To think sod you to people who don't like my over enthused parenting

[FrustratedSycamorePants]

I have officially turned into one of those loud over praising parents.

Just went to supermarket with dds, one of whom has a number of additional needs, forgot the mac major an couldn't find the trolley with the seat.

So I did the holding occasionally dragging dd by the hand, with loud over enthused praising every single time she did anything closely loosely resembling what I wanted.

Hanging of the trolley handle stumbling her feet was "well done dd, good walking, good girl, good walking." and similar ad infinitum all the way around the shop.

Aibu to say a mental sod you to anyone who hates the type of parent I have become?

Ps it was a very successful shopping trip and dd rewarded with icecream as zero meltdowns and I haven't been scratched or bitten

I think loud parenting depends on your intention. If you are doing it for the benefit of the people listening then yes, it's hideous!
But you were doing it to get through your shop with as little grief as possible, then who gives a flip what anyone else thinks
A family member ( who will remain unnamed ) is nightmare loud parenter, makes me want to rip my eardrums out with a pair of rusty tweezers
But that's just me

That's positive reinforcement, where you praise and point out EVERYTHING that isn't negetaive behaviours. We do this all the time. So I'm continually running on saying "nice walking, good listening, clever hand-holding", to help DS know when he is being good.

And well done you, no maj-mac and no seated trolly would have ment no shopping for me, brave you!

Do whatever rocks your boat but don't think the rest of us want to hear. Honestly, pipe down.

bamboo have you read the thread or just answered the title question?

Sparklingbrook Why on earth does it make you sad when parents try to involve their dc in the shopping trip and educate them in a meaningful way that has relevance to real life? I think the kind of thing you describe is far preferable to making dc sit down to a mind-numbingly boring workbook at home. Ds is learning to read and he often wants to read signs - how is someone who comes along mid-sound-out to know whether he wanted to read it or whether I have 'made' him? More to the point, why the fuck would they care or feel sad about it - unless he obviously didn't want to or the parent was being scathing of his attempts. It's hardly like yanking them off swings to read park signs is it?

Op, sounds like you did a great job of getting through what could have been a nightmare trip for you. I honestly have no idea why the sound of people talking to their children is so offensive to some people .

raffle no shopping would have meant no roast dinner food for me today. I usually try to avoid shopping with dds.

Have to point out that there is sometime a need to do it loudly, if loud is only just loud enough for dc to hear.

I don't know Lecce. I just think in a packed supermarket on a Saturday morning there is no need for a maths lesson on which deal is better or to get the child counting out the carrots. It takes up too much time, and other shoppers want to shop.

YANBU. There's nothing wrong with praising your child, and other people should mind their own business. I'd much rather hear you in the shop than someone really negative or surly.

Yes, making sure you're not in anyone's way has to take priority but your use of the made it seem as if you pity the dc involved- that was the bit I really didn't get. I suppose it's partly because where I live I see a lot of dc being ignored, sometimes shouted at or even sworn at and that all makes me far more sad than someone seeing the supermarket as the perfect place to practise a bit of real-life maths.

Oh no Lecce I didn't mean that at all. In a quiet supermarket it's a nice thing to do. Especially if you can still get them in the trolley seat. I used to do the 'shall we get the yellow one or the blue one?' pointing to the shelves.

I remember Supernanny always said to get the children involved and give them their own list each, and have them dashing round the supermarket. In an ideal world perhaps, or at 9am on a weekday.

Oh, and I did know a couple of Mums who did turn every outing into an educational experience. Weirdly always when I was around, so I assume it was for my benefit.

"Weirdly always when I was around"

How do you know what they did when you weren't around?

Tudor. This was the Mum who insisted on opening her DS's school report in front of me and reading it to me. And another Mum that would have my DS round for tea and test him on spellings and maths to see where he was compared to her DD.

sparkling me and my colleagues take children with special needs round supermarkets purely for all the educational opportunities it affords us! But usually one to one, and always in the morning so not busy.

It is great fun and the kids learn loads.

A few months ago I was on the bus going home from work when a woman got on with a fairly young baby lying flat in a pushchair. I think she must just have picked him up from nursery/childminder and maybe hadn't long been back at work after maternity leave. She talked to him all the way home, which was fine, but it was a bit loud, and I was just a little bit taken aback when she started singing about 20 verses of The Wheels On The Bus with actions - and I mean vigorous actions, jumping up and down at one point. The baby looked very much as if he was thinking 'In 17 years I can leave home...'

Loud parenting is always amusing. By all means, praise your child excessively but not everyone needs to hear it.

Unless it's 'You are such a good boy for eating the whole Greggs sausage roll, and drinking all the fruit shoot' crash.

Praising, fine; loudly, unnecessary.
But then again, i'm not the right person to ask as I have a severely low tolerance of strangers' conversations being forced on me because they're inane most of the time. Sorry, but there it is.

I always thought I might like to put the cover to my Complete WOrks of Shakespeare round a copy of say The Hungry Caterpillar my toddler was holidng whilst in the trolly as a bit of one upmanship to the Tuscan Oil type parent in the supermarket.

I bet you didn't loudly call her 'Cherub' though did you?

Unlike me, who was clearly having a brain to mouth crisis when telling ds2 to hurry up in the middle of the supermarket.

I could've said ' Come on ds2, hurry up, we have to get back home', but no. What I said was 'Come on cherub, hurry up etc etc'.

I don't know why I did it. I've never done it before or since.

I like to think I was doing my bit for the bored and moody of Tesco's, giving them something to snigger about.

What's wrong with cherub?

Nothing, crashdoll. In private.

In the aisles of my local Tesco's, 'tis a touch embarrassing.

I praise the hell out of DS. Mainly because my self esteem is ridiculously low, and I don't want him to feel the same.

And I would always rather hear a parent praising their child rather than bellowing at them.

Rufus and his Mummy are making me stabby

God this made me panic, DS is a Rufus, I started an immediate mental inventory of all occasions I could possibly have been loud and annoying in the past week and came up with loads

you can't praise them too much.

my kids don't listen unless it's loud.

DD1s teachers lover her enthusiasm. i like to think i reinforced whatever positivity was in her nature, through nurture.