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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be pissed off about the seeming totems of being well off

59 replies

QueenofPlaids · 15/09/2012 22:58

Okay, I have been known to peruse the comments section of the Fail on occasion, but I've seen it creeping on here and also in real life, so I ask:

Why, when someone says they can't afford something, almost regardless of whether the something is a basic or a supposed luxury, is it then backed up by the:

"of course we don't have meals out, smoke, drink, have holidays abroad". IME holidays in the UK are no cheaper

Closely followed by:

"have Sky TV, two cars / a fancy car, gym membership & designer clothes"

It pisses me off no end. Now clearly, if you're skint, you're not going to have the above and that's fair enough, but if you"re just having to make choices like most everyone else why are meals out, holidays abroad and drinking seemingly the nadir of profligacy?

Could just be me, but I seem to see this often. (Whist the plural of anecdote is not data, I recently endured a lecture from a friend who is a sole breadwinner (bigger income, smaller mortgage) on why he couldn't possibly take his wife and kid abroad. Great, but he'd just bought 2 grand of Apple computer kit. Hmm This is not an isolated incident.)

OP posts:
IawnCont · 15/09/2012 23:00

Hang on, so people actually state that they have sky TV and two cars?
I have never seen that.

MrDobalina · 15/09/2012 23:01

I'm sorry, I don't understand what you are saying Blush

WorraLiberty · 15/09/2012 23:02

Perhaps he sees a 2 grand Apple computer kit as a better option, because unlike a holiday he gets to actually have it for more than a fortnight?

cinnamonnut · 15/09/2012 23:02

I think OP means that people also say they don't have sky TV and two cards

cinnamonnut · 15/09/2012 23:03

cars, sorry :p

Original poster
QueenofPlaids · 15/09/2012 23:03

I have never seen anyone state that they have Sky TV and two cars, but I have seen plenty state that they don't....

Apologies if not clear, it's rather the fact that they seem to bring up these specifics as things they don't have / don't do that is getting to me.

It may be one to many Daily Mail links Wink where every second poster seems to start with "of course we made do, don't have meals out...etc". I possibly need a media purge Grin

OP posts:
MrDobalina · 15/09/2012 23:05

you mean...what they are saying they have to 'go without' hardly indicates hardship?

Confused

you will have to spell it out for me...sorry...

WhatYouLookingAt · 15/09/2012 23:06

I have sky tv and 2 cars. I'm also pretty broke. I'm not sure I understand the point.

handbagCrab · 15/09/2012 23:09

Oh it's middle class stealth boasting isn't it. We don't waste our money on telly and hatchbacks, we waste it on organic veg boxes, private school or the stock market instead.

There's a good article about money on the guardian website at the moment. The 'squeezed middle' couple on over a 100k are a particular highlight.

Original poster
QueenofPlaids · 15/09/2012 23:09

Yup, reading back I wasn't desperately clear, it's not so much that people make choices, it's just that certain 'sacrifices' seem to be trotted out all the time:

"I don't have meals out, drink and take holidays abroad" seem to be the most common ones, when many people stating these do use substantial disposable income in other ways.

It's almost like a badge of honour iykwim.

Plus having been significantly less well off, I really dislike it when people whine about how they can't afford e.g. a better car, when it's entirely clear that it's their choice (and a perfectly legitimate one).

FWIW I drive an old banger, because it's not important to me. I could replace it tomorrow, but it's just not a priority

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 15/09/2012 23:10

I've had one glass of wine

Reading this thread is making me question whether I need more or less of it?

Fuck it I'll have another and see if the OP makes any sense then.... Wine Grin

IawnCont · 15/09/2012 23:11

I don't get why it would annoy you. It's just a way of outlining roughly the amount of money you're spending. We have one car, we don't go on foreign holidays (I can guarantee you that a week's camping ten miles from here is cheaper than a foreign holiday btw! :o ), we don't have sky... Why would me saying that get on your nerves?
Sorry, not being provocative, just genuinely wondering if I've missed the point...

ExitPursuedByABear · 15/09/2012 23:11

I have Sky TV and two cars as well.

Original poster
QueenofPlaids · 15/09/2012 23:12

handbagcrab I suspect you've articulated it far better than me Blush , it's exactly that.

OP posts:
MrDobalina · 15/09/2012 23:13

ok...got you!

yeah...i think some peoples definition of skint, is very different to others....like skint, but with £8K in a savings account?

doesn't bother me though....makes me yawn a bit, and stop listening probably....

Happybunny12 · 15/09/2012 23:16

handbag crab could you post the link to that guardian story? Had a look but couldn't see it- or just tell me the headline?

Pagwatch · 15/09/2012 23:16

I have not read the examples you describe.
I may be missing something I confess. But tbh you just seem chippy and your logic is hard to follow. It reads 'people with fewer problems that I deem worthy should never complain'

I may have missed something.

handbagCrab · 15/09/2012 23:17

Lol queenofp it's not often I hear that :) Ive had two glasses of wine and I understood you fine.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/09/2012 23:18

OP I get you. I have almost certainly been guilty of it myself.

It is only the same as threads you get on here with someone saying 'how the hell does my sister/neighbour/best friend afford xyz when they say they can't afford abc'.
We all have different priorities.

Original poster
QueenofPlaids · 15/09/2012 23:18

worra I've had two. Perhaps that had impacted my OP Grin

Will try again. I understand people make choices. I understand that people are stretched. I don't understand why every other bugger trots out the holy trinity of drink, eating out and foreign holidays as evidence of their going without when there are surely many other choices. These seem to be a badge of parsimony, at least in the circles I move in.

Perhaps I am moving in the wrong circles Wink

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/09/2012 23:20

But they are very visible, and generally acknowledged to be fun.

If you say 'oh we could only spend £20k on the new car, and we've had to cancel Jocasta's riding lessons' then people are going to be less sympathetic.

WorraLiberty · 15/09/2012 23:21

Ahhh I get it now - thanks Grin

Autumnalis · 15/09/2012 23:22

I don't quite get it either.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 15/09/2012 23:24

Bit confused. Well, a lot confused actually. But I think I see your point.

The people who say they dont holiday abroad but spend ridiculous amounts of money on other crap they dont need instead.

Its all relative. I consider us poor because every single pound is accounted for. But last month we werent eating.

Someone else might consider themselves poor because their pay only covers one night out a week etc.

It just depends on the person and what they use as markers of wealth.

YANBU to be pissed off though.