes something like this:

OP: I was at the supermarket the other day and I saw a little girl (about 6) shove a bag of crisps up her jumper and the mother just laughed and put her own stuff through the checkout. I was really shocked. Am I being unreasonable to think this was wrong and training her child very badly.

Respondent 1: What are you? The Tesco police? I suppose if it had been a tub of hoummus or a box of organic crackers, that would have been okay. YABU.

Respondent 2: YABU. You know nothing about these people. Maybe the mother has had a really really hard life and is living on benefits and suffers from a medical condition. And you grudge her one lousy packet of crisps.

Respondent 3: Actually, I sometimes let my dd eat a bag of crisps. Didn't realise I had to seek approval from all the other shoppers in the store first.

OP: No, no, sorry, maybe I wasn't being clear. It wasn't the crisps I was giving out about, it was the fact that she didn't pay for them.

Respondent 4: How do you know she didn't pay for them? Did you follow her all around the shop? Did you check her receipt before she left. YABU and need to learn to mind your own business.

Respondent 5: You sound like a total snob, not wanting to shop in a store with a chavvy mum who lets her kid eat crisps.

Respondent 6: This is why I hate shopping in supermarkets, with people constantly complaining about other people's children. Maybe I should leave ds at home in future so he doesn't annoy people like you.

Respondent 7: Well, I'm really sorry if children in supermarkets annoy you. Maybe we should only shop in the dead of night so you don't have to see them. I really can't stand these childhaters.

Respondent 6: Well said, Respondent7.

OP (horrified). Whaaat? Where did I say I hate children. I love kids, I have two of my own. This is ridiculous.

Respondent 6: Would you calm down. Who accused you of hating children? We're just pointing out that you need to be a bit more tolerant when using what is, after all, a public place.

Respondent 5: You sound jealous to me. Was the little girl prettier than your dd.

Respondent 4: Actually, I've just checked and this is only your second post and you have had the nerve to actually start a new thread . Are you sure you're not a journalist?

Respondent 3: Well, I've just checked the cupboards and they are bare. I was going to go shopping but I have a dd. Maybe it would be better if we all starved though, in case you're lurking around my local Tesco with your big judgy pants on, deciding what my daughter should and shouldn't eat.

OP: (Feebly) No, no, that's not....(voice trails away).

Respondent 8: Well, I wish other kids eating crisps was all I had to worry about. Try having a MIL who calls around and retiles the bathroom and puts the house up for sale when you've just popped out to post a letter. Honestly, that woman....

OP drops to knees, bangs head off floor and starts to weep quietly.

Blimey, just, that poor OP!

Everlong, YADNBU - but I do think it depends which parts of the site you are on. The advice areas (parenting, pregnancy, sleep, weaning etc) are absolutely amazing and I would have struggled being pg and with DD without them, I have had so much advice. However chat and AIBU can get a bit nasty sometimes. Or maybe nasty is the wrong word, but sometimes threads can get a bit heated and the OP can occasionally come in for a bit of a bashing, which if they are relatively new and don't quite get that AIBU, for example, is for people with a decently thick skin, it can put them off. You often see posters admitting that they got wrecked on their first AIBU, name-changed and then lurked for a while before plucking up the courage to come back (done it myself).

But on the whole its lovely.

I tend to stick up for the OP and get a right old bashing too

I would like to express my love for everyone on this thread, and any lurkers too

I think it depends where you post. I would imagine most threads, especially the ones designed for support are mostly positive. However, I do think that if you post in AIBU you should be ready to take whatever comes your way. I know this may be a controversial view but often AIBU posts could easily come under different sections where there is less likely to be a hostile responses.

For example, there's loads of 50 shades stuff on here and people getting all shouty about it but if the OP doesn't want people to disagree then stick the post in the section for literature/books.

I think mumsnet is great because it gives you a choice. It's not a nest of vipers at all. It's a bunch of very witty, intelligent people and a few fuckwits thrown in for good measure. Just like real life!

at Jusfloatingby

I've been on Mumsnet a year and have still not ventured into starting a thread in AIBU!

It is great to see virtual strangers offering advice, support, and sometimes a much needed kick up the arse to each other. Good to see the view that the internet is making us all more isolated being roundly contradicted here.

Sometimes the more effort you make, the easier it is to make more effort. I find if I've been thoughtful about something on here, then if something comes up in RL I am more insightful and can be more help. Also MN helps me see the other point of view at times - much easier when reading a thread you are not involved in personally than when it is a real situation in your own life!

Mumsnet does seem to have a bad name though. I think its the usual story of a few bad apples.
The vast majority of posters are perfectly nice, normal reasonable people. Within that group there are some people who are really funny and charming.
However there are a small number of other posters who either:

a. Strut and queen their way around the forum as if they own it;
b. Gather sycophantically around the above like schoolgirls with a crush on

the head prefect, ganging up on anyone who disagrees with them and
giving the strutter the illusion of popularity;
c. Growl aggressively at anyone who doesn't share their viewpoint and

carry a huge chip on their shoulder;
d. Are nasty little bullies and best avoided if possible;
e. Are total loons.

Unfortunately the above give the whole group a bad name, even though they are in the minority.
Bit like real life actually

You're right.

And also I find that in one topic you can be arguing with someone, but in anoter the same person can be offering advice and sympathy.

I do love mumsnet members. Some more than others of course

Respondent 6: Well said, Respondent7.

the whole thing! did you write it yourself?

I bloody love mumsnet yes you get the 'odd' one but on the whole people are just well lovely take the time to be supportive even if it is only a few lines , I 'heart' mumsnet

No quirrelquarrel. It's a post from years ago that I found when I was googling something else. It made me laugh and I started lurking on Mumsnet after that.

I think people in general are kind. Mumsnetters are people. It follows.

OK, I am going to admit that if MN was all hugz n huns, I'd get bored and bugger off.

Sometimes, the fights on here are really entertaining..

Hmmm. Some responses are clever, some are kind and others are both - but cruelty and insults are increasing, and are not dealt with much.

Maybe the Mumsnet Academy should launch a course on Internet Bullying - I can't think of better proven experts.