Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To wish that drivers wouldn't wave kids across the road.

26 replies

Sassybeast · 13/09/2012 17:19

I'm trying to teach the kids to cross the road safely and having people slow down to wave them across just confuses them and is potentially dangerous.
I know people are being considerate and I appreciate the gesture but it makes it really hard to teach kids about road safety.

I've just refused to cross and waved the driver on (was perfectly pleasant and smiley) and got a charming 2 fingered salute

OP posts:

Kewcumber · 13/09/2012 17:23

I have taught DS (who is six) to wave them on himself - not many people have the urge to "salute" a 6 yr old!

BrainzYum · 13/09/2012 17:24

"Did you see that driver waved to say we could cross. That was very kind of them. We still need to check for other traffic. Nothing coming. Walk quickly. Keep looking and listening. And wave to say thank you."

Nope, not confusing.

flowery · 13/09/2012 17:24

On our way to school there is a road with an island halfway and if people didn't wave us across both sections quite often we'd be there all day as its busy, especially that time of day. I'm always very grateful, and I do the same if someone needs to cross and it's busy.

flowery · 13/09/2012 17:25

Yes what brainzyum said, that's how I approach it with DS1&2

Machadaynu · 13/09/2012 17:26

I don't mind the drivers who wave - I explain "this man/lady is letting us cross, let's check the other way" etc.

I get annoyed when we're waiting for the green man and someone else just crosses regardless though!

TheEnthusiasticTroll · 13/09/2012 17:26

I dont think it is at all confusing, you can either check aqnd cross if the other side is safe or wave them on if it is not, the children are still learning the same skills.

CurlyKiwiControl · 13/09/2012 17:28

YANBU - I totally understand... Its confusing.

However I can see why its a nice thing to do, and people wouldn't necessarily think they were doing a bad thing.

If I do it, I stop totally so you can say "its safe to cross because that car has stopped"

Its hard if they just slow down, as a small child can't really tell the difference between a slow moving car and a normal moving car.

That car driver was bloody rude!

littlebluechair · 13/09/2012 17:29

It never occurred to me this was a problem, they need to learn to deal with it so better you teach them than not, I don't get why it is confusing?

Original poster

Sassybeast · 13/09/2012 17:33

The confusion arises when the driver doesn't wave to indicate their intent, or make eye contact. It just seems to have happened an awful lot lately - which is why it's more of an issue
And I do explain that it's okay to cross because the car has slowed

OP posts:

CurlyKiwiControl · 13/09/2012 17:34

machadaynu I really hate that!

I had an incident with a man who yelled at me once as he was crossing while we were waiting for the green man "you can cross you know" "no we are waiting fir the green man" "fucking stupid cow, what? You can cross, CROSS, what the fucks the matter with you? Fucking women!"

squoosh · 13/09/2012 17:34

I get annoyed when we're waiting for the green man and someone else just crosses regardless though!

I do this all the time. Never occured to me I'd be getting evils from people teaching their kids the Green Cross Code.

complexnumber · 13/09/2012 17:36

As a child, I was knocked down at a set of lights.

I was standing at the central reservation, a lorry pulled up at a red and waved me through, however the car in the next lane couldn't see this gesture and pulled up a few feet ahead of the lorry. He hit me, probably only doing about 10 mph, but it still threw me into the air (no injuries though)

I've never considered the lorry driver or the car (it was a Jensen!) driver to have been at fault.

Just an accident.

Yokel · 13/09/2012 17:37

It's potentially very dangerous for car drivers to stop to wave pedestrians across the road, not least because they might themselves be overtaken by a cyclist/moped etc who hasn't seen this interaction.

CurlyKiwiControl · 13/09/2012 17:38

I suppose the confusion arises around age ... Older child okay, my 4 year old I prefer to err on side of caution and teach only if a car has halted then its safe ...

Eg sometimes drivers slow if they see children at side of road, they are not necessarily letting you over, but being cautious in case one darts.

CurlyKiwiControl · 13/09/2012 17:41

I would like to clarify that if I stop, its only if its safe ... On a residential street for example, where there is no chance of someone overtaking, no car close behind me, nothing coming other way etc

ForkInTheForeheid · 13/09/2012 17:41

Totally agree with you, some idiot waved kids across the road the other day without checking to see that I was actually coming the other way (and so he was waving them right into my path). Of course I stopped in plenty of time but even so people should really realise that they're not being helpful, but putting children at risk.

lottiegarbanzo · 13/09/2012 18:03

It can be really dangerous for the reasons yokel and fork have explained. People do it to other cars too. I remember seeing a family friend who's a policeman and had had to deal with the horrible aftermath of someone waving a car into oncoming traffic because he couldn't see all parts of a junction.

You can only cross when you have established yourself that it's safe, I think that's the essential message. On some roads you can do that when someone stops for you.

FriedEggsAndHam · 13/09/2012 18:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EmmelineGoulden · 13/09/2012 18:20

"I would like to clarify that if I stop, its only if its safe ... On a residential street for example, where there is no chance of someone overtaking, no car close behind me, nothing coming other way etc"

There's not a lot of point stopping in this situation. If there's no traffic behind you or coming the other way it's often quicker for everyone if you continue driving and let people cross behind you.

I don't think it's wrong of drivers to slow down to let people cross, in fact it' very considerate. But for very young children it's not the safest way for them to learn to cross the road because they can't judge a driver's intention so well nor see if other cars are following suit. It is a shame a small percentage of drivers don't seem to be able to cope with pedestrians who wave them on.

germyrabbit · 13/09/2012 18:35

i only stop if it's safe and not busy, to be honest i think it's a bit grim if we cannot stop and let a fellow human cross safetly. i guess it's okay if the roads are well provisioned with crossings etc but many are not and children (alone) do take risks. it's easier to stop and let them cross

littlebluechair · 13/09/2012 18:49

Well, yes as a pedestrian or other driver you make your own checks for general safety and don't just blindly follow a wave but it is nice if people stop, I've struggled many times crossing at roundabouts and if no-one waved me through I could wait for many minutes.

spoonsspoonsspoons · 13/09/2012 18:56

YANBU - it's surprising the number of people who try and wave you across when there's more than one carriageway. They get quite irate when you refuse to cross because theirs someone travelling in the other lane.

Ephiny · 13/09/2012 19:07

Yes you definitely need to check if it's safe even if someone has waved you across - but this probably needs reinforcing for children, if they're used to the mindset that if an adult is telling them to do something it must be OK.

TheOriginalNutcracker · 13/09/2012 19:16

When I was at junior school, a bus driver waved a school girl across, only for a car to come from behind the bus and knock her over. Luckily she only had a broken leg, but it could have been much worse.

CurlyKiwiControl · 13/09/2012 19:18

Well there is a point, its called being nice, polite. Mostly people smile and wave a thanks. If someone is peering from between parked cars for example and I see them in plenty of time and im going slowly anyway, i will stop and let them cross (of its safe to do so as outlined above)

same as i sometimes pull over to let another car past, even if its my right of way. Just being nice y'know, spreading the cheer. Usually gets a smile. Makes a change from all the aggressive driving you see.

Same as sometimes if im going through a door and notice someone coming who's not quite there yet, I'll wait a small time to pass the door, rather than letting it shut. I don't have to but its nice to do so :)

Flip

1 2