Leaving 5yo alone for less than five minutes?

[Lowla]

My daughter has autism and hates the rain. I had planned to nip to the shops on the walk home from school with her but it started to rain, she started to scream, so we rushed right home.

After i calmed her down, dried her off etc, I put Fireman Sam on for her and gave her a snack. I still really had to go to the shops, so I asked dd if she wanted to come and she said no as it was still raining.

The shop's literally next door to my house. i.e. you walk out my front door and the shop's door is less than five feet away. So i made sure dd was okay, made sure there was nothing dangerous she could get hold of, told her i was going to the shops and nipped out. I timed myself and i was less than 3 minutes.

When i got back, dd was in the exact same position and seemed to not even notice i'd gone. But my friend has just text saying she passed me in the car and asked where dd was. I explained i'd left her and my friend went mad at me! She said it was illegal and i was terrible etc.

As far as i know, it's not illegal to leave a child alone for a short period. What's illegal is neglecting them or putting them in danger. I'd removed all sorts of dangerous things from dd's reach before i left.

I now feel really guilty and scared she'll phone someone on me! It was paracetemol and 'lady bits' i needed . I went to the school straight from work so couldn't have gone to the shop before collecting dd.

Was i being unreasonable leaving her?

If it was exactly as you describe then no, you could just as easily have been pegging the washing out. Any further or longer though and you could have been U.

This is just the same as me leaving my 5yo twins in front of the tv while I take the recycling out to the garage, which I do every week and they haven't spontaneously combusted in my brief absence yet. Your friend is overreacting and should mind her own business.

Yanbu give yourself a fuckng break woman! X

Your friend is being ridiculous - what you did was fine.

That distance is only like going into another room or upstairs surely?

It's not illegal, don't worry about it for another minute and tell your friend to mind her own business!

its fine. I would do it too. sadly its not quite such a quick trip to the shop so not an option for me. I walk to the post box and leave the kids watching the telly. Theres nothing they can do in the minute I'm gone that they can't do whilst I'm hanging out the washing outside.

Yanbu, but do make sure that she can't lock you out. I left mine whem they were small to hang some washing out, they turned the lock and I couldn't get back in the bloody flat!

The argument against doing this is 'what if you got run over/fainted etc and no-one knew your dd was alone in the house?'

These are extremely unlikely occurrences, and I would do as you did in your circumstances today.

Your friend is vile.

Thanks everyone. Feel better now. She feels i should have phoned my dad or asked a neighbour to go to the shop for me instead!

I think it was fine, I'm one of those overprotective hysterical types and even I would do that.

Really lesson learned, ignore her or tell her somebody is in the house ask why she is so concerned and does she mean to be so rude.

Really lesson learned, ignore her or tell her somebody is in the house ask why she is so concerned and does she mean to be so rude.

I go to the toilet for longer than that. I go to hide from the kids

I am a worse mother than you then, as I have left my 2 year old watching TV while I nipped across the road to the shops - I was gone about 90 seconds.

It depends really. If your DD has Autism and is passive, then YANBU. If your DD had Autism and was very active, you may well be UR. But I'd find it highly unlikely that you'd take the risk if your DD was like mine (not ASD, but SN which make any zone a danger zone ) which means that you must have risk assessed.

YANBU. I've left mine briefly to run to the shop for milk etc - am gone for a similar amount of time, less time than it takes to peg my washing out at the bottom of my stupidly long garden. Posted about it once on another forum full of hysterical muppets and got an absolute pasting, which was hilarious. Ran the situ past my mum, who is a social worker of 38 years standing and she just laughed at the pearl-clutching horror of my detractors. A lot.

Tell your friend to mind her own bloody business. You left your 5 year old daughter alone in a room for 3 minutes. No big deal.

Surly a friend should be saying that if you are in the same circumstances again to ring her?

ds is 6 and has austism there is no way i can turn my back on him, he don't see no danger and will act on impluse.

so from my POV yabu, to leave a 5 year old child with austism alone in a house alone

Of course yanbu. You know your dd. My 5 year old goes to the park and to call on his friend himself.

I have a child with sn, though, probable autism ( long list of dx that im not going into here) and he would sit and stare at the walls for hours at 5, so I don't think the asd is relevant tbh. It varies hugely.

OP My DS is autistic and blind. From my POV yanbu.

The thread is about the op's child in particular, not all 5 year olds. I wouldn't leave one of my nt 7 year olds cos he is a little sod who would prob burn the house down the second I shut the door.