AIBU to think armpit hair is a moral issue?

[ICBINEG]

How did it come to pass that the natural appearance of an adult woman has become socially unacceptable?

Adult women have hair on their arms, legs, fanjo and (if you can bear the disgustingness of it all) armpits.

In a not at all surprising turn of events the natural appearance of an adult male is still considered attractive including (god forbid) hairy legs, arms, balls and armpits.

Why have we adopted a prepubescent look as the optimum for women but mysteriously not done the same for men?

AIBU to next shave myself when shaving becomes compulsory for EVERYONE and not just those without a Y chromosome?

Observation of my SIL suggests it can take over a year to unlearn the societal conditioning and start seeing your own hairy armpits as attractive....a whole year to stop thinking the natural female form is repulsive....AIBU in thinking that society is totally fucked up?

Not this AGAIN.

it's not a moral issue. If you want it keep it, and stop questioning the reasons why those who do want to.

I agree. It's awful that we've ended up in this state of self loathing.

I think people can do what they bloody well please with their own bodies. Shaving or not, tattooing or not, sticking pineapples up their arses or not.

I don't live in a world where I let the media get to me though. And if someone tried to judge me for not wearing make up, or for shaving my pits like in this thread, why would I care? It's their own problem, most certainly not mine.

arm pit hair makes you smelly faster. and I find it uncomfortable :/
There is no way I would stop shaving my legs or underarms, I am however 35 weeks pregnant and can no longer see to trim my lady garden and my husband thinks its hilarious and will leave me to give birth with a bush

I conform and shave my armpits and legs when people will see

Not sure why really, I find it a hassle but I guess I must be pretty well conditioned because I won't wear a vest top ifi have hairy armpits.

It shouldn't matter but somehow it does

I don't shave, wax or do anything else to my pubic hair though, I am far too lazy and I can't stand the itching even when I shave the bits that peek out of my swimming costume.

If you can honestly say, hand on heart, that if you were told tomorrow that you can't shave again for some reason that you would be a bit miffed but would get over it and carry on wearing what you normally wear, then yes, you shave for yourself. If on the other hand the prospect of never shaving again makes you feel awful and panicky and makes you think you'll never be able to wear a swimsuit/shorts/sleeveless tops again then, no, you're not shaving for yourself, you're shaving to avoid judgement.

I don't shave much, and I absolutely hate shaving, but when I go swimming or wear something that exposes my pits and legs I do shave. I do it because I don't have the guts to go out hairy, because I don't want to attract attention and have people question me about it. Because I know, through the experiences of my hairy friend, that I would be laughed at and questioned. All. The. Time. How she puts up with it I honestly don't know.

My DH doesn't mind at all if I'm hairy, as long as I'm wearing trousers and sleeves I don't shave. I would love to get to the point where I could just leave the bloody stuff all the time but I can't. I am very very hairy - I have thick dark hair particularly at the tops of my legs, and it is very noticeable.

I am very annoyed at myself that I can't overcome the pressure, and I am very annoyed that the pressure exists.

YANBU at all OP. Although cultural issue is more accurate than moral issue.

FWIW hair doesn't make you more sweaty or smelly. The purpose of the hair is to wick moisture away from your skin and to keep you clean.

Actually I don't find hairy armpits, chests, backs or balls particularly attractive in men. Some men do shave their chests and balls too, quite a few of them also shave their faces. Shaving isn't compulsory for anyone, people choose to or not. You're choosing to shave so are being unreasonable to then complain about it, stop shaving if that's what you want to do.

The last 2 or 3 men I've slept with have had shaven balls and pubes. (spread over 4 years so can't be a brand new thing) I was with ex for 3 years and have never seen his pubic hair.

ghost oh I think this will be an issue until it is okay to have visible pubic hair on women.

I don't have to question why people shave off parts of their hair, or have parts of their anatomy cut off or enhanced. The answer is obvious. What I question is that the world should be that way. That the world wouldn't be a better place if people felt they were attractive and complete the way their genes made them.

tmi coming up

I have been struggling for a year with an infected cyst in my armpit: smelly, painful, leaking pus all over the place- hygienic is not the word you'd use

4 lots of antibiotics and a 40 minutes session of extremely painful surgery have done nothing to shift it

the doctors reckon it might have been brought on by armpit shaving; apparently body hair in that part has a function to fill in terms of hygiene

LOL - I thought that this was going to be about women in 3rd world countries having to use arm pit hair to make cushions or something along those lines. Not, whether or not women should shave their pits!

Of course its not a moral issue! It might be a societal pressure issue, but it has bugger all to do with morality.

calin that is a very good question for the 'I do it for me' crowd.

I have in fact gone natural for a while and kind of forgot when I went swimming. And yes you do get abuse.

I also feel like if I was going to pool anywhere I might meet someone I knew I would definitely shave. It is all about conforming.

If shaving really were a choice then there would be plenty of women about who don't shave. I know at least 100 women and a total of ONE never shaves. She comes up against fierce criticism and ribbing, but withstands it with admirable aplomb.

Shaving is optional for men. Plenty of men (including my DH) sport beards and are hairy all over.

Then it's not really the armpit hair that's the moral issue but the way people react to it. I don't really find people doing the reverse and criticising and putting down people for choosing to shave their pits any more admirable than those who criticise those who choose not to really.

according to my doctor, it's not so much a moral as a medical issue: they are seeing a rise in armpit infections since the new fashion came in and have a job persuading people that shaving off your body hair is not necessarily an aid to hygiene

I think it might be a bit like bananas....

So there are (used to be) LOTS of varieties of bananas in different colours shapes and sizes...but slowly we got used to the idea that a banana is about 6 inches long, yellow and with a specific amount of bend.

Now it's not IMPOSSIBLE to grow other types of bananas today or even sell them...people who grow bananas could be said to be choosing for themselves to sell only the yellow variety...but they don't really have a choice. Not if they want to sell to a supermarket.

and so the loop continues with ever dwindling numbers of anything that isn't the typical banana.

So over a couple of decades we have gone from a slight preference for typical bananas to a mono culture in which only one type is available.

Does anyone still remember if they actually preferred the other types?

Still, no harm done right....until the monoculture dies out for all reasons that monocultures do.....

I don't think anyone on the thread has put down or criticised anyone for shaving. In fact, the only criticism I've seen is of a society that expects women to be a certain way and makes fun of them if they're not.

I don't agree that 'an adult male is still considered attractive including (god forbid) hairy legs, arms, balls and armpits'.

Men these days are expected to be hairless and 'buff' - look at that famous picture of Daniel Craig as James Bond in pale blue swimmies - he has a completely hairless chest. I don't believe that is natural in an adult male - he must have waxed it.

I think it is a shame, as for me there is nothing sexier than a man with a hairy chest. Men in the 70s were hirsute, suddenly there is not a hair to be seen.

There is societal pressure on men and women to remove their body hair so this is not just a woman's issue.

It's not a pre pubescent look, it's just women tend naturally to have less body hair than men, and the shaving/waxing plucking etc just emphasises/exaggerates the difference.

The same with how women use make up to emphasise feminine features, bigger eyes with mascara, etc.

imho, anyway.

There is no moral issue about shaving pits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come on.

There is a whole different question about the pressure on society to conform. It works in our favour for certain things (so not eating with our mouths open, using cutlery) and not for others. Whatever society you live in, will apply a degree of majority pressure on everyone to conform. If you want to be different, then you are going to have to develop a thick skin.

It's fun playing bingo on these threads ICBINEG. You always get -

'I choose it all by my own'

'it's cleaner'

'men do it too'

and eventually, someone will say, 'ewwww'

lubey is it actually true that women would have less hair than men if they didn't start shaving aged...what...12?

This is so deeply ingrained I actually can't imagine what natural female leg hair looks like.

Certainly mine own rivals my DH's. The one girl I knew at school who didn't shave her legs had thick black leg hair. No-one critisised her at all....no sirree bob...not a day of bullying...oh wait that's not quite true.

You can't really see my leg hair above the knee unless you are having a very close inspection. It is certainly far less visible than the hair on my arms. Below the knee there is some hair but nowhere near as much as on DH.

I shave my legs (when I can remember) in the summer, and feel quite embarrassed if I haven't. In the winter I grow my leg hair and it really keeps my legs warm

I don't know, to me inferring that anyone who says they choose to do this are only doing so because they've been conditioned does seem critical and quite a condescending thing to say to me.