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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have sent this?

74 replies

janflan · 15/09/2012 16:26

Oh crap I've just sent a message to someone I've had a crush on for a while.

I haven't done anything about it because I've been in a relationship up until now.

However because he's part of exs social circle I'm unlikely to see him again. So i just sent him a message saying ex and i have split up and i don't want to lose touch with everyone.

I had to get his number off his website so I'm hoping i don't look like a mad stalker. He hasn't replied yet and i feel sick and am shaking.

Ex will go mad if he finds out so I'm hoping he doesn't. spread it around!

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 15/09/2012 17:11

If I received that message I would think "ok" and plan to save the mobile number (but forget). I wouldn't think it was a hint that they fancied me and I'd probably not respond because I would think it has gone to 20 other people and is a circular.

And would I want to date my mate's ex? Ermm no. Too much hassle. Unless I had secretly lusted after them for years.... Have they ever given you any indication they fancy you?

Original poster
janflan · 15/09/2012 17:14

You lot aren't giving me much hope:(

I would say he does like me at least a bit. A few comments and looks etc.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 15/09/2012 17:15

So you don't know that he hasn't got a girlfriend since the last time you spoke?

I'm not deliberately trying to piss on your chips here...I just don't want you to be totally disappointed as you do seem to be pinning a lot of hope on a reply.

RosemaryHoyt · 15/09/2012 17:15

I shall hold your hand. Am in similar circumstance, but ExH and the one that got away do not know each other. I know TOTGA loves me. It is an established fact. But he is too scared to get involved/hurt. Sent MSG last night asking him to meet up next week (not unusual) but a bit more cheery pissed than usual.

Not a sausage in response, he has a sixth sense. If i am anything other than glacial, he disappears. Serves me right for following bloody mother's advice re "men need a little encouragement" not this one, mother. Ah well I have been yo-yo'd by this commitment phobe long enough. After 11 yrs I should be well used to it.

Don't worry if he doesnt respond OP. He may just want dust to settle.

Pancakeflipper · 15/09/2012 17:19

I want him to text you JanFlan. But not sure there's much to go on.... Hope he's lusted after you for ages and is currently wondering how to send a cool like-he-is-not-that-interested, which will then send you into further spin on what you should say next....

Oh it could go on forever this.

Original poster
janflan · 15/09/2012 17:20

Thanks for the hand holding, hope he replies for you. Bloody men :(

Don't worry about pissing on chips I'll be ok whatever outcome.

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Original poster
janflan · 15/09/2012 17:22

I forgot to say i don't know that he's single. He's only had 1 girlfriend since I've known hi and he said he liked her because she was nice like me.

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 15/09/2012 17:24

Is he on FB? Can you 'friend' him or whatever the term is?

Ooh get me - stoking the fire of passion. Or stalking.

Original poster
janflan · 15/09/2012 17:27

I can't find him on face book i don't know his surname.

OP posts:
Original poster
janflan · 15/09/2012 18:11

My son just text me and i almost jumped through the roof!

Still no reply from crush.

OP posts:
Original poster
janflan · 15/09/2012 20:18

Still no reply :(

OP posts:
Matesnotdates · 15/09/2012 22:15

Any reply janflan?

I don't think i could cope with the stress of dating again!

Original poster
janflan · 15/09/2012 22:33

No still nothing :( all sorts of things going through my mind now wish i hadn't bothered.

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Original poster
janflan · 15/09/2012 22:37

No still nothing :( all sorts of things going through my mind now wish i hadn't bothered.

OP posts:
Matesnotdates · 15/09/2012 22:38

Don't worry - he can't interpret that message too badly, it's hardly a rampant come on.

Original poster
janflan · 15/09/2012 22:44

I'm still hoping his phone is off and he'll turn it on Monday or something. Oh well i tried not much more i can do it's up to him now to reply or not.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 15/09/2012 22:46

Seriously... he probably is not going to reply. He may be away on holiday, he may not even have that phone.

I wouldnt dwell on it too much.

WorraLiberty · 15/09/2012 22:47

He probably thought you sent the same message to everyone.

Don't worry about it.

PooPooOnMars · 15/09/2012 22:50

Hope you let a reply!

OwedToAutumn · 15/09/2012 22:54

Might his surname also be on his work website?

WorraLiberty · 15/09/2012 22:58

I know you said you were with your ex for 8yrs, but how long have you actually been split up from him?

Original poster
janflan · 15/09/2012 23:02

Thanks poo me too.

No surname on the website i did check.

I split up with ex just over a month ago.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 15/09/2012 23:06

Ahh I see not long then.

You might be better off concentrating on being you for a while...rather than thinking about another relationship.

Aspiemum2 · 15/09/2012 23:36

Well ..... 3 yrs ago I left my ex of 10yrs.

I had always felt something for a friend of his but assumed it would never happen

We got chatting on fb and turns out that he did indeed have feelings for me

Now we're married with twins GrinGrin

Ex wasn't happy but given the way he'd treated me and the kids I couldn't care less!

I hope your story is like mine, I've never known love like it Blush

Original poster
janflan · 16/09/2012 08:04

Thanks that would be nice glad it worked out for you.

I won't be rushing into anything. heavy too soon don't worry. Mind you he still hasn't replied so there's no where to rush to at the moment.

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