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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was this rude or do I have a massive chip on my shoulder?

57 replies

MomsNatter · 15/09/2012 21:31

I went to my friend's son's fourth birthday today. It was being held at her parent's house. Although I'm really close to my mate, i've only known her since we were 23 and her parents live the other side of the country so i only tend to see them on big occassions.

Her parents live in a manor house with large gates (which were open for party, of course). I drive a fairly old polo. I think these details are relevant.

So i arrive on time at the beginning of the party. Lots of other cars there. A man i've not met before comes out of the house while i'm getting stuff out of car and the conversation goes something like this (can't remember the exact words):
Man: Hello. Can i help you? I don't think we've met before.
Me: Hello, i'm momsnatter. (i'm getting my son out of the car)
Man: why are you here? (this bit i'm not sure about but i do remember replying...)
Me: i'm here for x's party.
Man: oh right i'm y, a friend of (hosts). The birthday boy's not here yet.
Me: oh right. Have i got the time wrong? (thinking this explains the weird questions).
Man: no, they're just running late.
After this he's ok and takes the present in for me as i've got lots to carry.

Now, i've been thinking about this a lot and the only conclusion i can come to is that he thought i couldn't be for the party as i didn't seem posh enough.

First: he was being quite defensive.
Second: it wasn't his house so why would he know me?
Third: IT WAS A PARTY.

I got the feeling he thought i could be a thief or con artist. Surely not right? All the other cars were a bit flash but surely people aren't so posh that they don't come across non wealthy folk.

And the hosts weren't using him as a meet and greeter as he didn't do this with the later guests (and they're not like that anyway)

So innocent explanation or have i just been mistaken for a chancer?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 15/09/2012 21:33

Hmmm

He could just have been socially incompetent or perhaps thought you were some hired help for the party?

squeakytoy · 15/09/2012 21:33

I think it might be your chip.. :)

He sounds like he was just being polite.

EverybodysDoeEyed · 15/09/2012 21:35

Maybe he thought you were confused and thought it was a national trust!

Bit odd of him. The wealthiest person I know drives a clapped out old car (he's probably spent more on repairs than a new Lamborghini would have cost).

PrincessScrumpy · 15/09/2012 21:35

Probably trying to be polite but has rubbish social skills! Grin Either that or he's a cock and not worth a second thought.... maybe he was trying to chat you up?

gordyslovesheep · 15/09/2012 21:35

chip ...sorry x

cheesesarnie · 15/09/2012 21:36

agree -your chip, him being polite.

he could have ignored you instead Grin

Chubfuddler · 15/09/2012 21:36

No I don't think you're being chippy. And I tell people on
Mn they are being chippy a lot.

Mind you most posh people I know have absolute bangers, so he sounds pretty nouveau if he thinks old car = poor.

DoMeDon · 15/09/2012 21:38

Chip - happens to us all Smile I think your own perception may have altered your view - massive gates/old polo/etc.

SavoyCabbage · 15/09/2012 21:38

I think he's probably just awkward. Some people can't do small talk. My dh is rubbish at it. He can't put people at ease or ask irrelevant questions or talk about the weather.

Loads of posh people have old cars.

omfgkillmenow · 15/09/2012 21:40

maybe he just assumed he would know everyone and was a bit unsure if you had been invited? He sounds a bit arsey to me.

Original poster
MomsNatter · 15/09/2012 21:40

Actually, i'd prefer it if i am being chippy. Felt pretty crap afterwards. I think it was the fact that he came oit of the house to say this so felt like i was being vetted before entering...

OP posts:
Kayano · 15/09/2012 21:42

Chip sorry Blush

LittleBairn · 15/09/2012 21:43

The "why are you here" bit is a bit rude when there was clearly a party being held, plus he wasn't the host so really shouldn't be questioning guests.

DoMeDon · 15/09/2012 21:45

Your questioning is another persons chatting to though Little - we're not all good at shit chit chat. I am notorious for it - never talk about the weather.

Original poster
MomsNatter · 15/09/2012 21:46

That was the bit i didn't get little. it was a four year old boys party and i was getting a four year old looking boy out of the car! Logical right?

OP posts:
CaliforniaLeaving · 15/09/2012 21:46

I think he was a twat and it made you uncomfortable.
Did you find out who he was? I'd probably ask my friend who he was and tell her he acted like you shouldn't be there. He was rude, but disguised it as being polite.

Floggingmolly · 15/09/2012 21:48

Did he really say "why are you here"? To a fellow guest? Hmm

Toughasoldboots · 15/09/2012 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaMumrOrangeTheGolden · 15/09/2012 21:48

Not very welcoming.

Kayano · 15/09/2012 21:49

Then the friend would be all... 'so he was polite, but you think he was really mean in disguise?' Hmm

I wouldn't say anything to friend but just be wary of him in future. Going to your friend to moan loads later is like telling tales to get someone in trouble for not a whole lot

Original poster
MomsNatter · 15/09/2012 21:49

Yes,California. He was a close friend of the family and a couple of things he said later did make me think he was a bit territorial about the family - so maybe it was just this.

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 15/09/2012 21:50

I think he fancied you and he was possibly hoping you were the nanny - so he could shag you later or date you etc

WorraLiberty · 15/09/2012 21:50

Dear god you don't just have a chip on your shoulder

It sounds like you've got the complete chain of Harry Ramsdens there Grin

Chill out, he was just given one of those poncey usher jobs by the sound of it.

Original poster
MomsNatter · 15/09/2012 21:52

My friend would be really upset about my being offended, resonably or otherwise, and feel guilty about it so, no, won't say anything.

Words to that effect flogging. i know he said something which meant i had to state exactly why i was there...

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 15/09/2012 21:54

At weddings people say "how do you know the bride?" which coming from some people would sound Hmm but from others delightfully engaging.