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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think they could have said sooner?

96 replies

OhTheConfusion · 03/09/2012 23:17

DH is currently working away from home. He was discussing accomodation with a workmate 8 weeks ago and said he was going to book a weekend down in July to view rooms to let etc with a view to move in on Sep 2nd (yesterday). Workmate responded that he and DW were a bit hard up and have a spare room he could let for £300pcm. Excellent. DH said that was ideal, and caught a flight there yesterday afternoon.

Tonight DH handed the workmate an envelope with £300 in it for rent. Workmate responded that he is really sorry but he hadn't mentioned the arrangement to his DW and his DW had managed to get extra hours at work and they no longer need a lodger so how about they just call it £50 and DH finds somewhere else tomorrow!!!

I have just booked DH a hotel for a few nights until we can arrange for him to view rooms. God knows how long references etc will take and how big the hotel bill will end up :( It's already roughly a weeks rent for a room for one night!

AIBU to feel annoyed?

OP posts:

trixymalixy · 04/09/2012 22:21

YANBU, shockingly rude behaviour from his workmate.

ShiftyFades · 04/09/2012 22:47

How awful of your DHs work "mate"
Echo the "make sure the office gossips get to hear" suggestion. He can do this while he asks about other rooms

Can't believe what a bitch the wife is being. I wonder if the "mate" didn't tell her until Sat / Sun and she's veto'd the idea?

But, regardless of the turnaround, to charge even 50p is disgusting

Wish I lived near Exeter so I could offer something

Original poster

OhTheConfusion · 05/09/2012 00:54

Hi everyone, I am knackered but can't sleep so thought I would update you all.

DH is tucked up in the b&b, he said it's basic but atleast he feels welcome. Reading between the lines he seems lonely, a bit depressed and frustrated :(

He had four call backs tonight, three of the rooms have gone already and the other one wants a female flatmate! I guess tomorrow (well today) is another day. The hunt continues.

OP posts:

Toughasoldboots · 05/09/2012 01:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ripsishere · 05/09/2012 01:47

I hope something turns up for him. My DH has done this to me in the past, I would just be sitting at home with DD and he rocks up with a random person that he'd met.
We had Ron for three months rent free. The woman (and it sounds as if it was her) is a cunt.

Thumbwitch · 05/09/2012 03:03

What a pair of bastards they are!
Am disgusted and hope that they break a tooth or several on the presents you sent for them.

I hope something turns up for your DH very soon.

suburbophobe · 05/09/2012 03:08

Haven't read all the replies but am I the only one to think that your DH had 8 weeks to sort out his accomodation situation and to consider all options, not just go on a whim by a workmate?

Why blame him and the wife for changing their mind? Anything can happen in 2 months.

ElaineBenes · 05/09/2012 03:14

Surbaphobe

You should read the whole thread. The ops dh has been treated atrociously. They had an agreement which not only did this couple renege on but behaved so appallingly about it.

Op, hope it all works out for your dh and that some karma comes to his work colleague. I think the idea of spreading it around the office is a great one :)

Original poster

OhTheConfusion · 05/09/2012 08:33

Surbaphobe, I love that you don't have time to read the whole thread but you do have time to pass comment in such a negative way

DH was looking at other options, his 'workmate' and his W needed the extra money and the 'workmate' asked DH if he would like to rent a room from them as they would rather have a lodger they knew. DH and him spoke over the summer and no change was mentioned.

Yes a lot of things can happen in 8 weeks, but as the title said "AIBU to think they could have said sooner?"

OP posts:

Original poster

OhTheConfusion · 05/09/2012 08:37

Morning everyone else :)

Just about to call about a few more rooms. The B&B landlady offered DH a room (room only basis) on a short term let out of season for £320 a month before he left for work. He said he would let her know this evening.

I think he is worried about the lack of washing machine, cooking facilities etc :(

OP posts:

ShiftyFades · 05/09/2012 08:43

Could he ask if he can use the kitchen? Especially if it's off season.
Washing is a pain but as long as he's home each weekend it should be doable.
At least it's something for now..

Original poster

OhTheConfusion · 05/09/2012 08:46

I will get him to ask Shifty. He is only home once or twice a month as it's so far away so would need to find a laundrette. Just trying to add up all the extra costs involved

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 05/09/2012 08:50

Don't see why he needs a washing machine. My DH just used to bring his home with him. Cooking more of a problem.

Here's an 'out there' idea: Someone we know worked away and stayed in a caravan on a farm during the week. Most caravan sites shut down in the winter, or you're not allowed to 'live' there, but on a farm is different. In fact there was another chap there whose permanent home it was. Warm, comfortable and with cooking/shower facilites. Worth a look?

Overcooked · 05/09/2012 08:50

Ho op, is he home every weekend, could he cope shortish term wihtout a washing machine, I guess it would take the pressure off a bit...

Did you say you were hoping it would only be a month or so anyway perhaps you could try and work it for the time being - I am trying to be optomistic, sometimes it rubs off!

wonkylegs · 05/09/2012 08:54

I lived for a year without a washing machine at uni. Washed underwear, t-shirts etc by hand in the sink, had enough of the bigger stuff that I could do a fortnightly launderette run. It's a bit of a lifestyle change but doable esp if it's just one person.

charlearose · 05/09/2012 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kim147 · 05/09/2012 09:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShiftyFades · 05/09/2012 09:46

Once or twice a month will make washing difficult.
But if he's free at weekends he might be able to find a local launderette to do work clothes and undies every other week.
Such a pain having to organise things like this when you're not together.
Really feel for you both

Spuddybean · 05/09/2012 10:24

Surbaphobe - i'm not really sure why someone would continue looking at rooms and wasting everyones time if an arrangement had been made. Why would anyone do that?

OP - When i was at uni i had no washing machine or launderette for a year. I bought really cheap pants which i binned, washed out a few things in the sink and took the big stuff home monthly (5 pairs of trousers, 2 jeans etc if rotated and aired can last a few wears each). Not sure if that is doable?

Not sure what the area is like but there are no launderettes near us. Our washing machine broke and we hunted high and low but there were none. Washing machines are too cheap now apparently!

I would defo ask the landlady about use of facilities. Good luck :)

plutocrap · 05/09/2012 13:52

We're using a launsromat at the ni, and it's bloody expensive! £3 per load= £6 a time, since i'm separating lights from darks. then a further 20p per load to spin. thank goodness I'm not havibg ti dry, too!

Hotcoffeeisamemory · 05/09/2012 14:08

Good god, I am slack jawed at the audacity of the people who agreed to have him. What utter fuckers.

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