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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have expected my friend to phone me ?

42 replies

ontheedgeofwhatever · 08/09/2012 14:46

My friend asked me if I could look after her 6 year old dd for an hour this morning which I was more than happy to do so she dropped her off at 10am When she hadn't reappeared after 2 hours I tried calling her and got no reply. I couldn't get hold of her and was getting really worried but obviousy not wanting to let her DD know I was concerned.

She finally turned up at 2.15pm saying "sorry I'm a bit late but I bumped into an old university friend and we went for lunch". I lost my temper with her a bit to be honest saying I was really worried about her and that she'd messed up our day

To be honest if she'd called I wouldn't have had a problem and would have just scooped up her dd and taken her to the park and for a picnic which was our plan for the day but with no phone call at all I was getting really worried.

OP posts:
FriedEggsAndHam · 08/09/2012 14:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tutu100 · 08/09/2012 14:48

YANBU, she should have phoned you to ask if it was ok and to check she wasn't spoiling your plans. I hope she was very apologetic.

HairyGrotter · 08/09/2012 14:50

YANBU, it was very rude of her. You are doing her a favour, and she should have kept you up to date with what she was doing, especially as she said she would only be a couple of hours, if she was due to be later, she should have the courtesy to call you!

I'd be pissed off.

Original poster
ontheedgeofwhatever · 08/09/2012 14:51

She was apologetic but kept saying "sorry i didn't think you'd mind and had no idea you'd worry"

of course I worried - she'd left her dd for 3 hours longer than planned without even a quick text or call to let me know she was ok. Luckily her DD was oblivious and having fun playing

OP posts:
Groovee · 08/09/2012 14:52

I'd be fuming too. It takes seconds to text or call and check an extra 3 hours would be fine.

Svrider · 08/09/2012 14:55

Also yeh, she not only didn't phone you, she was also uncontactable
Y didn't she answer the phone??
Yanbu

thewhistler · 08/09/2012 14:56

She was inconsiderate and selfish. To you in the first instance, to your family, and to her daughter. YANBU.

LindyHemming · 08/09/2012 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigsnugglebunny · 08/09/2012 14:59

I'd do the same as Euphemia Grin

But, no - YANBU! That was taking the mickey.

DameEnidsOrange · 08/09/2012 15:01

YANBU I'd have been really annoyed at having my day disrupted

ENormaSnob · 08/09/2012 15:09

I would be absolutely livid.

The cheeky fucking bitch.

RuleBritannia · 08/09/2012 15:10

10.00am for an hour's babysitting but it was after 2 when she returned? Suppose you had an afternoon appointment to which you could not have taken her DD? She was BVU. Leave her alone for a few weeks and let her stew.

WinkyWinkola · 08/09/2012 15:12

Wow. Piss take or what? No more favours.

rubyslippers · 08/09/2012 15:14

I don't believe her story

Sorry - any mum knows the drill! Families have plans at the weekend

She planned to be out for longer - I would put money on it

SirGOLDBoobs · 08/09/2012 15:18

No, YANBU. Cheeky cow! If anyone is looking after DS, I call if I am even going to be five minutes later than anticipated. I was an hour late to pick him up from a friend once due to traffic and still feel horribly guilty about it!

TheCrackFox · 08/09/2012 15:19

I agree with rubyslippers. She had no intention of returning within the hour. Don't do anymore favours for her ever again.

MrsDWho · 08/09/2012 15:31

I also agree, she had no intention to stay out for just an hour.

Whenever my friend has my children, I always text every now and then to check they are behaving and ok. I also text to let her know exactly when I am leaving, and never stay out longer than 2 hours so not to disturb her time even though she always shouts at me to stop worrying and just relax, they are being little angels and there is no rush to get back. I never listen though, and feel dreadful. Even though it happens, at most, twice yearly.

I don't understand how people can do this type of thing. I would be too ridden with guilt to enjoy myself. I hate imposing on others though :/

BadEducation · 08/09/2012 16:27

YANBU at all. She sounds a selfish cow

I had something similar done to me fairly recently. A friend popped round for coffee with her DD then said she had to very quickly nip into town and would be back within the hour, and could she leave DD here. I said yes, as the kids were playing nicely. She was 3 hours!

I was really cross and won't be doing her any favours again in the future. She is a very prickly control freak herself and if I'm even a minute late picking DD up from hers if DD has been after school to play, she is texting and calling and getting stroppy.

wineandroses · 08/09/2012 16:32

Yeah, she was completely taking the piss. Did she give you a reason why you needed you to look after her DC for an hour?

I think she already had a lunch date, thought you'd say no to any longer than an hour so didn't mention it, then made herself uncontactable.

Piss taker. No more favours.

BadEducation · 08/09/2012 16:34

wineandroses has a good point; she probably had the lunch date planned

TheMonster · 08/09/2012 16:38

I'd tell her that I would never look after her child again.

Bossybritches22 · 08/09/2012 16:43

Not only was she taking the piss re the length of time but she turned her phone OFF! What would have happened if her DD was ill with you?

I hate that responsibility of someone elses child not knowing I can get them, & I always used to leave a contact number when leaving mine as smalls.

YANBU

Longdistance · 08/09/2012 16:49

Complete piss take, and I bet she didn't meet an old uni friend either. I bet it was to meet with a bloke.
No more favours for her.

Catsdontcare · 08/09/2012 17:02

I think she had no intention of being just an hour either and that she deliberately ignored your calls.

JamieandOscarSittinginATree · 08/09/2012 17:10

Oh dear, I wouldn't be doing her anymore favours

It's a really thoughtless thing to do to her DD as well

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