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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If you worked in a school, would you want your DCs to attend?

57 replies

songbird33 · 04/09/2012 21:26

I really don't want my children to come to the school I work in, as I can't help but think the potential for embarrassment (mine and DCs!) is huge.

DH thinks I am being silly and as the secondary I work at is the best in the area, the DCs should attend.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:

KenDoddsDadsDog · 04/09/2012 21:27

My mam was a teacher at my school. Mortifying.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 04/09/2012 21:28

If it is the best in the area then I would put my children's education before our wants to remain unembarrased.

What are the other options near you like? It depends on whether they are good options or not.

nokidshere · 04/09/2012 21:29

YABU to not let your children go to a good school just because you are in it! I know lots of people who work in the same school as their children - most of the time they rarely even bump into each other. But, even for the ones who have actually taught their own child, its not the end of the world!

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 04/09/2012 21:29

I was at a school where I had a friend who was the Head's DD. She hated it. Have you asked DCs?

Trills · 04/09/2012 21:29

You haven't asked if you are being unreasonable.

I think that you are being unreasonable, because I think the convenience would far outweigh the potential embarrassment.

HedgeHogGroup · 04/09/2012 21:29

My littlest comes to my nursery (I'm head). He loves it and thinks assemblies are just a conversation between him and I

MrsKeithRichards · 04/09/2012 21:30

I would avoid it if possible.

MrsHerculePoirot · 04/09/2012 21:31

One of my best friends at school's dad worked there. We knew it, but mostly it was ignored and the school just made it that he never taught us.

I teach now and lots of my colleagues have/have had children at our school and it is usually fine tbh.

Original poster

songbird33 · 04/09/2012 21:31

Freddos - it isn't for my embarrassment, as you put it. I'm thinking of the DCs and the potential to be embarrassed by me.

If they want to bring a friend home for tea, if they get a detention with their mum's friend who she does yoga with, if I end up covering a lesson and having to tell their best mate off. That sort of embarrassment. I am a grown woman and I can handle it - not so sure about an 11 year old.

OP posts:

freemanbatch · 04/09/2012 21:33

I wouldn't want my kids at the school I taught at (if I ever find a new job) school is a child's private space and work is an adult's private space. combining the two removes the privacy for both of you. Also there will always be a moment, however small, where a teacher says something that you would rather not hear and as a relative of mine found out you can end up knowing every error your kids make just because you're there when they would never ring any other child's parent to tell them.

Good schools are hard to come by but a happy life is not all down to a good school

JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 04/09/2012 21:34

I believe I work in the best school in the area.

My son will start Y7 tomorrow.

However, I agree that parents and children do not mix. DH has taken tomorrow off to do the initial drop as I wish to distance myself from my son.

Given we are a London borough with the choice of 14 secondary schools in easy distance, the majority of staff send their children where we work. It isn't because of ease of travel. My other two children go to different schools, which suited their needs. Personal view, you should pick a school for your childs needs, not ease of having siblings in one place.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 04/09/2012 21:35

When I said our, I was talking about what I would do (as that's how you phrased your AIBU) so I was referring to me and my children.

I still think it depends what the other options are like. You could just be trying to look for the lesser of two evils.

dikkertjedap · 04/09/2012 21:35

Depends how good the school is. If it is a good school then YABU.

Evasmum12 · 04/09/2012 21:35

Two of my friend's parents worked at our high school. One was a caretaker, which was fine, the other was the attendance officer so my friend got a lot of stick when his mum had to discipline his friends!

Depends on the role and high school or primary..

Original poster

songbird33 · 04/09/2012 21:37

Jumping - we don't have as many choices as that. The children will attend the same secondary school. There are really three choices: my school and two others. The other two are OK - not as good asthe one I work at but certainly not the Bronx :)

I really would rather they did not attend my school but DH is convinced I'm being ridiculous.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 04/09/2012 21:38

It would depend on the school.

If it was the best school to us, then probably yes.
If there were others that were equally as good I'd possibly chose a different one.
If others were better, I'd want DD to go elsewhere.

DD's classmate's mum is a teacher at their school, she teaches them regularly. It is fine and there are no problems. But this is a very small primary.
My uncle's children went to his secondary school as it was by far better than others near them. Again knew of no issues for my cousins.

echt · 04/09/2012 21:38

DD was always horrified at the thought of my teaching in her school. I think it's the privacy issue. I also wouldn't want her hearing someone call me a bitch.

Even though I can be one.:o

Original poster

songbird33 · 04/09/2012 21:39

Probably wouldn't be as bothered for primary to be honest.

It's secondary.

OP posts:

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 04/09/2012 21:39

Are they old enough that you could ask your children what they think?

Mine both had opinions on their secondary school in Y5.

corlan · 04/09/2012 21:40

I've known TA's who worked at the same school their children attended and it hasn't been too bad. Of course, it's fairly easy for a TA to avoid supporting students in the same year as their child. If you're a teacher, it's a lot harder and students tend to have much stronger feelings about teachers so there is more potential for conflict.

You could always give it a go and then you could change schools if it doesn't work out.

larks35 · 04/09/2012 21:41

YABU. Many of the teachers and other staff at the secondary school I work at have DCs who attend. It is a large and very successful comprehensive. I think there is a little teasing but not much, their children seem to thrive both socially and academically. I would love my (very young) DCs to attend as I know they would thrive here, but we currently live 15miles away. DP and I are considering moving at some point to be in the catchment area.

If it's a good school and you have a good relationship with your DCs I can't understand why you wouldn't want them to attend. It is very unlikely (I think unallowed) that you would actually teach them yourself.

Goldidi · 04/09/2012 21:42

My dd doesn't come to my school because even though mine is supposedly the 'best' in the area none of her friends were going there and the closer school they were going to isn't far behind my school.

We do have a lot of teachers who bring their kids to our school. The kids don't mind, nobody picks on them, they are perfectly happy at the same school as their parents. One family even has both parents and 5 kids all at our school this year and they are all very popular.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 04/09/2012 21:43

Is the school you work in big enough that you would be able to avoid each other? Or is it quite small?

Feenie · 04/09/2012 21:46

Didn't send ds to my school because he is too clingy and I am too nosey.

Worst example I've heard of is dh's friend whose mother was a supply teacher for his class in Y6 - he was giving her lip so she put him over her knee and spanked him in front of the class.

Actually, that explains a lot about this 'friend' now I come to think of it...

Original poster

songbird33 · 04/09/2012 21:49

Feenie that's awful - I'd never do that.

Freddos, to be honest DD wants to go where her best friend is going. Since this changes on a weekly basis it isn't informative!

My school is large enough but I'm not inconspicuous there. Other children would know I was the mother of my DCs.

I appreciate it works for other people but I don't think that in itself makes me unreasonable. I want to make the best decision for my family and I don't want my DCs feeling they can't relax and be themselves at secondary school because Mum will get to hear everything.

OP posts:

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