to think that the phrase "God Botherer" isn't meant kindly.

[FoxtrotFoxtrotSierra]

DH and I were at a church wedding at the weekend which included a full Eucharist. I'm a practising Christian and took communion at the service. DH isn't hugely religious, but has a lot of respect for the church and went up for a blessing at that point.

After the service we were chatting to some people when an old university friend of DH came over and said "I didn't have you down as God Botherers" to us! I did say at the time (be proud MN) "Did you mean to be so rude?" to which he said he didn't and conversation continued.

We've just received an apology via email saying "I certainly didn't mean to be rude, but if I was I apologise to you both" - which is a bit contingent on the apology bit, but I'll let that drop, but has got me thinking about the phrase.

AIBU to think that there's no other way to use the phrase God Botherer unless to be rude? Particularly to someone who has just taken communion/been for a blessing as they're obviously Christian/involved in some way in the church.

I think you are being very sensitive about a comment which was apparently not intended to be offensive and for which you received an apology. Unless you have reaon to think he was lying?

It is a phrase which gets used without anyone really thinking about it - like yummy mummy or petrol head.

It's very mildly offensive imo.

Basically, you're meant to be embarrassed that you're religious as it's cool to be atheist at the moment. He's pointing out that he's cool and you're not and poking fun at you for that.

Ignore (or your response is good too, but be aware he'll be away thinking that you're a mad creationist fundie with no sense of humour, if you care about his opinion anyway).

YANBU - My DP and I have used it (privately) to describe people before. It is not meant kindly and would never say it to someone's face.
Perhaps this person genuinely didn't realise it would be taken in offence..although can't see how! At least he apologised for it. If he sent an email he's obviously thought about what he said and decided that he was a bit rude.

It's not a term I would use in that context. I've only ever thought it to myself to describe someone who was "bothering" me and trying to force their religion down my throat...which is something I don't like and I find rude (I'm aware only a minority of religious people are like this by the way). It's still no excuse to be rude to someone though...But he did apologise so I'm not sure what else he could have done.

It was nice of him to apologise.

See, I always thought 'God Botherer' was meant as in a person who keeps bothering God (who presumably is busy doing good deeds :)) whereas other people tend to use it to mean someone who 'bothers' other people about religion, i.e. tries to convert them.

I prefer the former definition as it makes me laugh to think of God wishing people wouldn't keep on praying and singing at him when he's trying to get stuff done.

However, I have never and would never use it to someone's face.

I'm not going to hold it against him, or reject the apology or anything ridiculous like that, I was just thinking about the phrase.

I wasn't outraged or anything, but felt it was an unnecessary thing to call us! I see it as very different from "didn't have you down as religious" as the botherer part implies, to me, a bit of sneering at belief, which is just sad and as pp says indicative of how cool it is to be atheist these days for some people.

TheJoyfulPuddleJumper I think you have summed it up perfectly. It's the patronising manner in which it is said that is the offensive part. Though I think Pagwatch is also correct in saying it gets used without thought.

God Botherer is a dreadful description of a believer.

I also think that Bed Blocker is also dreadful. People are in hospital because they need to be. Just because there's no one at home to look after them does not mean that they are a nuisance - which is implied in the term 'bed blocker'. It sounds as if it's the patient's fault for being ill and he/she ought to go home come what may.

I do think that it is a rude phrase - you were right to challenge him on it at the time, and he was right to apologise (twice).

The fact that he emailed does suggest that he used the term thoughtlessly and, on reflection, wishes that he hadn't. I would accept the apology in the spirit that it was intended and move on.

It would never occur to me that it meant someone who goes on about their faith.

I always thinkit means someone who prays and sings hymns whileGod is trying to get shit done

Tbh I would be far more offended if someone used yummy mummy in my hearing.

I've used it in a derogatory way if the Jehovah Witnesses are on the prowl round our way as in 'Don't answer the door the God Botherers / God Squad are around' I'd never use it to somebodies face though.

When I was at Uni the Christian Union decided to take back the phrase God Botherer, as they felt it to mean people who pray, and so were proud of it.

Ah yes thankyou sugarice the other one I couldn't remember is God Squad. There were buttons with that on, ISTR.

I would never use the phrase to someones face as I think it is their choice and right to worship who they wish.

The time we do use it in this house is if we have had people at the door doing the preachy thing as they are usually tenacious and not very respectfull if we say we dont want to know, and will still try and push the point and preach when I have said I dont wish to hear... (btw this is more about my wish to NOT be bothered at my door)

So, "who was at the door?"...... "God Botherers"

I would only use that in relation to someone who bothered ME about religion as opposed to them bothering WiTH religion iyswim

I think it often used unkindly.

But the first time I heard it, it was from a very jolly Franciscan friar who announced he was about to put his frock on and go and bother God.

Its one of those that could be meant offensively or could be meant affectionately. It's all in the tone.
They did apologise. Turn the other cheek, perhaps?

I find the concept of people thinking others are atheist because it's "cool" very strange.

Surely you either believe in God (or Allah, or whoever you choose) or you don't. Do people really pick their ideology and beliefs based on what is cool?

I'm atheist because I don't believe God (etc) exists...that's it. I tried when I was younger but it just never switched anything on in my head...I didn't choose it, it chose me. Does that make sense? I'm sure most religious people would say the same about how they came to their beliefs.

Definitely rude.

Just about as rude as dismissing AThing as trying to be cool. So you're all tied

Atheists* not AThing

Jesus my phone is now autocorrecting legit words to mumsnet posters names!