to be pissed off about friend sharing my pregnancy news?

[attheendoftheday]

Not sure if IABU, but suspect I might be being a bit petty over a small issue.

I am currently pregnant with dc2. I had a couple of early bleeds, so was hesitant about telling friends and family too early about the pregnancy in case the worst happened (we told our mums but not others). Luckily everything seems OK and we've started telling people as and when we see them.

I have an old friend from uni with whom i'm close, he was one of the first people we told. His partner, it turns out, is also pregnant and due at nearly the same time as us - brilliant news. However, I've just found out that he has rung up most of our mutual friends to tell them about their pregnancy, and has at the same time told them all about my pregnancy too. We are having a get together of our friends from uni next weekend and I was looking forward to telling people myself, and I feel really upset that he's done this.

So, AIBU to be upset about this? Is it just my pregnancy hormones? I asked him about it and he said he thought it was 'public knowledge', clearly didn't think it was a big deal. I ended up saying "but it was my news" in a petulant tone like I was all of five years old. Am I the only person who'd be upset by this? Neither my friend or my dp can see why I am.

You put it in the public domain. It's rather silly to expect nobody to mention it to anyone else.
Have you never told someone someone else is pregnant? Bet you have!

I can kind of see your point, but I can equally understand why not everyone would (sits on fence). Just enjoy telling people who don't know, you'll still get big congratulations when people see you in person.

I preferred telling people myself so I see your POV. Having said that if you didn't ask him to keep quiet I can see why he thinks he was OK to do it. Also mutual friends so he probably thought they were Ok to know. It was your special news but it's not worth hanging on to. Laugh it off when you see him if you can.

I understand. I had a friend who blabbed to everyone as well. However, she's nice so I just forgave her. Life is too short. Congratulations

OK, I can accept IABU

Personally I don't tell other people's pregnancy news, but perhaps that's a social rule I made up in my head rather than the norm. Does it help my case that he told me about their pregnancy earlier than he told the rest of our friends and I told no one?

My friend is a good friend and I will undoubtedly forgive him, but laughing it off may be beyond me (I'm blaming my pregnancy hormones for probably being more upset than I should be about this).

A gentle yabu especially for your second pregnancy.

But good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. And he was probably just very excited at the lovely news.

I am keeping my own council about someone. My DH got told drunkenly by his friend. The DWTB will be livid if she finds out so shhhhh.

It shows you are a trustworthy and discreet friend but it doesn't reflect badly on him. I agree about the pg hormones

YANBU at all, but just forgive him now and enjoy telling those who don't yet know.

Congratulations!

Bugged, I hate being the unreasonable one!

I wanted everyone to agree with me!

Now not only do I not get to tell my friends myself about the pregnancy, I can't be in a huff about it either.

Poor me

I don't think YABU, I just don't think he is either

Huff away

I don't think YABU- it's your news, it should be you to tell it!

If you want to be the only one to tell the news you have to say "I am pregnant but don't tell anyone else because I want to"

If you didn't say that then YABU to be upset.
Congratulations though!

I don't think you are BU, but I've always asked before telling other people of a friend's pregnancy. But not everyone is obsessively discreet...

I'm sure he was just excited by the happy news so try not to be too tough on him.

Congratulations on the baby

YANBU. I was annoyed when a friend (and colleague) told another colleague about my 2nd pregnancy. I would always check with somebody whether they were OK about me spreading the news. Telling people you're pregnant is really exciting and I'd be quite pissed off if somebody took that away from me!

You have my permission to be in a huff for a while . And congratulations!

I dont think YABU at all. The same thing happened to me.

And I had to ask a certain person not to put my babys weight and name on fb when he was born, as I noticed he was doing this with other friends babies.

So not ok.

However, people are right once its out in public thats it. I really know how you feel though.

It sounds like your friend is really happy to become a dad, and is also happy about your DC2.

Sounds like he's rather excited and over shared, but it's not worth being angry over.

However I'm like you, rarely would I share a friends pregnancy news with other mutual friends, just in case they hadn't had the chance to tell them first. I think it's always the general rule not to say, just in case it's a secret for whatever reason.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. Hope it is trouble free for you.

Did you ask him not to tell anyone? Some people do need to be told directly.

ps. I would never tell anyone about a pregnant friend though. It is thier announcement and I have some tact.

Yanbu. We only got to tell my family and MIL about my pregnancy, as we went from in law to in law to tell them they congratulated us before we'd even said anything :( it must run in DPs family because we told his aunty (my boss), and as soon as I hit 12 weeks and went to work that day everyone congratulated me we hardly ended up telling anyone :(

Well it´s hardly as if he rung up people deliberately to tell them, is it?

Once you tell someone, that´s it, isn´t it?

Congratulations!

Information is property and he was wrong to tell people about your good news. I'd have been very annoyed if anyone had blabbed about my pregnancy before I'd told anyone myself, they want the glory of sharing the news and it's very selfish.

Information is property

What? poppycock.

She WAS telling people, he was not the first or only person she told and she should have told him to keep his trap shut!

If information is property, gossip would be extinct and where's the fun in that?

YAsooooooNBU! The same thing's just happened to me, I've been telling friends as and when I tell them but with the caveat "it's not public knowledge yet so keep it under your hat." Most have kept to that, however at school pick up today 3 people came up and congratulated me - having been told by the same person. I only told her this morning so she's been pretty quick off the mark!

I am not impressed, but there's no point getting my panties in a bunch - it's out there, and I know she's shared the news because she's genuinely thrilled for us.

Still silently miffed though.