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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Women who let their hair go grey

836 replies

CJ2010 · 13/09/2012 10:36

I don't understand why women, except the very old, say age 70 plus do not cover their grey hair?

I know a couple of women who have just turned 40 who are letting their grey come through and are just leaving it. It makes them
look so much older and washed out. I don't understand it really. I appreciate that some women are into the 'natural' look and are not fussed with make up and hair dye but I think by not having colour on your hair you age yourself dramatically.

Grey hair looks so wrong on younger women. AIBU?

OP posts:
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5
Lymmmummy · 15/05/2017 17:44

Each to their own

As PP said some people go grey from a very young age say teens to mid twenties by the time these people reach their 40's they may be completely or majority grey. Often they are dark haired and the maintenance required to keep colour in their hair is enormous eg dying every 2 weeks. Not everyone has the time money or inclination to do this

Like I say it's easy to say if at 40 you just have one or two greys that can easily be dealt with but some have real problems with grey

AmberStClare · 15/05/2017 17:44

Having some grey hairs has meant i no longer have to streak my hair blonde in the summer. Saves putting shite chemicals on my hair and no roots - win win in my book.

RevEm · 15/05/2017 17:46

Perhaps some women just want to embrace who they really are....

There's real beauty in a natural and confident woman.

Personally, I'm ginger, going grey is great...as I grow older I'm growing blonde!

chestylarue52 · 15/05/2017 17:46

If there is anyone who truly believes that facial hair is acceptable to leave untreated they have no self respect at all.

This makes me laugh, and I kind of enjoy the fact that there are people out there that are judgey and disgusted by my facial hair. I have dark bushy eyebrows and long sideburns and chin hair.

My lover thinks it's sexy. My career hasn't suffered. My friends have never mentioned it.

Me liking my facial hair is kind of the epitome of self respect.

Annierocks · 15/05/2017 17:46

Just got back from hairdressers.Just had a cut this time and I am seriously considering just letting my hair go grey.Cannot afford money or indeed time to maintaining my locks. Now not sure about it🤔🤔🤔 will open bottle of wine and consider

MommaL · 15/05/2017 17:46

Dafuq has it got to do with you what anyone else does with their hair/body.

beautygal29 · 15/05/2017 17:55

I personally think it's on trend to be grey right now for all ages. I also have older clients that are grey but like to change the tone with different shades of grey so it doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't dying their hair that way!

TeresaEdPsych · 15/05/2017 17:56

Would love to be able to dye my hair. Grey is arriving, unfortunately I can't tolerate the dyes. My hairdresser has tried. Too quick to judge, try not making untested assumptions about others.

TheScottishPlay · 15/05/2017 17:57

I'm mid 40s. Have been greying since I was around 25, fully grey by 30. I dyed my hair for years. Now I'm mostly happy to be grey and reach for the Bleach London when I fancy being pink or lilac or green for a day or two.
Growing out dyed grey hair looks hideous and very ageing. Spend the money on the cut and conditioning treatments.

GrumpyGreta · 15/05/2017 17:58

YABU
I'm 35 and have quite a few grey hairs. I just cba with hair. The thing about dying hair is once you start you can't just stop without a period of half dyed hair.
It gets cut maybe once a year at a salon (Although I do occasionally do it myself, much to my hair-dying, salon perfect haired mother).
I also don't mind about getting or looking older.

clangers72 · 15/05/2017 17:59

Has it occurred to you that some women have no choice, I currently have grey hair as unable to dye it as going through chemo. Would hate to think people judge me on my grey streaks.

damewithaname · 15/05/2017 18:08

I'm on the opposite end right now... I have dyed my hair black for 15 years. I have natural auburn coloured hair. For fifteen years, I've had to retouchange the roots every two weeks. To maintain the regrowth look. 6 weeks ago, you won't believe this, but I shaved my hair off to a no.2. I left my hair to grow three weeks with regrowth and the shizaam. For six weeks, people have starred me down in the malls... my hair has grown rapidly by using coconut oil and castor oil every second night. And it's startingrid to feel so soft and lovely again. Grey hair, no grey hair.. whatever works for you 😊

ILoveDolly · 15/05/2017 18:10

Blah ha ha ha ha.
Oh wait you aren't joking, you genuinely think it's OK to be shocked that women don't hate themselves enough to do everything they possibly can to pretend that aren't who they are. You are one of the problems with our society.

allwomanR · 15/05/2017 18:15

Why does it matter if women look older?!!! Do you think the same of all those blokes with grey hair and beer bellies? (Sorry if I missed the 'AIBU why don't men just dye their hair and do some ab crunches, it's such an easy anti aging tool' thread)

exaltedwombat · 15/05/2017 18:17

Natural is fine. No makeup is fine. No perfume is fine. Stop oppressing yourself. Men aren't doing it, 'society' isn't doing it, YOU are doing it.

Craigie · 15/05/2017 18:18

Who gives a fuck what other women choose to do?

missdebaroo · 15/05/2017 18:19

Because maybe just maybe they do think they look good!! And at the end of the day what they think about themselves is worth a lot more than what anyone else thinks.
This thread is so stupid!! Natural beauty is an amazing thing.

Spoog1971xx · 15/05/2017 18:20

Are you a troll?
I bleach mine white and apply manic panic grey.
Do you think women should wear high heels too?

Sparklingbrook · 15/05/2017 18:20

Ooh a 5 year old thread about grey hair. Confused

JanetBrown2015 · 15/05/2017 18:21

Well said allwoman. It makes me so grateful to my parents - who brought us up as intellectuals with careers never mind with religious/spiritual values which endure. My looks are a tiny part of who I am. I am so glad every day that I have so much in my life that how I look does not matter. I tend not to look in mirrors and I just about always wear the same clothes so I don't have to think about what to put on. Works for me.

Jenni2legs · 15/05/2017 18:22

I dye my hair unnatural colours to stop getting bored - it's curly so it's hard to play with the style. I don't do it to look another age.

AppleCiderVinegar · 15/05/2017 18:25

You've been given quite a few answers to your question OP: dyeing hair is expensive, time consuming and for some women irritates their scalp. Grey looks great on some people, some people like it and want to embrace aging rather than fight it.
Which bit don't you understand?

GoatsFeet · 15/05/2017 18:25

If I don't wear make up and a decent bra, wear flat shoes except for trainers or see a thread of grey I just feel Meh. I can do anything with my make up on, my myriad of highlights and low lights, and some sassy heels. If there is anyone who truly believes that facial hair is acceptable to leave untreated they have no self respect at all.

You know, @exConstance I have respect for myself through who I am, what I do, what I contribute, how I care for others, and just - well, just for being alive and trying to live lightly in this world.

I think it's sad that women are conned into spending time, thought, energy and money on their outward appearances.

Just IMAGINE what women could achieve if they spent even just half that time & thought & money on achieving, learning, doing? And even sadder that other women say things to them like this If there is anyone who truly believes that facial hair is acceptable to leave untreated they have no self respect at all

Louise53 · 15/05/2017 18:26

The reason you think this is because you are not very bright and don't have enough in your life you keep you occupied. What people do with their hair is up to them, time for you to get a life. Hope you succeed!

Missolford33 · 15/05/2017 18:28

Since my teenage years Iv never been a fan of dying my hair but at 36 nearly cried when I seen my first grey hairs... mines is now died to match my natural colour. I wouldn't be leaving it because I do agree it makes you look older but can't wait until I am actually old and I can be pure grey and don't really care what others do with theirs.