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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask a grandad to pick up child lying at edge of millenium bridge

55 replies

urbanproserpine · 10/09/2012 11:50

I had to say something.

Walking across millennium bridge in London yesterday with my DSs and passed a Grandad and his 2.5 - 3YO. boy had one of those backpack/harnesses on, and was lying on the edge of the bridge, actually against the tensile steel cables that form the guard rails (nothing beyond that except a long drop and the Thames). His Grandad was tugging the harness to persuade him to get up, but was also taking pictures of the view and not really looking that bothered. I stopped a few steps down and looked back, and eventually I went back and said I though he should get the little boy to stand up. He refused and said he was fine, but I watched from afar until he eventually got up. I had one of those moments when you imagine what might happen and can't walk by.. I would bet that his mum wouldjn't have let him do that...

This bridge makes me feel tense because the cables are horizontal, and any child could get up and over in a moment, and it would be 'Goodnight Vienna' for certain. I always make my small DCs hold my hands across there...

AIBU?

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 10/09/2012 11:53

Surely if he had hold of his harness he was safe? Do the rails not stop you from falling? How would the situation have been better if the boy was standing up?

Don't know the bridge so don't know whether YABU or not?

missymoomoomee · 10/09/2012 12:01

YABU he was with the child he had a hold of the harness, it was none of your business. I can't believe you would have the brass neck to tell someone how to look after a child when he was right beside him.

BlackberryIce · 10/09/2012 12:02

How did the bridge pass health and safety if it is as you describe?

Northernlurkerisbackatwork · 10/09/2012 12:06

So the child was lying on the bridge - not running or jumping, bordered by the railing cables and secured by a harness which Grandfather was holding and you still weren't happy? Do you generally find yourself to be quite an anxious person?

NanAstley · 10/09/2012 12:15

Sorry but I don't get this. At which part of the bridge are the horizontal cables so widely spaced that a child can get through them? I have walked the bridge quite a few times and don't recall this.

cantspel · 10/09/2012 12:17

How do you know it was his grandad?

NanAstley · 10/09/2012 12:18

View of the railings

If that is not safe, I will eat the entire bridge, tensile cables and all.

imonthefone · 10/09/2012 12:21

is it as shown in nans photo, urban?

TubbyDuffs · 10/09/2012 12:26

Would you have mentioned it to the child's mum or dad if they were the ones looking after the child? Are you even sure it was a grandparent and not the father?

From the photo is looks pretty safe to me.

Original poster

urbanproserpine · 10/09/2012 12:30

You can't see the bit he was in - he was in a corner between the base of the railings and the cables - his body was entirely against the cables. I know they are tensile and very strong.. but I couldn't see how big the gap at the bottom was. Also he had a leg through the cables, and I wasn't sure how much of him would get through.

Also re: harness: I had the same backpack/harness (little life ladybird) and I can vouch for it not being strong enough to hold a child in all circumstances.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 10/09/2012 12:34

Was the child pancake shaped?

imonthefone · 10/09/2012 12:38

i cant picture whart you mean, so cant say if UABU or not

NanAstley · 10/09/2012 12:43

"This bridge makes me feel tense because the cables are horizontal, and any child could get up and over in a moment, and it would be 'Goodnight Vienna' for certain. I always make my small DCs hold my hands across there..."

To be completely honest, I think you are projecting your own feelings on to the situation.

The Millenium Bridge does have that unnerving effect on people because of its unusual design. In most bridges, railings are completely vertical, and all the supporting members are also right up against the railings. So when you stand against the railing, you feel a sense of security, almost as if the railings are protecting you from danger.

In the Millenium Bridge, the railings curve away from you, and all supporting members also arch well away from the main structure. When you stand looking down in to the Thames, the only contact your body has with the structure (apart form the floor) is the handrail itself...the lower railings do not touch you, and the struts are out of your visual range. The horizontal railings add to the feeling of invisibility (vertical railings give a jail-like effect which, in the case of bridges etc gives a feeling of security rather than imprisonment).

The cumulative effect of all these factors is the feeling like you're on the edge of a precipice.

I can assure you that no child is going to accidentally fall off the bridge. In fact only someone determined to head in to the Thames will manage it.

NanAstley · 10/09/2012 12:44

Wow! If only I could have a pound for every time that I said the word "railing" in that post.

missymoomoomee · 10/09/2012 12:52

Worra

Nanastly I counted 8 'railings' in that post, I'm sure you could have managed 10 or 11 with a bit of effort

OP maybe you couldn't see the gap, but the ADULT who was supervising him obviously could and didn't have an issue with it.

If I let my child do something that I deem safe and I was standing right there then some random came up to me advising me to pick my child up there would be hell to pay. I am really shocked that you felt that was an ok thing to do.

BarbaraWoodlouseGoesForGold · 10/09/2012 12:54

Hands Nan £7 as it would be way too pedantic to point out that it was actually the word "railings" not "railing" that was overused

Original poster

urbanproserpine · 10/09/2012 12:56

I woudln't normally do it, and I never have before.
Nan your explanation id spot on for why it feels like that. I am sure i'm nit the only person that feels that way. I'm not normally a vertigo sufferer though

he was right down in this bit (centre of this picture )
here

OP posts:

limitedperiodonly · 10/09/2012 12:56

Was Peaches Geldof anywhere near?

BarbaraWoodlouseGoesForGold · 10/09/2012 12:58

X-posted with missymoomoomee

£1 for railing/ £7 for railings

Tee2072 · 10/09/2012 12:58

Trust me, as someone who has dealt with RoSPA and railings, they wouldn't be like that if they weren't safe.

miaowmix · 10/09/2012 12:59

Was he Flat Stanley?

missymoomoomee · 10/09/2012 13:00

Barbara will we chuck in an extra 50p for the use of handrail too?

NanAstley · 10/09/2012 13:02

Can I be paid by Paypal. Cheques are sooo, like, yesterday, man

Sirzy · 10/09/2012 13:03

I have a massive phobia of bridges (actually couldn't cross the millenum bridge a few years back) but even I think you are over reacting.

WowOoo · 10/09/2012 13:04

I can understand why you would have felt uneasy seeing that. Not sure if I would have said anything.

The first time I went on that bridge when it had just opened I had mild vertigo. They closed it the next day for some safety reason. Eeek!

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