to think that the phrase "God Botherer" isn't meant kindly.

[FoxtrotFoxtrotSierra]

DH and I were at a church wedding at the weekend which included a full Eucharist. I'm a practising Christian and took communion at the service. DH isn't hugely religious, but has a lot of respect for the church and went up for a blessing at that point.

After the service we were chatting to some people when an old university friend of DH came over and said "I didn't have you down as God Botherers" to us! I did say at the time (be proud MN) "Did you mean to be so rude?" to which he said he didn't and conversation continued.

We've just received an apology via email saying "I certainly didn't mean to be rude, but if I was I apologise to you both" - which is a bit contingent on the apology bit, but I'll let that drop, but has got me thinking about the phrase.

AIBU to think that there's no other way to use the phrase God Botherer unless to be rude? Particularly to someone who has just taken communion/been for a blessing as they're obviously Christian/involved in some way in the church.

Maybe I misunderstood, but I read it that the old university friend had also attended the service. In which case his comment was meant in a humorous and self-deprecating way, which he thought you'd go along with. Obviously he made the mistake of assuming you had a sense of humour.

He has gone beyond the call of duty with an e-mailed apology. Try to lighten up a little and let it go.

God Botherer I think implies someone who does street preaching, knocking on doors or writing outraged letters about lesbians on TV. I think it's beyond just going to church on Sunday morning.

It doesn't necessarily mean someone who proselytises it can just mean someone who is quite pious in their everyday life.

"It's a it daft as a phrase really"
Yes, like letterbox head, or queer....

Its just a "daft phrase" for muslim women with their faces covered.

I don't think the "Did you mean to be rude" phrase was really required here. Sometimes old uni mates (particularly men), have quite a rapport going and there is banter and they will say all sorts of things to each other. Maybe your husband and the guy are like that. I would have just laughed it off and said "Yes we are. Do you want to join us?" or something. In another context i might have been more offended.

I consider it rude and would never use it to anyone's face, not even the most persistent JW or Mormon. I'm a live-and-let-live kind of atheist and number Christians, Muslims, Sikhs and Hindus among my friends. We even talk about religion and find a surprising amount of morality in common.

When the faithful come calling it depends on whether I have the time or the inclination as to whether I talk to them (I never let them in, when it's raining I tell them politely that I am not interested). I do love a good debate.

And 'letterboxhead' is very offensive. I am extremely uncomfortable with women in full veils, but that's my Western feminist sentiments talking. I override them by telling myself that these women are fully veiled by personal choice and just hope it's true.

It's always been derogatory ime. Well done op for using the mumsnet put down

I suppose it is mildly offensive,if you're god botherer
but he did graciously apologise
it's in common parlance meant to be funny, sure it's not intended unkind.it's gentle leg pulling

I don't find it offensive. I think there is a stereotype of some Christians as being somewhat humourless, and your response may well have added to that.

Mind you, I dislike the "did you mean so rude" response so beloved of MN at the moment anyway...

did you mean to be rude is a lame mc putdown
yes
yes I did would be the obvious retort

of course it isn't meant to be kind

neither are bible-thumper, jesus freak or God Squad

what is a letterbox head?

oh ok have read it now

It sounds like banter to me.

most social intercourse has some degree of humour
either self deprecating or gentle leg pulling
and so long as it's not malicious it's usually ok

See, I would have thought the term was just an affectionate leg-pull, like being "an anorak" or a "twitcher"
I don't think its rude as such, but you got an apology, so what more do you want?

Don't worry about it. My husband refers to me as a god botherer! It's a good humoured expression from heathens who have no idea what god is about, and that's ok. Relaaaaax

ive said it
my Christian describes herself as god botherer
it's a gentle tease.

It sounds as though the old friend meant it in a light hearted way as an icebreaker after not seeing dh for some time (probably accompanied by a grin and a manly back slap).

My dad refers to himself as a god-botherer, he's been the church warden for yanks, and his brother is a vicar. Round our way it's used by the church goers as a self-deprecatory unifying term.

I'm all for calling people out when they are being rude, but I suspect given the context (church wedding and old mate) that he was just being, erm, friendly, and you are now down as 'that mental woman married to x'. Which would be rude. Whereas god-botherer probably wasn't.