To ask what your perception of OCD is?

[littlemisssunny]

Following on from the other thread about OCD I just wondered if you would mind telling me what your perception of OCD is?

I have suffered with it for over 20 years now, and think it is more common than people realise, I know a fair few people with it, who I think only admitted it after they found out I suffer with it.

It is a very taboo subject and I think the more people talk about it the better understanding there is.

I feel for me there is no cure, but I learn how to deal with things so it's more bearable. It gets worse when I am anxious though.

I am happy to answer any questions, and if others would like to input their personal experiences then please do.

I do think it is somewhat trivialized by people saying they are a bit OCD trust me if you have it you know about it, but I know they aren't doing it to offend anyone, just that they don't fully understand it.

Trazzletoes I reckon more people do have these thoughts but just don't admit to them for fear of being branded a weirdo. I used to babysit a 7 year old boy and worried that I might inappropriately touch him. I never ever would and think paedos are despicable, so I still don't know where this particular notion came from! There was none of the "I must think/do this, or my loved ones will come to harm" either. I worry about dropping my friend's baby too, or kicking him when he's crawling, but I instantly quash the thought because I know I wouldn't. It's the fear that I might that gets me. I have read that people who have thoughts about harming their loved ones are the least likely people to actually do it. People with OCD aren't sociopaths.

Oh I know they aren't (see upthread that both DM and DSis have OCD) and also I agree that i would absolutely never try to find out because the end result may well be death/serious injury. I would never want to hurt anyone.

Don't worry, I wasn't accusing anyone of thinking OCD sufferers are sociopaths. I would never want to hurt anyone either, which is why I'm worried if I told people in RL that I did have these thoughts, then they may assume I was going to act on them and think I'm crazy or never let me be around their kids. That would hurt more than admitting to everyone I had a problem. That's why I find forums so helpful, and think it's so important to change perceptions about mental health issues.

I have OCD and manage it with antidepressants and counselling. For me, the checking/doubting etc is the physical manifestation that eases the stress going on in my head. So the actual obsession for me is the intrusive thoughts, when these get bad, correspondingly my checking things ramps a notch etc.

I think the impact on family can be horrific. Mine is learnt from a parent, having lived my childhood within my parent's OCD 'rules'. I think the danger is often someone with OCd doesn't know that what they're doing is odd. I still have to ask friends now for a reference point to measure my behaviour against.

I was adamant I would fight it because there is no way on this earth I'm going to turn my children into this. Every day is a battle.

I used to have full blown OCD.

Weird phobias , checking , fear of contamination , intrusive thoughts , rituals the lot.

I think i can also come with other things - now "just" have severe (but well controlled) depression and anxiety. These were not diagnosed when i was 12 like the OCD as i think all my issues were put down to that. But it wasnt known about at all back then so im not surprised. It is a horrific illness and although i accept you can have it mildly it is not what most people think : an easy disorder to live with or a liking of cleanliness.

I had no childhood after the age of 11. I seriously thought i would not live to see 18. Or 21. My teenage years were a living hell and i only really became anywhere near stable at about 23. I hope it continues as i swore i would never allow myself to become as ill or live the way i had to at 12/13/14 etc.

I'm borderline, as I imagine are a lot of people. It was a counsellor who first used the term in relation to me - I went to him for depression and he was like, "Look, I don't think you're depressed, I think you've got mild OCD and anxiety and could use an SSRI to chill the fuck out". It was a lightbulb moment. My GP didn't want to diagnose me because I don't touch a wooden surface or whatever whenever I get an intrusive thought, which seems to kind of misunderstand the condition and how varied it is

Mine is mainly ruminating over and over on obsessive thoughts, especially when I'm stressed (I am also a highly anxious person, which often seems to go hand in hand). But I've always had weird issues with symmetry and having things covered up (can't stand scribbling and doodling because it leaves "holes" that aren't coloured in - I get itchy thinking about it) and I have serious (but ridiculous) rituals that I must perform or the world will implode/explode/whatever.

Reading this back I sound seriously disturbed. I swear I'm relatively normal

I think one of the big things about OCD is that I know I am being totally irrational, especially with hand washing, but I still have to do it as I worry so much about contamination.

It's like when I use raw chicken, I wear disposable gloves, cut the package with a knife and put it straight into the sink, then once the packaging is in the bin and the chicken in the pan I have to wipe the surfaces and the floor and the bin in case the raw chicken dripped anywhere and then wash my hands. I know most people would wash their hands after touching it, but probably not the rest.

I don't know sometimes where people would stop if they didn't have OCD and how irrational I'm being, but don't feel I can go up to someone random and ask them!!

It had never occured to me that my intrusive thoughts and anxiety could all be part of it - you have opened my eyes.

I handwash (better than I was, bit they still bleed sometimes), check things over and over and also set deadlines for things - must be done by X time etc.

I have had OCD since I was 11yrs, it started when I changed from Primary to Secondary school. Back then, it involved checking school books, PE kit and keys. I would take all my textbooks and workbooks with me to school and carry my PE kit around too, continuously checking I had everything. After school, I would sit in my room for an hour counting my books and checking they had my name one. It was mentally exhausting. Due to bullying, I changed schools within the first year of secondary and the checking / counting stopped. The only reason I can think of why this started my OCD off, is the fear of getting into trouble at school, even though I was very well behaved.

15 years later, it's more of a cleaning OCD and some checking compulsions. With the help of CBT it's more manageable and doesn't control my life as much as it did a few years back.

I wasn't diagnosed until 2 years ago, I wasn't aware that I had OCD, it was just something I always did. When I was a child I found it very frightening, I never told anyone about my checking compulsions as I thought people would think I was crazy.

My DF has OCD, first developed when he was about 16 and has got much worse in the last few years due to him losing his job. I found it really hard to live with as there were so many little rules that we have to obey for him to feel ok. Main issues were complete revulsion with dirty laundry so constantly washing clothes and anywhere he has seen eg a laundry basket is then contaminated so if you even stand in that contaminated place you are yourself then contaminated. He is definitely not very huggy which is probably related and I would have liked to have a father who could hug me. Luckily I had grandfathers who did not have OCD. Also hand washing and hoarding of books and papers. The hoarding meant that I never felt comfortable inviting friends round so impacted on how social I was - feel like I mever got to practice having friends round as a child or teenager. Luckily neither my DB nor I suffer from OCD although I did have issues with EDs and my DB with hypocondria for a while which may be linked.

I think public perception of OCD is very much "oh I like things clean/neat" and public is less aware of the other side of the condition - the intrusive thoughts.

lucjam Are you me?!

The health anxiety I suffer from is exactly the same as you describe! I start counselling next week to try and come off ADs.
At least the obsessive cleaning has stopped. Onwards and upwards.

perplexed oh I feel for you, are you getting CBT that was my saviour. I'm currently on ovarian cancer but trying not to think too much about it, PM me if you want to chat.