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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't know if I am BU or not - kids' parties

45 replies

GreatBallsofFluff · 10/09/2012 19:39

DS has been invited to a party at a local attraction but I am having to drop him off there myself. It is 21 miles away and the party lasts for 5 hours. AIBU to be a bit Hmm about this?

Luckily i am able to take him but I didn't think it was usual etiquette for a party? Or am i just a grumpy entitled moo?

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 10/09/2012 19:43

can you elaborate on what the actual issue is?

ChocolateTeacup · 10/09/2012 19:44

Age of your DS, Activity?

WhatYouLookingAt · 10/09/2012 19:45

not usual etiquette to take him there? Who else do you imagine would take him there? Confused

StinkyPig · 10/09/2012 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nanny0gg · 10/09/2012 19:45

Is it the taking him or the leaving him?

vigglewiggle · 10/09/2012 19:48

It's an invitation, not an instruction.

ParsleyTheLioness · 10/09/2012 19:48

Maybe OP is saying it's a long way to travel, and then go back to collect, or difficult to find an activity to avoid doing the extra mileage if returning home in between. Ie 42 miles(round trip) and hang around like a lemon, or 84 miles....caught between a rock and a hard place IMO OP...

NatashaBee · 10/09/2012 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brass · 10/09/2012 19:51

OP is annoyed at the distance which is quite far to travel for a children's party and the fact that it is 5 hours long!

OP will you have to hang around there in order to bring him back, I can't imagine I'd want to do that journey twice.

Can you lift share with anyone else?

Hassled · 10/09/2012 19:52

21 miles away is a hell of trek for a party. But then - 5 hours, so it's way longer than your average and it's not like it won't be worth going home again/doing whatever. Don't really see the problem. If it were 21 miles and lasted a couple of hours I'd be a bit can't-be-arsed myself.

Original poster
GreatBallsofFluff · 10/09/2012 19:52

I think it's that it's so far away i'm just a bit Hmm about. obviously I would take him to parties but I just (obviously stupidly) thought that with far away activities for parties that I would take him to the child's house and then off they go. It just seems an (admittedly selfish) waste of a weekend day doing two 40 mile round trips. Of course I will take him no question, just in the past I've planned party activities based on how many I can fit in my car if it's far away.

OP posts:
Dominodonkey · 10/09/2012 19:53

YANBU - 21 miles is a very long way to go for a party and I would probably expect lifts to be organised by the party parents. Could you not share with a friend so there is no hanging around.

squeakytoy · 10/09/2012 19:53

depends where you live.. 21 miles is not that far depending on the roads between your home and the venue.. are there other friends going that could lift share between parents?

brass · 10/09/2012 19:54

We've got one coming up which is on a school night at some (not as) far venue which doesn't finish til 8ish so by the time he gets to bed it will be after 9.30. Makes me Hmm as we lose an evening.

Maat · 10/09/2012 19:55

It depends how the invites were handled.

If I was organising something that required parents to transport their children a long distance, I would check with the parents first before handing out any invitations to children.

Original poster
GreatBallsofFluff · 10/09/2012 19:55

Sorry I can't type quickly on my phone.

Unfortunately he's just started a new school so I know no other parents and as I work and he attends breakfast and afterschool club, I don't have the chance to meet them. I don't have a problem with leaving him - in fact I think I would cramp his style being there.

OP posts:
brass · 10/09/2012 19:56

is it some kind of paintballing thing?

Yika · 10/09/2012 19:56

YANBU. It's more of an imposition than an invitation. Especially if they live close by!

stealthsquiggle · 10/09/2012 19:58

It's a hell of a treck - can you not join forces with someone so that you only do one trip at least?

Normal etiquette round here (where that sort of trip is not unusual, as some people travel 15 miles to DC's school, so things which are near them are a bloody long way for people who live the same sort of distance the other way from school, IYSWIM) is for party host to facilitate car shares if people haven't sorted them out for themselves (which they ususally do) and/or offer to collect from and drop off at school (as a handy mid point).

How old is DS, OP?

Original poster
GreatBallsofFluff · 10/09/2012 19:58

Brass no it's not paintballing. Don't really want to say the activity as it will make it obvious who I am in rl.

OP posts:
Thedoctrineofennis · 10/09/2012 19:59

Could you ask the party host parents if they know anyone with a space in their car?

Could you have a day trip nearby - shopping, National Trustbtype thing?

stealthsquiggle · 10/09/2012 19:59

Ah - X-post. In that case, I would ring party host and (say Thank you very much for the invitation and) ask if they know anyone else who lives with you with whom you could share lifts - that way (hopefully) you get to waste less of your weekend, and meet someone who is local to you.

stealthsquiggle · 10/09/2012 20:00

lives near you, not with you, obv... Blush

brass · 10/09/2012 20:00

no probs OP

Jssthdg · 10/09/2012 20:02

YANBU - hosts should be arranging transport for somewhere that far away.