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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To be annoyed that taxi ranks don't let families in first.

618 replies

LittleTurtle · 10/09/2012 11:39

More like a rant really, sorry if it was covered before.

When we came back from holiday with the Eurostar, we went to the taxi rank. I had DC3 on the sling on my front (4 months), a backpack on my back and the babybag on the side, while holding the hands of DC1 and 2 (aged 2 and 4). DH had 2 large suitcases, a backpack and bag. I told DH we will go to the front immediately because priority is given to families and seriously with all our baggage you could tell we were not taking the piss.

When we got there, there were the paralympic guides helping people get into the taxis, when she turned to us and asked : 'Oh sorry, who came first'. There were these Carrie Bradshaw-like fashionistas to go in front of us. I told the guide that we just came in, but usually families with babies usually go first. She told me she never heard of that, and that unless we were disabled or something..........
Then one of the fashionistas took a look at all our baggage and said it's fine we can go, at which her friend said : 'Oh no, are you sure?'. Eventually we were let in, but I could not help but say to my husband, one of the fashionistas look great on the outside, but just cold on the inside. What kind of inconsiderate society have we become?

In France, there are signs all over main taxi ranks, that you let the pregnant, disabled, families with babies and tots, etc. go in before. We even naturally get called to the front by the usher as we arrive.
I realised that people in london are less keen, one day we did that, and some guy rushed to the taxi to go in front of us, and the taxi driver turned him away and told him : 'don't you see those people need more help?'.

Even before I was pregnant and had kids, I always left the lift, seats etc. to the mums and elders, so all this behaviour surprises me.

OP posts:
perfectstorm · 10/09/2012 15:04

Obviously disabled people should have first dibs. But a child is not a disability. Confused

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 10/09/2012 15:05

perhaps there are some places where pregnant etc women HAVE to be plucked out of ques because the ques are of the trample-yer-granny variety (remembers trying to get on a bus in Italy without sustaining internal organ damage!)

but thats not a problem here, if you're pregnant you don't have to enter a mosh pit to get on a train/bus/in a taxi, there is no risk to pregnant women or children when standing in a british que

Roseformeplease · 10/09/2012 15:06

Is the OP an "UK women" herself? Surely, if she is, she must have been brought up following the Goddess of the Queue. If not, perhaps she might be better off somewhere more "civilized". (But then I am cold on the outside and on the inside).

Tiredmumno1 · 10/09/2012 15:09

Good grief I thought the school holidays were over, this is ridiculous

Maybe if we all scream YABVVVVU at the same time she may get the message Grin

ShesBack · 10/09/2012 15:10

Well, if it weren't for the hundreds of 'YABUs', my faith in humanity, and British manners, would have been shattered by this. Still amazed the silly vache thinks she was right.

MadBusLady · 10/09/2012 15:11

Indeed, a wonderful thread. A celebration of queues and irony.

loopyluna · 10/09/2012 15:12

Erm, having lived in France for 15 years, I'm a bit Hmm about the OP as there are barely any P&C parking spaces here and the general rule of etiquette appears to be "chacun pour soi"!
The French tend to hold queuing in contempt anyway -especially at my local intermarché. And most of my neighbours, child-free or not, are fashionistas of the highest order. Grin

MarianneM · 10/09/2012 15:13

In a similar situation I wouldn't just go to the front of the queue, but I would probably ask and I would be very surprised if someone actually said no.

This is one of the most stupid things about MN, these "house opinions" about stuff like children and queueing etc. If a family has been travelling all day with small children who are tired, hungry or grumpy, it really is good manners and basic humanity to let them go first! Do you all think that in a queue to the toilet children should also made to wait for their turn even if they can't? Or a burning building/sinking boat - why should children go first, eh?

I actually experienced a situ similar to the OP recently when we arrived at King's Cross station quite late in the evening with a tube & bus journey home ahead with two DC and big suitcases - the DC were hungry and tired and crying. We didn't push in front, we waited although it was hard as we were all exhausted and could barely contain the children. Then just at our turn some hipsters managed to get in first and I did feel pretty annoyed. And I did really wonder at people not offering to let us go first as we were very obviously struggling.

You don't think small children have needs that may need to go before grown-ups'? Like needing to get home/fed/go to bed etc.

It IS ok to disagree with the "house style", you know.

BartiiMus · 10/09/2012 15:13

Grin madbus

perfectstorm · 10/09/2012 15:14

"It's not a matter on entitlement, just a view on society behaviour of 'everyone on their own, no matter that they obviously need help'. It's all about empathy, which is why I guess the French do it."

What a thoroughly racist remark. You are condemning an entire country's national characteristics, and lauding another's, as though the millions who inhabit those countries are two amorphous lumps? And what personally suits you is somehow evidence of greater empathy? Confused So here's another racist remark: if you regard your country of origin as so thoroughly superior to this one, perhaps you should do everyone a great favour and permanently return there?

I'm not British by birth. Don't even have nationality now. Yet I love this country, and am hugely grateful to live here. I love the Brits as a nation and find them warm, kind, gutsy and irreverent. And I have encountered almost nothing but support and help when travelling with DS. I have never once had to lift a buggy on a train or stairs without support, and people are universally fab with him. It's the attitude you approach things with, I suspect. Appreciative and make it a question, and people will help you. Put your nose in the air and make demands, and they will think you're an unpleasant brat and leave you to get on with it. And IMO, quite rightly so.

MarianneM · 10/09/2012 15:15

And families ARE let in the plane first for example, as well as at passport control you are often whisked through first. As it should be.

BartiiMus · 10/09/2012 15:15

"You don't think small children have needs that may need to go before grown-ups'? Like needing to get home/fed/go to bed etc."

Yes but they may not. You cannot know that. You were exhausted but maybe everyone else in the queue was as well. Or in pain. Or in a rush to get home to breastfeed their children before putting them to bed etc.

The whole point is you do not know what the other queuers are "suffering" from.

Jins · 10/09/2012 15:16

Mine's not a house opinion Marianne.

I would genuinely be annoyed if someone else considered their need was more important than my need to get home and get my children sorted. I would recognise that your children needed to get to bed but as it was your decision to travel at that time and I was 3 hours from home I wouldn't care too much.

Sirzy · 10/09/2012 15:17

Marianne - standing in a queue for a taxi isn't comparable to a child who is bursting for the toilet.

If YOU can't be arranged enough to plan trips and have snacks to keep children happy that's your fault why should others be forced to queue for longer because of that?

Jins · 10/09/2012 15:18

Also letting families on the plane first is not a reasonable comparison. The plane will take off at the same time regardless of who sits down first

perfectstorm · 10/09/2012 15:20

"And families ARE let in the plane first for example, as well as at passport control you are often whisked through first. As it should be"

That isn't to help families. It's to help those without kids board safely and swiftly. If it were to help families, they'd board them last so they aren't cooped up longer at the seating.

threeOrangesocksmorgan · 10/09/2012 15:20

MarianneM but what if the other people waiting are tired, hungry or need the toilet.
still don't think having children is something that means you can que jump.
tbh if I was in a que I would expect to have my turn, I would be furious if someone que jumped/

weblette · 10/09/2012 15:22

YABVU Totally agree with loopyluna

I don't know what idealised bit of France you've been in but the North doesn't seem to have the same attitude, chacun pour soi sums it up perfectly when it comes to queuing.

I have four children, I don't expect any preferential treatment.

GoldenBabooshka · 10/09/2012 15:23

Exactly Sirzy.

You should plan ahead more Marianna.

LackingNameChangeInspiration · 10/09/2012 15:23

I'm not confroming with the crowd either, I'm thinking about tomorrow, when DS and DH will be at home waiting for me so that I can take over DS's care so that DH doesn't miss his train and loose buisness!

I'll be a woman without any toddlers with me but I'll need my cab as soon as I get to the top of the que, the people on front of me need their cab for their own reasons, the people behind will also have their reasons for wishing they were at the top already but I don't think there really is a fair way to play taxi rank top trumps!

GoldenBabooshka · 10/09/2012 15:24

Marianna*

Ephiny · 10/09/2012 15:24

Are you the OP, Marianne? It's just the mention of those nasty 'hipsters' (cf fashionistas, bankers and wearers of tight jeans) pushing in front of a poor deserving family.

Personally I would let someone of any age go in front of me in the toilet queue if they were really in dire need.

On a sinking/burning ship, human nature being what it is, I'd probably save myself, and someone else's kid would be the last thing on my mind.

And in the taxi queue, you breeders wait your turn like everyone else.

HTH.

Pendeen · 10/09/2012 15:24

Provided that, in the preceding 18 or so pages the OP has not been 'outed' as a bored child and this is simply a mischievous exercise in raising the collective blood pressures of MN, then I must - in all faith - agree with her that she is NBU at all.

Quite entitled to feel annoyed.

Just don't expect many peple to agree with her...

(Incidentally the french are amongst the rudest most inconsiderate peple I have ever met when it comes to queues)

TantrumsAndGoldAndOrange · 10/09/2012 15:25

Ok just going back to the points system for a minute (late as usual)

I think I should get points for the teenagers, dd who brings eleven million changes of clothes for a weekend break and ds1 who walk so slowly we could be home in the time it takes him to get to the queue.

I should be first in the queue. I demand it.

I've bought up 3 children y'know. And I have hay fever.
I also wear high heeled shoes which would go in someone's foot if they tried to queue jump on the basis of having children

GoldenBabooshka · 10/09/2012 15:26

I hate my phone.

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