I don't know if I am BU or not - kids' parties

[GreatBallsofFluff]

DS has been invited to a party at a local attraction but I am having to drop him off there myself. It is 21 miles away and the party lasts for 5 hours. AIBU to be a bit about this?

Luckily i am able to take him but I didn't think it was usual etiquette for a party? Or am i just a grumpy entitled moo?

We live that distance from DD's school so have to do this distance or more for most parties. Why not bring a good book or find a local cafe to pass the time in. It's what I do and a few hours of peace can be lovely if you make the most of it.

I think the best option for me would be to try a find something to do in that area during the party. I have a friend visiting that weekend from a way away so it might be nice to get away from our 'usual' area and go somewhere different. Good suggestion Thedoctrine

Ask host parents if you can give anyone a lift; it'll be a way to get to know other parents (if you want to get to know them that is!).

YANBU. I dont drive & live in a semi rural place. 21 miles would be very difficult to travel as public transport not great. I think the parents should have asked the parents b4 booking anything.

Living in a rural location I have on several occasions taken my DC on a 36mile round trip for parties at locations in the nearest big town, and not thought anything of it, it is a consequence of living out here, and all us local mums just get on with it. We do try to car share so we only do one journey, but that's not always possible. Also, would love the event to go on 5hrs, 2-3 seems the norm around here!!

"I think the parents should have asked the parents b4 booking anything"

Um WHY? It's their child's party - so surely it should be about what their child wants to do - not the travel arrangements of people they have been kind enough to invite? If people don't want to travel that far their children don't have to go. Simples. But why should a child miss out on the activity they want to do for their birthday because it doesn't suit someone elses parents?

The party is meant to be all about the birthday child NOT the parents of their friends....

As for 21 miles each way - we live in a rural area - I wouldn't think anything of it, and IMO five hours is actually a pretty good length of time as it does enable people who want to go home in between to be there for at least three and a half hours before having to go back.

Call me weird but I'm really not seeing the issue - but then I drove over an hour each way to a kids party recently, and it was brilliant!

Does seem a bit of a long way to me.

Coola i think the parents should have spoke to the parents about it because say they book something, their child invites who they want to come & no one can come because its too far to get to, the child will be disappointed. Thats not fair on the child whose birthday it is.

Wild the OP has said she's new to the area and isn't at the school gates much - it might not have been possible to have checked first.

Hope you and your friend have a good day trip if that's what you decide to do OP!

For that sort of party I would have maybe checked with a few very close friends of my dc so that they could definitely come, and although it might be nice for the newer boy to come too, I wouldn't check before I booked it. It would have been nice to offer to facilitate car shares, and maybe if you ring them you can find someone else going your way. Having said that knowing my dh, we would drive the 21 miles and then about 15 more to make 'a day of it'.

I wouldn't bat an eyelash at 21 miles as we live in the middle of nowhere and if you want any kind of bright lights/big city sort of shenanigans there's a long drive involved ... That said, everyone lift shares shamelessly and part of the hostly duties is pairing people up so no one has to do both ways. Could you ring the party Mum and see if she can put you in touch with the others so you can drop off and they can pick up or wharever?

[shame] Whatever!

Is everyone travelling 21 miles or do you live further out than some other families - just that you mention changing schools but not moving house?

In any case I would volunteer to take other kids and help out do you can get to know done local parents

's' fail there - should have said 'so you can get to know some local parents'

If you have a car, 21 miles is really not far. My dad lives 20 miles away, I can drive there in half an hour. The best thing would be for you to take your DS and a friend there and get the friends parent to bring both kids back.

It's a bit far, but not unheard of at all. I'd be impressed that they are taking the children for 5 hours!

Surely you'll arrange lift shares? One parent takes 4 kids. Another brings them all back. You only have to do one lift every other party - really not a big deal.

My Ds was invited by a friend to see a show in Birmingham a few years ago. We live in Sheffield.

I spent 3.5 hours with a book and a bag of haribo in my car, in the car park.

We do these things for our kids don't we?

I drive that far to the supermarket well, not quite, more like 12, but living in the middle of nowhere gives me an alternative perspective on distances

Presumably this is a fun activity for your DS that you aren't having to pay for? Suck it up, woman, it's only some driving!

Actually the school is 10 miles in the other direction so I am sure others will have further to go. I will make a day of it - as titty says we do these things for our kids and it's all part of being a parent.

A five hour party 21 miles away is crying out for a car share, so set one up and try to tag along with someone elses. The host will be able to give you contacts for who else is going.

I've been to similar parties in the past at Huntingdon Gym (and saw the lovely Louis Smith there), which is a trek from home. Parents have just got together, split journeys or hung around with the hosts and enjoyed the excitement of the party. It's great fun jumping off a beam into a sponge pit!