Am i being unreasonable?

[RandomUsername]

This is a bit of a long story so im going to shorten it as best as i can.

5 months ago i had my second baby, put on 3 stone had have been incredibly insecure about my body ever since, i done an exercise dvd and started eating healthy and lost 2 stone, i still have a stone to lose and im struggling.

I mentioned a few times to my partner that id love to go to the gym, ive never been to one before, there isnt one in our town and i dont drive (yet)

Partner says he woud take me to his old gym sometime, that we would ''do it together'' that he ''supported me'' blah blah blah

Fast forward 5 months, still havent been able to get to the gym, mainly because i cant get there and also because i have nobody to look after the kids and also because my partner didnt want to go.

Then last week i get a text off him saying he was going to the gym. Now he's known for 5 months that ive wanted to go, but did he offer to take me? Nope. Went by himself and left me at home with the kids.

So i was really fucking upset, said to him ''i thought we where gonna do it together, i need the gym a hell of a lot more than you do'' etc

So he turns on me ''its not up to me to organize your life, if you wanted to go to the gym id look after the kids'' (how kind of him hey?) i said ''and how am i supposed to get there? On the fucking bus? Come back on the bus all sweaty?'' and he just kept saying it wasnt his problem!

Now, am i being unreasonable to be upset? He told me we would do it together, but he never needed the gym so didnt bother to help me out, but now because he wants to go he just fucks off and doesnt give a shit about me?

Probably sounds very petty but ive really struggled with my body since DS2 came along, nobody knows this more than my partner, he KNOWS that ive been dying to go to the gym and now he's going 3-4 times a week and telling me that i should ''sort myself out'' even though he told me ''we'll sort something out, dont worry''

Personally I think you are being defeatist which is a real shame as you done so well up to this point.
Logistically the gym was never an option for me as I had nobody to look after DS (DH does killer hours at the moment) and I work all day. So I bought a cheap exercise bike, ran in the evenings that DH was about (needed no planning I could just go!), did Wii just dance (was a laugh as well as knackering) - these are just examples but what I'm trying to get at is you can work within the constraints you have, it just takes a bit of imagination.

I suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder too, a pair of headphones with my favourite music playing works wonders, could you give that a shot?

Ni i dont have time with friends or family without having the kids with me, i have a cousin close by who i could hang out with, but id be expected to take the kids with me, in fact ive just text her, im going to see if she fancys doing something on saturday, and he can stay home with the kids.

You know the funny thing is, when this all happened the other day he actually said to me ''i know, if the boot was on the other foot id be pissed off aswell'' because he recently had 4 days off work and he was so stressed being home with the kids all day (even though i was there too) he said he couldnt cope being cooped up here all day. So he knows exactly how i feel, claims to understand, but then still fucks off and leaves me.

He's just come in from work at 2pm, got changed and pissed of to the gym. I wish i could just piss of whenever i want without being made to feel guilty.

I feel almost like he's rubbing salt in the wound, he knows ive struggles being stuck home with the kids 24/7, he knows ive struggles with my weight/body since the baby and knows ive been dying to get to the gym, but he doesnt give me a second thought, just comes in and says ''right, im off to the gym''

Im actually raging at the minute.

*struggled i meant!

So is this a transport issue - you can't get to the gym without him? I can see why you're upset but you can't rely on him to sort out your weight issues.

Are there no other excercise classes within walking distance? It seems like every church/village hall round here has slimming world/weight watchers/zumba class/yoga/pilates.....

I found a few classes nearby and told my DH when/where I was going...and went. Between that and all the walking with dc's in the buggy the weight drops off.

When he comes back go out. Leave him with the kids, even if it's just for 5 or 10 minutes and walk or something. Later when the DC's are in bed have a proper talk with him and sort something out. I've just read this back and realised that it sounds really easy, when the reality that it isn't and RL is messy and difficult and doesn't run to plan. You know what you can cope with.

Getting out with your cousin on Saturday sounds like a good idea. And stick with the driving lessons.

If it wasn't as bad when your eldest was little, it could just be that you both need to sort out new routines, so you don't feel stuck at home all the time.

Ive just been having a look on the net and found a dance exercise class being held in the secondary school in my town, ive emailed to see if they have an places, its only £5, would prefer it if i had somebody to go with, but if i have to go on my own then theres nothing i can do about it.

Graceful, we've talked about this sort of thing loads of times, he either gets defensive or says ''you can do what you want when you want'' but the reality is that i cant!!! Its so frustrating.

"Do you have to"

"Yes, I do"

You don't have to feel guilty, he's not.

Maybe he thought you were no longer interested in going to the gym. You mentioned months ago that it was something you wanted to do, and from what I can gather nothing else happened. Just you think that maybe some have creches..
If you were really interested you would have found out everything, joined and been using the gym for the past 5 months.