to think my DH is wrong in saying BF is not an emotional matter?

[Ecgwynn]

DH wants us to make a plan for weaning DS (currently 20 weeks) off the boob in a month or so. I want to get him off the boob so I can have my life/body back. DH wants to make a plan of action and doesn't understand that while I want to wean DS, I also don't want to when I actually think about doing it :( .

He says that I either want to do it or I don't and that without a plan it won't happen.

Why is he even getting involved?

I am dead inside not a very emotional person but if someone else wanted 'us' to make a plan for my tits then I may become rather brusque.

that would piss me off as well

Yes, what's it got to do with your DH?

And yes, I also think it's an emotional matter!

Cailin, why wouldn't the baby's father get involved in weaning ?

OP, YANBU but he just won't understand the emotional side of breastfeeding. Have you tried explaining it to him?

MrsH - because he can't dictate how the OP uses her own body. He might lend some support and make suggestions on how to make it easier but Ec said "he wants us to make a plan" and "without a plan it won't happen" which suggests he's not giving her much choice in how to go about it.

A MAN dared to have an opinion about weaning his own child? Disgusting. How very dare he.

Op if you've told him you want your life & body back he might just be trying to help.

Don't feel rushed into it though. You will have to try and explain it to him.

I can't see why the ire for him getting involved to a degree, it is his child and he is paying an interest.

But the OP has already said she wants to wean their baby - her DH is simply wanting to make a plan for it. If she wanted to carry on BFing but he didn't want her to, that would be different.

Sounds like the op has involved him already Cailin. And it's not his body but it is his baby. He's entitled to an opinion even if op dosent want to follow it.

To be fair OP wants him off the boob and presumably has said this to her DH, so why shouldn't he discuss what the plan of action will be?

Ffs how dare a father enquire as to the weaning of their (note plural) child?

Maybe op is 'right I want to do it'
Then 'no I can't face it'
Then 'argh I'm sick of bf and want my body back'
Then 'oh but I want to bf'

And DH is well 'we should make a plan' maybe sick of the indecisiveness?

I'd hate to be married to some of you lot

although taking it slow is best if you want to stop, i don't exactly see the need for a plan - and your DH doesn't need to be involved either. of course it is an emotional matter. you may feel different when you come to it, so want to approach at your own pace (and at a pace that is comfortable for your boobs - my baby has had a one day feeding slow-down and it is really uncomfortable)

YANBU. I find giving up breatfeeding horribly emotional. I'm doing at the moment and am racked with guilt, keep changing my mind and cry all the time. However I know (from experience) that in a week or so I'll feel clear-headed, sane and a lot happier (partly because I'll be able to take the medication that I can't take while breatfeeding...). Good luck with it OP.

Well the OP can clarify but from the sounds of it her DH is pressuring her to do it a certain way and implying that if she doesn't do it that way it won't work.

My DH helped with weaning DS but I was the one who controlled it as it was my body that was involved and DH couldn't predict when I'd be engorged etc.

Get a breast, get an opinion.Silly man.

why not DH involved ? - because she is doing the feeding, so this is 'DH as task master' not 'DH as consultee'

He says you either want to do it or you don't. Right, ok. Has he never heard about having mixed feelings about something?

I was thrilled to have my body back after so long being preg & BFing, and sad that the BFing relationship was coming to an end. So I both wanted to do it, and didn't want to do it.

Just be aware that if you do it rather quickly it can make you depressed (I never knew this until it happened to me, apparently it's a recognised phenomenon. Luckily in my case it was fairly mild & short-lived.)

I don't see him pressuring her at all! What are you talking about?!?!

He has suggested they discuss and make a plan of action!

Hardly pressure.

I think ops emotions are running away with her tbh

YABU, What's wrong with wanting a plan? So he can help you stick to etc? Maybe he is looking forward to helping feed the baby for the first time.

She has already involved the "silly man" by telling him she wants her life back for the love of god.

Cailin Think you confused my post with someone else's. Am with you all the way!

Presumably he would need to know what the plan was so he can crack on with the bottles, take over some feeds, be there for op of baby won't take a bottle from her etc?

I don't understand this 'why does he need to be involved' mentality. Errr because you are BOTH that babies parents

Ooops sorry MrsH that should have been MsVestibule

I don't think your DH is being an arse in having an opinion about feeding his baby.
He just has little understanding of the emotional aspects of bf.

He is defiantly BU by stating that bf is not an emotional matter for you.
No one has the right to decide what another person is allowed to feel emotional about.

I can understand him wanting to make a plan about weaning, however he should be supportive of your feelings about this.