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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to sometimes hate my kids

43 replies

ponytails · 13/09/2012 12:55

ok well hate is a strong word but sometimes they really grate on me and i wish i could have my old life back
please tell me the crying and tantrums eventually stop and you can go out without it being a full scale operation
i actually want to go to work!

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/09/2012 12:58

Yeah, not liking your thread title but I get where you are coming from

I sometimes say to DS I dont aways like you but I always love you

Would never want my old life back though, the good things with having my DS far outweigh the bad.....mind you, he is 10 now so there isnt really any bad!!

charlottehere · 13/09/2012 12:58

Yabu to use the word hate. Yanbu to find dcs hard. Is work an option?

charlottehere · 13/09/2012 12:59

How old?

TroublesomeEx · 13/09/2012 13:01

If you are genuinely feeling hate towards your kids it might be time to get some help/support.

When DS was younger I missed parts of my old life, but I don't really think I'd have wanted them back really.

I wouldn't use a word like that even in jest.

numbertaker · 13/09/2012 13:01

put them up for adoption.

Original poster
ponytails · 13/09/2012 13:02

hi, i realised after i posted it seemed very harsh
betty - like that phrase I dont aways like you but I always love you

work is not an option at the moment as being made redundant in December

they are 2y 2m and 4m

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/09/2012 13:03

it's good isnt it...my mum always used to say it to me.

Sometimes my DS used to say, you hate me dont you?? To which I also reply, I dont hate you, I hate the way you behave sometimes.

It does get easier eventually :)

TroublesomeEx · 13/09/2012 13:05

2 years, 2 months and 4 months (is that even possible?!)

No wonder you're tired!

SillyBeardyDaddyman · 13/09/2012 13:08

Wow! Only 2 months between babies! Short pregnancy...

queenofmeringue · 13/09/2012 13:11

Hmm...I liked mine more at that age....(sorry)

amck5700 · 13/09/2012 13:12
  • it's the behaviour that you hate not the child. :)

It is tough when they are little and you expect everything to be perfect and you feel that you should be loving it. I have 2 boys 13 months apart - it does get better honestly.

PiedWagtail · 13/09/2012 13:12

Ladies - one baby aged 4 months and one toddler aged 2y 2m Hmm Don't be silly!

charlottehere · 13/09/2012 13:13

Its super hard having 2 very young children. Do you have any support, partner family etc?

TroublesomeEx · 13/09/2012 13:13

OH!

charlottehere · 13/09/2012 13:15

Grin at folk

Original poster
ponytails · 13/09/2012 16:25

charlotte - dh works long hours so most of the time hes up before them and back after bed time when hes off he helps. all the family works
just being around the all the time gets to me, will get better when the oldest goes to school (i hope)

OP posts:
dietstartsmonday · 13/09/2012 16:31

hmm wait till the teens arrive!

TroublesomeEx · 13/09/2012 16:42

I agree Monday.

OP, I'll swap your 2 year old for my 13 year old who's just come home with his arse in his hands over something or other!

flow4 · 13/09/2012 16:45

Of course YANBU. You feel what you feel. And kids are hard work. They get easier at about 3.5 and harder again at about 13, ime... Wink

TroublesomeEx · 13/09/2012 16:47

When do they start to get easier again, flow?

Mine's pretty good most of the time but when he's being a pain, boy is he a pain!

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 13/09/2012 17:02

25 FolkGirl. That's when I stopped being a bitch teenager.

Inneedofbrandy · 13/09/2012 17:04

I personally can't wait for the teenage years...

2 very young children is hard, mine have a 17 month age gap, its fucking hard. Get out everyday can you get a babysitter one day a week? Can you afford a childminder if that's not an option?

I had mine in a routine, both in bed at 6pm, I needed my evenings to keep my sanity.

It does get better, there both in school now, my house is clean and tidy and I'm not a stroppy shouty cow anymore.

Sandydunes · 13/09/2012 17:19

ponytails I have almost the same age gap as you and today has been a hard day in a hard month. I started the day almost in tears from sleep deprivation and have had tantrums, hitting, food throwing. Add in a baby who cries every time I set her down, a messy house, and the result was a very frazzled me.
its so overwhelming and I sympathise with you. I'm sure you don't hate them, its the exhaustion talking.
However...The it has calmed down now. baby has settled in the bouncy chair (for now) my husband has taken the oldest outside for some fresh air and playtime to burn off that toddler energy. I almost feel refreshed now and ready to tackle dinner and bedtime. Looking forward to a cuppa in my pjs later though. hope you're feeling a bit better now.

NineCrimes · 13/09/2012 17:22

Nah yanbu. I have 4dc, first two have an age gap of 14 months, other two, 16 months. They are now 7,6,3 and 2 but I remember having a newborn,1, 4 and 5 year old! It gets easier trust me. Though admittedly getting rid of the fifth child (stbxh) really made things easier! Grin

Longdistance · 13/09/2012 17:37

I know where you're coming from.

My dd's have 21 months between them, nearly 3, and 14 months, and on some days when things are awful, I'd like Scotty to beam me up........to my old life.

I used to be fun, dress lovely, always had money, slept, had no worries. I'm now a miserable cah, who can't sleep, and worries about everything, and most of all, bored.

My dd1 is the hardest work, as sometimes I don't even know dd2 is there. We do lots throughout the week, and the oldest is in daycare 2 days.

But, I do love them both.