To feel completely helpless?

[DesperatelySeekingPomBears]

Just been to visit my DM and on the way out we walked past her NDNs only to find him (a burly 6ft+ boxer) cornering her (a slim little petite 5ft nothing type) behind their kids trampoline whilst screaming at her. She looked terrified. He was calling her a smackhead, threatening to massacre her whole family, their three kids (7, 5 and 2) were absolutely hysterical.

As we passed him, he turned on me and my DM and informed us that 'any fucking neighbours who call the fucking police are gunna get fucking whacked n'all'.

Charming.

I had 8mo DS with me, DM had my 9yo DB with her. We just got in our cars and left, quickly.

AIBU to feel like absolute shit? I feel so sorry for her and the DCs but there's no way I'll phone in a complaint against him in case he makes good on his threat, after all, he knows exactly where DM lives.

WWYD in this situation? I think she's genuinely terrified of him. She's left a few times but always comes back [sigh].

Sweet Jesus!

You're kidding, right?

You didn't phone?

Hope someone else did. How would he know it's your mum?

He threatened you and your family. You are surely going to report him for that, at the very least!

Evil succeeds when good men do nothing.

Sorry but I couldn't have walked away.

He's horrible. From a horrible family. Frequently out in the street swearing and shouting in the early hours on his way home from a fight he's won.

I'm willing to accept I was being unreasonable but would you have honestly put yourself and your family at risk by phoning the police? He would know exactly who had called and would think nothing about physically attacking me or my mam next time he saw us, which in my mam's case wouldn't be long as she lives, as I said, next door to him. I always have DS with me, should I have put him at risk?

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him to get the fuck away from her until he came out with his comment about whacking people. He is large, I am small, I do not want him to whack me. Much less when I'm carrying my infant son in his car seat...

I would have given him an earful right back and more than that too if he tried anything! Nasty lout!

But just think of the utter bliss if he had actually hit you and you had sent him to prison - his wee wifie is too scared to but it's much less likely (but still possible) he'd have hit you.

Please, please call the police. They are trained to deal with this and will keep your call anonymous - he has actually threatened you - you can have him for assault already!

He'd never know who called - you won't be the only person calling about that fucker.

Can you phone and make out you were another neighbour overhearing it?

PLEASE REPORT THIS TO THE POLICE OP

FGS.... That poor woman & those kids!!

You feel helpless - what about them?!

that woman and her children needed your help and you turned your back on them.

I wonder how many neighbours of "victims" have lived to bitterly regret NOT reporting something they have seen and heard, which later led to tragic events? how would you live with yourself?

those poor kids, noone should live in that sort of environment

Report him, please. He is a bully and bullies don't attack people who stand up to them. I know it's tough and scary, but think how you'll feel if he makes good his threats to his children one day.

If this is true, then have some guts and call the police. You heard him threaten to KILL his wife, his 3 children. What more do you need?

Jesus Christ. Those children need your help. Grow a pair!

You also say you feel helpless but you're not. You can pick up the phone and help.

YABU. Phone the police.

I completely understand your reasons for being reluctant to call, but personally I'd have to. The guilt if anything happened to those children would be too much
I feel for you though OP, what a horrible situation to be in.

Op, I think you are getting an unfair flaming here.
I would like to think I would have called the police, but I wasn't there. I don't have to think about the safety of myself and my family.
It's easy to post on an Internet forum and say call the police from the safety of your armchair. I suspect, it's a lot harder and scarier to do it in real life.

I hope your DMs NDN is ok. Maybe, you could try visiting her when he is out and see if you can help her at all?

The OP's mum isn't elderly though, is she? She has a 9yo so at most she'll be, what, 55? Saying that, I'd also be terrified if that happened to me but would have to at least call it in anonymously.

My ex was a police officer in the met. One night shift he was called to a block of flats where a young woman was raped. Nice area, expensive flats - the woman had made a run for it from the flat she was raped in and hammered on all the doors screaming for help - not one person called the police or opened the door.

I think I will take the advice of someone up thread and have a word with her next time I see her. I really don't think calling the police would help, I doubt she'd press charges and I can only imagine the kicking she'd take when they left.

I had neighbours like this a few years ago. We came back from our holiday in the early hours of the morning to find police and a private ambulance..... He had murdered her

I'm sure that I read on a recent thread that it's no longer up to the victim of the dv to decide whether to press charges or not. The police handle it all.

YANBU

I can understand why you wouldnt want to do anything to put you or your mum and DB in the firing line.

I think its easy to say just call the police but its not that simple.

Report to nspcc? You can report anon concerns about a child www.nspcc.org.uk/
Please please please report