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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to gift an unwanted contract phone?

68 replies

Bandwagonesqe · 16/09/2012 13:46

DH has a 16 yo who wants an iphone for his birthday next month. DH has hatched a plan that I should get one with my upgrade this week, unlock it and just give it to him with a payg sim. We are pretty skint, no way could we afford one outright or to take out another contract for him (I am against that anyway). Now, I'm not fussed about a new phone at all, my HTC is still an alright phone. What's bugging me is that if I don't upgrade to a new handset, my bill will be reduced by £12 a month for the next 2 year period. If I get the iphone it stays the same. So, in effect the iphone will be costing me over £250 in the long run, which of course I will be paying for. Not in my wildest dreams would I spend over £250 on a birthday for any of our own kids. DH says IABU. Am I?

OP posts:
iknowwho · 16/09/2012 13:48

Well it's something we have done.
But I normally spend about £250 on birthdays anyway so it wasn't a deal to me tbh. In fact it made things easier I suppose because I didn't have to draw that amount of money out.

apostropheuse · 16/09/2012 13:49

No you're not being unreasonable. Not at all.

Considering you're "pretty skint" then why should you not take advantage of reducing your phone bill by £12 per month?

Your DH is being unreasonable

Glittertwins · 16/09/2012 13:50

How long have you had your HTC? I had mine 18 months and the battery was definitely dying. DH had his 2 yrs and the battery had gone, it didn't even last a day. I would get yourself a new phone as it might not last much longer.

DowagersHump · 16/09/2012 13:51

£12 a month is a lot of money if you're skint

AThingInYourLife · 16/09/2012 13:51

YANBU

£250 for a 16 year old's birthday?

No chance.

dinosaurkisses · 16/09/2012 13:52

YANBU- never mind the outlay now, but if there's other kids in the picture surely they would be expecting the same value of present when their birthdays come around?

Original poster
Bandwagonesqe · 16/09/2012 13:52

I've had my HTC for 2 years and I've replaced the battery. I'm not a heavy user anyway and it's really just in my bag for emergencies, hence my lack of need for a new one.

OP posts:
iknowwho · 16/09/2012 13:52

Thinking about it we were in the same situation. I have had my HTC for a few years now and DS has a shiney new phone - He got it in August.

I really don't care. I'm happy with my phone. It does what I need and DS is happy with his so all is cool.

firawla · 16/09/2012 13:52

If you can't afford the 250 over that length of time then dont do it but do you pay your own phone bill or is it coming out from a joint account, cos if its joint account its less clear cut but if you pay it yourself then your word is final and dh should not be pushing it at all.
I think if you cant afford it and wouldnt pay that much for other dcs then it should still be a no though. Is there nothing else more affordable he would like?

MsKayGee · 16/09/2012 13:52

YANBU.

Don't do it. You may need the upgrade yourself if and when your HTC dies.

expatinscotland · 16/09/2012 13:53

YANBU. Tell him to buy the kid a used iPhone or go to Kays.

atacareercrossroads · 16/09/2012 13:55

Yanbu, no way. Get a reconditioned one off eBay or give him some money towards one.

Original poster
Bandwagonesqe · 16/09/2012 13:55

We have a joint account. There is a grey area in that our dd (aged 13) was gifted a BlackBerry by her very generous godmother a few months back so now I'm thinking DH is under pressure from DSS to have similar. Urgh, feel like the wicked witch here Sad

OP posts:
MsKayGee · 16/09/2012 13:59

But DSS has, or surely will at some point, be gifted things from his mums side of the family that your DD won't. That's life.

You can't spend your life making sure that every material thing your children/stepchildren have is completely equal. It just doesn't work like that in blended families.

AThingInYourLife · 16/09/2012 14:07

A gift from her godmother is irrelevant.

People in skint families don't get expensive phones for their birthday.

He's old enough to understand that.

As is your husband.

Original poster
Bandwagonesqe · 16/09/2012 14:09

See, athinginyourlife in principal I agree with this, but in reality I see lots of kids from far from wealthy families who seem to have everything. I know it's probably all on the never never though. Sigh.

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 16/09/2012 14:12

Yanbu

I think it would be unfair on the other dc to give it to him tbh.

£250 is a lot for a birthday imo.

iknowwho · 16/09/2012 14:13

Well off people don't necessary have everything on the never never OP!

I find that really annoying thing to say!

Original poster
Bandwagonesqe · 16/09/2012 14:15

Eh? I said people from not well off families iknowwho why would wealthy people have stuff on the never never??!

OP posts:
iknowwho · 16/09/2012 14:16

Sorry OP Blush

A bit of a sore point!!

SwitchedtoEatingCheese · 16/09/2012 14:36

I suppose it depends if you can afford it. 16 is a big birthday, I don't think 250 is an obscene amount to spend, particularly as you would be paying it every month and not in the one go.

Celticlassie · 16/09/2012 14:50

Does he get pocket money? Can you negotiate for him to pay the £12 (or some of it) himself?

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 16/09/2012 15:00

YANBU, an iPhone is a huge gift to get someone.

coppertop · 16/09/2012 15:03

YANBU.

You would end up resenting it every month that you saw the extra £12 go out of your account, especially as you need the money yourselves.

booksandchoc · 16/09/2012 15:07

It's not that simple anyway, if you get an iPhone, you will be put on an iPhone tariff which will probably me more expensive, and depending what network your with you may not be able to downgrade your tariff. It's too much IMO. He will only be bored with it in 6 months.