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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIU to force ds to take medicine? Feel awful about it.

88 replies

RoadrunnerMeepMeep · 14/09/2012 21:02

DD 6 has chest infection and been prescribed penicillin. At 6pm she refused to take it saying it made her feel sick, me and dh tried explaining how would make her better, she wouldn't get better without it etc. We tried bribing with ice cream, said we'd have to take her back to dr and he would make her take it, tried mixing it with juice so she would drink it that way but nothing. She flat out refused. An hour later I was ready to hold and force it down her throat which sounds awful I know but don't see what other choice there was? Either make her drink it or forget about having any medicine?

Dh wasn't keen on this anyway so he spent another hour trying to talk her into taking it. By 8pm I said to dh that I wasn't trying to be mean but that she'd had plenty of time and encouragement to take it so now wasn't going to mess around any more. Dh held her while I tipped it down her throat. She freaked out but only for about 2 mins, then she cuddled for a bit with us then went to bed with no problems. And she had medicine. However I feel like absolute shit for having to force her to take medicine and dh didn't help, afterward he said how horrible it was and he couldn't do that again. I felt really awful forcing her but can't help thinking I was being cruel to be kind. What does everyone else think? Was I being unreasonable/the worlds worst parent?

OP posts:
Original poster
RoadrunnerMeepMeep · 14/09/2012 21:03

Oops, tittle should have said dd, not ds!

OP posts:
KaFayOLay · 14/09/2012 21:04

Chest infections can be extremely serious, you did the right thing!

MoaningMingeWhingesAgain · 14/09/2012 21:05

I know it's horrible to do, but I would, and have, done the same.

It is not optional, she is 6 and does not get the choice to opt out of essential medication.

Hopefully she will allow herself to be bribed instead tomorrow.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 14/09/2012 21:05

DD is much smaller and I make her take medicine of she needs to. At 6, though, isn't there another way? Sheer bribery? Like you know she wants an expensive Lego set so she needs 16 doses to get it...

Would she take tablets and could you get them form the Dr?

MrsRobertDuvallHasRosacea · 14/09/2012 21:06

Not at all.
She is not a baby, you have tried to reason with her.
She has to have it. Otherwise she might get very ill.

TinyDancingHoofer · 14/09/2012 21:06

of course you did the right thing. 2 minutes of upset could save her days of illness. YWNBU.

heather1 · 14/09/2012 21:06

Yes you did the right thing. It would be much worse if she ended up in hospital with pneumonia or similar.
Hope she gets better soon.

Bobyan · 14/09/2012 21:06

I can't believe that you spent two hours arguing with her, your the adult not her.

Bobyan · 14/09/2012 21:06

You're

Catsmamma · 14/09/2012 21:08

you are in charge and she must take the meds...well done

I have always employed a brisk, stiff upper lip, mama knows best attitude for this sort of thing....often with a lovely treat as a follow up for being brave, but none of mine have ever had the option of refusing.

They even can swallow ENORMOUS pills, somehow I have taught them to do this without being able to swallow all but the tiniest tablets myself! :D

akaemmafrost · 14/09/2012 21:11

Dd had an op on her ear a year ago and we had to put antibiotic drops in afterwards. Quite simply we had to hold her down to do it Sad was awful but I think loss of or impaired hearing for life would have been worse.

scarlettsmummy2 · 14/09/2012 21:13

I have done this. It is incredibly stressful, but not as stressful as seeing them go downhill!

wigglesrock · 14/09/2012 21:21

I've done this with my 19 month old for most of today Sad, I have also done it with my 7 year old on occasion, the 4 year old seems to positively enjoy medicine! I have found that messing about with adding it to juice just prolongs the spluttering and "don't make me Mammy" Shock.

ModreB · 14/09/2012 21:23

YANBU. DS2 had a medical condition that meant that he had to take medication. I often had to hold him down to let Dr's do things to him that he didn't want, or give him medication that he didn't want. He is now 19yo, perfectly healthy but wouldn't have been without the treatment!

He says he remembers, but knew that I wouldn't have made him do it unless he had to have it.

CaptainVonTrapp · 14/09/2012 21:23

Give her the option of tablets. A phone call to the GP should sort out a new prescription if she's agreeable. Or seriously bribe her. But YWNBU.

numbum · 14/09/2012 21:26

Have you tried using a syringe? or giving her an ice pole to numb her tongue? But yes I've pinned my 2 down to give antibiotics before. It's not nice but it needs to be done

Sirzy · 14/09/2012 21:26

DS is much younger but has had a lot of chest infections etc and if he won't be bribed then I pin him down to do it. Much better option than the infection getting worse.

Original poster
RoadrunnerMeepMeep · 14/09/2012 21:27

I didn't want to spend 2 hours reasoning, I had enough messing around after 1 hour but dh didn't want to be mean so he carried on for another hour on his own. In myself I know I did the right thing but where dh was so kind and reasonable to her (which didnt help her take medicine) and making out I'd been really mean to force her afterwards made me feel crap. I look like the bad guy and makes me feel bad when I was just trying to do the right thing. I feel better everyone on here telling me they would have done the same.

OP posts:
TheEnthusiasticTroll · 14/09/2012 21:29

I would disagree that you should be doing it this way. My dd has some quite severe anxiety around anything medical and that is because I forced medicine down her. just offer it tell her about its importance and leave it as that, if she goes down hill in a dangerous manner she will recive medical attention, but I can assure you that on the whole children will bounce back from many serious infections and my dd is living proof of that and that is the advice I have been given from any dr. when I have discussed my dds refusal to take medicine.

I think you should go back to G.P and explain her refusal certain anti biotics can come in a fizzy pastle form. It may be better to introduce a reward for her when she takes it or a sanction if she refuses, but I wouldnt hold her down.

ChestyNut · 14/09/2012 21:30

You totally did the right thing. She's too little to understand what might happen without them do you did what was right for her.
2 mind of distress is better than a hospital stay etc.

DunkyWhorey · 14/09/2012 21:31

Look, its tricky isn't it. DS had a boil or sever spot on his nose (but at 5 its more likely to be a boil type thing) and it seeed to be getting bigger and bigger. He said it was sore etc. I was willing to let it go on its own; DH was encouraging me to take him to the walk in centre but deep down I think they would have told me to come back if it didn't go away of its own accord (might be wrong but had a lot on that week)...

So anyway separate story he "ran away from home" and I grounded him, but let him do a "deal with the devil" and I said I'd lift the grounding if he let me lance and squeeze it. So I used rubbing alcohol to sterilise a needle, put a smal incision (where he barely flinched), cut my nails nice and short and popped it with tissues over fingers. He didn't like it; he cried, it bled, I put Germolene and a blister plaster over it. Looked better already the next day; in the shower that night, it sort of looked ripe and ready to go a final time, so I did it with his consent, got a proper pop and crunch, very satisfying! Wiped with an antiseptic wipe, and some more germolene and its now barely there. I think I did the right thing; it wasn't going anywhere, DH was getting very stressed about it, it looked like he had 2 noses!

Sometimes you have to do what you have to do!

LaurieFairyCake · 14/09/2012 21:34

I think tomorrow you should just state she has to take it immediately and it will all be over, followed by biscuit/ice cream whatever but just state it matter of factly and follow through immediately

I genuinely think she is more likely to remember the distress from saying no for 2 hours than it done quickly.

{{{hugs}}} though, it's horrible.

Mrsjay · 14/09/2012 21:37

IT isn't nice but it really has to be done there is only so much cajoling you can do TBH she needs the medicine she wont take it you have to give it ,

Mrsjay · 14/09/2012 21:38

I had to hold down DD1 when she was little to take her inhalors well not hold her down but very tightly on my lap, It is a dreadful feeling ,

apostropheuse · 14/09/2012 21:41

You did absolutely the right thing. I've had to pin my children down to give them medicine several times. I regularly had to pin my son down onto an x-ray table, aided and abetted by a nurse/technician, to have his hips x rayed. I also had to pin my daughter down to get a cannula in when she was hospitalised for a week with an infection because the oral antibiotics didn't work. You really don't want it to get to that stage.

I'm not sure if this will help, but one time my son was in hospital and was point blank refusing to take anything. They wrapped him in a bed sheet and kind of swaddled him like you would a baby then got the medicine down him without him knocking it out of his hands.

Some things just have to be done. She won't be scarred because of it!

Good luck with her next dose.