To think sod you to people who don't like my over enthused parenting

[FrustratedSycamorePants]

I have officially turned into one of those loud over praising parents.

Just went to supermarket with dds, one of whom has a number of additional needs, forgot the mac major an couldn't find the trolley with the seat.

So I did the holding occasionally dragging dd by the hand, with loud over enthused praising every single time she did anything closely loosely resembling what I wanted.

Hanging of the trolley handle stumbling her feet was "well done dd, good walking, good girl, good walking." and similar ad infinitum all the way around the shop.

Aibu to say a mental sod you to anyone who hates the type of parent I have become?

Ps it was a very successful shopping trip and dd rewarded with icecream as zero meltdowns and I haven't been scratched or bitten

Praising is fine. Praising loudly is annoying. Praising excessively? Not sure about this. I read a couple of good pieces recently about how excessive praise for stuff children are perfectly capable of doing and indeed should be doing (obv age and ability dependent) makes children entitled and needy.

Thanks Seventh. You just linked one of them for me! This piece made a lot of sense to me.

yanbu. having a child with additional needs, you kind of have to make your own parenting rules. and with a child with receptive language delay, you do need to work harder to get their attention, and speak more emphatically, so can be a bit on the louder than average side.

i like specific praise.

'DD, well done for helping DD2'

or 'i like the bright colours' in her pictures.

on a bad day, i might go for something trivial 'DD1, you were very nice to DD2 getting out of the car'...

I think you chose a strategy that would work for you and your DD and in my book that doesn't count as loud parenting.

And to the poster who objected to parents teaching their DCs which is the best deal - whatever is wrong with that? Once they're in KS2 or above, it's time they started learning the skills that will help them not get ripped off by the supermarkets, i.e. spotting the deals where buying 2 of the same thing actually costs more, learning to check the price per 100ml/kg/other unit of measure because sometimes the size of the package is deceptive. Everyone needs to learn the basics of managing the economics of a household, after all.

You don't need to do it loudly, though.

YANBU

I used to distract my easily bored toddler on shopping trips by playing stupid games with singing in the veg aisle. He loved it and used to crack up, and it kept him happy instead of entering tantrum land. Got a few shirty looks and tuts from people but I just figured if someone playing with their child in Asda is really something to disapprove of then they had horrid no-fun lives anyway.

I'd much rather overhear a parent enthusiastically praising their child than shouting at them and threatening to give them a slap (as I have heard more than once during a shopping trip).

seventh i scanned that link for any evidence referenced, and found only hyperbole....

I don't care what other parents do in the supermarket. I know that my children are the best anyway

x-posts. i am slow tonight...

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with involving your kids in the weekly shop.

I am the grumpiest fucker outside of Yorkshire, and even I like to occasionally acknowledge my children's existence during the hour or so it takes to do a big shop.

Oh dear? 7y.o DD told me last week I was talking loud (general stuff- cant even remember what about)- I didn't even realise (I'm actually hoping she was just being over sensitive) hope I've not crossed to the dark side

Well, when I take DS (2) to the supermarket, he sits in the trolley and I get him to check the apples for bruises, count the potatos into a bag, choose between types of fruit, choose the pasta etc. I basically include him in the whole thing.

Then he helps to put things on the conveyor belt and hands the cashier the money, and takes the receipt.

I do all this because firstly he is interested in the world and I like him to learn about things and how to say thank you etc, and also because it makes the shop go a lot more smoothly. I have to say, I don't really know what the alternative is? I mean, he's right there - I can't ignore him, nor do I want to.

I'm not overly loud but also I am lucky that I'm in Australia and people are a bit more friendly towards children over here.

I did say upthread that there's nothing wrong with including your child in the supermarket shop, I don't 'object' unless it's a heaving supermarket, when I don't want to stand behind a Yr 3 maths lesson whilst trying to shop.

DS1 is now 13-he can get involved in the online shop.