to start a thread just for non-reporters?

[Hullygully]

So we can relax, enjoy ourselves and say whatever we like without a swathe of meaningless deletions at the behest of a PO?

Hair frightens me, all I can do with mine is 1) brush it 2) bung it in a ponytail, and I don't do either of them very often.

Thankfully I have a DS not a DD so all I need to do to get it looking presentable is rub it vigorously with a towel a couple of times a week and pick out the spaghetti hoops after lunch.

Oh and my earlier rant was not glimmering ranting about days of yore. I am happy for the site to develop on move on. But I would like it to develop on move on with the gitbaskets please.

Also I have just managed to get jam on both sides of my hand at once in a antipodean fashion.

I think a certain amount of bending does seem to go with the territory.

Sometimes I glance through to the gym and DD looks like a pretzel.

I checked for a hole btw in case the jam was dripping through.

I cannot WAIT to be a [insert sport of DC's choice] parent. I'm going to be awesome at it. I can do hair, I can do bitchy, competitive and machiavellian chicanery. If I can be arsed.

When I did gymnastics, at one point this random Russian dude came along (I still have no idea who he was) and he looked at us cheerful, chilled out amateur gymnasts with discussed and said "you do splits. and I sit on your back smoking cigarette until you do splits properly"
12 little faces going like this

If my children want to do gymnastics, I will now feel obliged to interview the instructor on their preferred stretch-training techniques.

Think how precious I'll look!

Ds likes trains and Hornby. I love him so much for being a geek.

Dn oth does Baton Twirling. As far as I am aware this involved wearing expensive clothes and make up whilst not dropping a stick, and charging £100s to put them in regional not dropping your stick competitions.

Jessie

Is the Russian your problem or the smoking?

disgust, sorry, not discussed

Try Pony Club parents.

Since I have gone Tongan, I can no longer fit in any of my trendy horsey gear. The looks of disdain and slight pity that follow me around would be depressing if I actually gave a fuck.

How do I pick? Cyrillic alphabet or passive smoking... How do I pick!

BTW, this was in the late 80s when chain-smoking around small children was pretty much a pre-requisite for being a ballet or gymnastics teacher (IME at least).

I was never allowed to do gymnastics- the gym club was only for boys!

That really pissed me off.

I'm not going to tell DS that sport exists and then he won't ask to go to any of these awful places. We are also hiding birthdays and Christmas from him.

[mean]

[sensible]

Make sure he doesn't find out about Easter or Alton Towers, too.

Or the cinema- so expensive.

[The rest of this post was removed by MNHQ for being a boring list of interesting-but-expensive places, events and concepts. We're sending a print-out of it to Jessie's children, as we think they will be appreciative.]

Oi, who reported me?!

Was it because I mentioned REDACTED?

Back from dentist.

Got a temp filling and appointment for extraction...great.

Can't eat for 3 hours...but she didn't say i couldn't drink wine

My grandaughter does extra-curric that you can all report so get ready with your wrinkly pointy fingers

She does.....freestyle disco dancing

I did judo as a child which laregely meant being lain on by the teacher as he demonstrated stuff to the class. Strangely he was arrested and the classes ceased - and I never connected the two things for YEARS.

AND (the gates of memory have gaped) the same thing happened when I learnt karate in my twenties, except he wasn't arrested and was actually quite attractive so I didn't mind all that much.

Crikey... Can boys do Freestyle Disco Dancing, crazynanna? It's seeming like the best option.

Don't worry - all I learnt was how to breathe whilst being squashed in an ill-fitting white suit.

Oooo I want to do freestyle disco dancing.

Oh wait, I do. Especially after nine bottles of Lady Grape.

So kind of preparation for life as an Elvis impersonator then?