To ask what your perception of OCD is?

[littlemisssunny]

Following on from the other thread about OCD I just wondered if you would mind telling me what your perception of OCD is?

I have suffered with it for over 20 years now, and think it is more common than people realise, I know a fair few people with it, who I think only admitted it after they found out I suffer with it.

It is a very taboo subject and I think the more people talk about it the better understanding there is.

I feel for me there is no cure, but I learn how to deal with things so it's more bearable. It gets worse when I am anxious though.

I am happy to answer any questions, and if others would like to input their personal experiences then please do.

I do think it is somewhat trivialized by people saying they are a bit OCD trust me if you have it you know about it, but I know they aren't doing it to offend anyone, just that they don't fully understand it.

I used to have a touch of it when I was about 17.

Whenever somebody spoke to me I would absolutely have to work out whether the sentence they had just spoken had an odd or even amount of syllables. I would obsessively click my wrists. I couldn't move on until I heard my wrist click.
It was, as somebody else mentioned, so tiring

Looking back, it was a very low, lonely time in my life and thankfully I grew out of it.

I think i am quite lucky with my ocd i have a handle on it most of the time and the obsessions and compulsions i have i do seem to manage to keep to myself unless i am stressed or anxious and then i act like a crazy person who knows what she is doing is crazy but couldnt stop for love nor money

I think everyone who suffers from ocd posting how it effects them in the many different ways it does may help people understand it better which can only be a good thing

My OCD- i count in my head randomly and it keeps me calm and functional while doing other things, i put things in order not usually in a way that makes sense to anyone but me because for me its just right which is one of the key words of my ocd is making everything feel just right and not being able to stop/finish untill i feel it is just right especially when im speaking or trying to make myself understood it generally takes 4 times as long for me to explain anything because i have to say everything thats why i am hyper truthful and hyper responsible for things that dont actually matter and then rechecking to make sure everything is done just right

blackberry usually your gp will carry out an assessment then refer you to a mental health team who carry out more assessments hcps can include mh nurses, specialist consultants psychologists/psychiatrists although people's experiences and the hcps they have contact with can differ.

Treatment can depend on how severe the symptoms are. It can include cbt, ssri's, exposure and response preventions. Children are usually refered to CAMHS.

Blackberry - from what I can remember I was diagnosed via help from an outside social services source, I went to sessions called "child guidance" for a while. I am sure a gp could initially help now though. I was eventually ( at age 17) offered CBT, as i said, when i was younger it was
not an easily recognised condition, especially in young children, but i believe help is much more accessible now, without the stigma. HTH

Blackberry I can only speak about my family, but DSis was diagnosed by her GP and then got counselling (adamant she didn't want medication). DM is already receiving counselling on a related matter and has 'realised' she has it so it's being dealt with at the same time.

I think it's fair to say it may not impact others who aren't close to the sufferer, but my family's lives have definitely impacted on me. I spent ages trying to get my sister some help and ages crying at home when she (and DM) proclaimed her behaviour to be normal. When you can't do stuff because someone can't get out of the house. Ffs she was my bridesmaid and was walked up the aisle practically looking backwards to check she hadn't dropped anything important. When you have to turn up at her house with food and drink because she won't use her fridge/freezer. The list goes on. It was so flipping exhausting, God only knows how exhausting it must have been for her!

What amazes me is that DM and I watched the recent Channel 4 programmes on it and DM happily was saying: well, at least DSis' wasn't so bad really... She still maintains that DSis' behaviours were almost entirely normal and just got a little out of hand. I had to go through it all over again with her and spell out just how bad it had been. She was shocked and said she didn't know she knew perfectly well!

I hope this post doesn't sound as if it's all me, me, me but someone up thread was asking how much it affects other people so I'm just trying to explain from my point of view.

On one of the Channel 4 programmes, a boy killed himself because he couldn't live with it - hed got to the point where he couldn't sit down at all anymore. It was devastatingly sad.

DH does all the usual things: checking and counting. But for him the worst is the obsessive thoughts. He gets something stuck in his head and it won't get out. He agonizes and agonizes about it, asking the same questions over and over and over again. It's like an endless loop.

I had OCD from about 8-9, Im a natural born worrier. Id have to (HAVE TO) to certain rituals otherwise my parents wouldnt make it back from their shopping trip alive. It got quite ridiculous at one point. No one noticed. I stopped by the time I was about 12, after that Id force myself to go against my urges. Then when I was 15 I read an article about OCD, having completely forgotton about what I used to do, I never made the connection. It wasnt until about year later something reminded me about one of my many rituals and the article sprang to mind.

I was shocked that it was a known 'thing'. I thought it was just me being me!

As an adult, I over worry and dramatise things in my head (I keep that very quiet to the outside world!) and internally panic when everyone around me thinks Im coping well. During times of stress I get the 'urge' to star doing things for example I'll think to myself if I havent opened the tooth paste, wet the brush and put the toothpaste on by the time DC has reached the top step then something bad will happen.

I deliberately stop and DONT do the thing I thought. I know if I do it once I might do it everytime.

But its so occasional, once a year probably so its all in check.

I think it must be incredibly limiting for the sufferer and by extension their family.
Not sure if Cbt or meds could help?
Not sure how it's dx either....

My perception is that people don't think it's a real mental illness. I am quite tidy which doesn't help. I rarely tell people stuff like driving to a meeting in tears yesterday because I really badly wanted to go home and check I'd turned my straightening irons off (I "knew" I had) but couldn't be late for an important meeting.

My first husband tried to cure me. It was something that made the relationship abusive, I was in a constant state of panic.

I frequently have to drive around the block to check that the drain I went over wasn't me running someone over. Check locks. Check cookers off.
The irrational thoughts have got better over the years, in the main, but a bit of stress and it's here we go again.
It doesn't help that the bitch on my birth certificate used to just belt me when I was sixteen and coming back to check the door was locked or the cooker was off. Coping strategies would have been kinder and more beneficial long term. She still can't see that and she's 76, but then again, she's the reason.

My perception of it is that it's an anxiety type disorder where people use rituals and repeating things to ease anxiety for things that worry them, which non OCD people wouldn't worry about.

There was a recent documentary on BBC4 about it. I found it really interesting as I've suffered from OCD since I was 9 or so. It'll still be on iPlayer - it was called Growing Children.

One of the points made in it was that reasserting "checking" habits effectively reinforced them. So the more we turn back halfway from work to check the gas is really off the more we're likely to want/need to do it.

Which did make sense to me - as a child I was a compulsive handwasher and I did manage to talk myself down from it at its worst by making myself "sit it out".

I would say that DH has 'a bit of OCD' (and he'd agree). By that I don't mean he's a 'neat freak'; I mean he has proper OCD but its a bit limited in scope. It could be worse. It still affects my life in various ways though.

He has checking rituals. It takes ages to leave the house because he keeps checking things again. He has to check doors that haven't been opened in months to see if they're locked. He checks that I've locked the door even though he's watched me do it. I have to demonstrate to him that I've locked the car.

He's obsessed with the idea that food might be off or bad for him. This one drives me completely mad. I've had to tell him that it is really rude and insulting to have someone inspect their dinner with a look of suspicion on their face (that I've spent ages cooking) before eating any. That drives MIL mad too. DH is particularly obsessed with the idea that milk might be off, to the point that we have to throw out perfectly good milk regularly. He won't eat food with bones in it, which seriously reduces what we can eat.

And he's totally paranoid about all sorts of silly things with the kids. He imagines improbable scenarios where they'll get hurt/something bad will happen to them and makes rules to keep them 'safe'. We have quite a lot of arguments about this, as he refuses to accept that he's being ridiculous and I don't want the kids to think this is normal. For example, he gets panicky about the sun and (tries to) insist that DS2 wears sun cream at inappropriate times. I'm not making DS2 wear sun cream in November (in NE England) It gets very tiring explaining over and over again that people actually need sunlight on their skin.

I'm much less patient about this than I used to be. The biggest problem is that on some level DH thinks his behavious is rational. Or at least he tries to rationalise it. Apparently, his checking is validated by the fact that sometimes the kettle might not be turned off at the plug (and therefore liable to burn the house down). That's probably the most difficult to deal with aspect of it. It's exasperating having to explain over and over again that the world will not end if the door between the garage and the house isn't locked before we go to bed (given that both the garage and the house are, and anyone breaking in would have to attempt to climb over the mounds of crap that DH insists on storing in there).

I have BPD, and certainly have both obsessive and compulsive issues.

One of the worst times was when I had a box of worry dolls to try and ease off my anxiety. I became convinced that if I didn't say the same worry to the same doll at the same time in the same order each night, something terrible was going to happen; namely that my worries would come true. This went on for a good year or so, and got worse, because I then became terrified of all the things I wasn't telling the dolls... In the end, when it got so overwhelming, I threw them away. It meant I sobbed hysterically and screamed and didn't sleep for a good month, but they were gone.

Other things have happened to tie in with the OCD side of my condition (a big part of BPD is compulsive actions and lack of control), and they make everything amazingly difficult. Agree there is a huge misunderstanding surrounding OCD, along with a lot of other mental (and physical) health conditons.

severe OCD is heartbreaking to witness. People have horrific intrusive thoughts often violent and disturbing images. The obsessive, repetitive behaviors are a way to try and reduce and suppress these thoughts and images. I was a 19 year old student nurse when i did my mental health placement. I was working in the acute assessment unit and it is something i will never forget, I hate it when people give themselves a google diagnosis.

I dont think any medical condition has ever upset me as much as witnessing OCD since I began nursing.

Dd nearly 16 was diagnosed at 11.

It's not just " oh I have to have the magazines all neat and tidy".

For her, it is intrusive thoughts, a fear of her actions hurting others and a morbid and irrational fear of things such as vomit.
I have seen her go to bed at 6pm for 3 years as she had to say a 4 page prayer. If she missed a bit out, she would have to go back to the beginning. Obviously this caused friendship issues...no friends for tea or sleepovers at this stage.

She has self harmed, couldn't eat out, meal times horrendous.

Thank god she is managing to cope better. I went through times When I thought she'd be better off not here as shewas so unhappy.

I feel now I have my dd back, and she is doing well.

My DH seems to have it to, him and my DD both have the same genetic condition, of which anxiety is a sympton. His is in checking things. If sneaks back to work to check other people have done things they should eg hang keys from the van they were in up, he goes over and over again resetting his alarm. He has recently started prozac for anxiety and has noticed a big difference in his habits.

A dear childhood friend of mind has it and I've watched her struggle with it for over 20 years and the effect on her life has been tremendous. She can't drive, hasn't driven for over 10 years, because one of her obsessions is that she has run someone over but didn't see and has somehow missed it. She used to drive 200m. Stop the car. Get out. Search the road. Get in. Drive another 200m. Stop the car. Get out. Search...
...It's a vicious, vicious illness.

I can always hear when her medication needs adjusting because she starts these spiralling, circular conversations and it's a sign that things are starting to go awry. Over the years, I have been so frustrated and angry. Not at her, but at the illness that has my incredibly funny, smart and bright friend held so tight in its grip. She would have liked to have had a family, but for various reasons that has not happened and is not likely to now. Not all to do with OCD, but it has certainly played a key part.

She finds it hard to travel because one of her obsessions is about disease; another one about dirt and there are many others as well. Her life is a constant battle against letting these compulsions/obsessions dictate her every move. But through it all, she maintains her razor sharp with and fortitude about it all. It is part of why I love her so.

It still surprises me how many people assume that OCD is just a case of people wanting things to be neat and tidy or being fastidious.

I think the intrusive thoughts are more or less an unknown symtom, everyone seems to think its cleanliness, rituals etc.

My DD was convinced she would hurt herself if she saw a knife, its like she would have no way of stopping it. She would have thoughts about hurting her sister, or me slitting her throat. She would look at her white shirt and see blood seeping through. It broke my heart to have her ask me if I was going to hurt her, she was utterly terrified. I still haven't gotten over it.

She had a complete mental breakdown aged 11 and saw a wonderful therapist, shes 14 now and it is under good control.
She needed to learn to get the upper hand. She was reading a book and it made her "feel funny" so she knew to stop.

I think you're right about about the intrusive thoughts, they are less known about. People generally think OCD means you have an immaculate spotless house.

I'm the opposite, I can't bear to throw things away, I have the hoarder instincts which sometimes surprises people, if I'm throwing things out I have to be in the right mood to do it. I can't just think oh I shall sort out the cupboard on Tuesday because that's when I have time.

I think the intrusive thoughts are the worse part about it, the more I try not to think about it, the more I think about it. I get scared for example walking by a river in case I get the urge to push someone in, even though I wouldn't I still worry that the thought is there.

Can I ask if anyone is on any medication and would mine telling me what it is and if it helped. More for the anxiety side of things as that's what's really gets me down.

I have thought about it for a while but was worried what other people would think which I know is not a reason not to take anything, but it's another of my anxieties what others think of me. I've had some cbt which helped a bit, but I feel I would at least like to try medication. If I had another medical condition I wouldn't think twice about taking it, so I shouldn't be reluctant really.

I suppose I thought that OCD is on a spectrum similar to Autism where many people fit somewhere along the spectrum. I loved the programme with John (can't remember his surname but regular panelist on 8 out of 10 cats) "A little bit OCD", I wouldn't say that I had OCD but I do weird things, mainly around balancing and symmetry, so if I walk through a door and knock my elbow I absolutley have to walk back through the door and bang the other one, but if I don't get the force of the "bang" right I'm still not balanced and have to walk through again another twice to get it right. Or i have to turn the tap on with one hand and then off with the other, but then turn it on again with the one I turned it off with the first time and vice versa.

My DH is like you littlemisssunny. He's such a hoarder! I wish he had a bit of the cleanliness side. He's very organized, everything has a place and have to be packed a certain way, but he CANNOT throw things out. I have to go through his stuff secretly and toss it. (I have thrown away 15 year old batteries that he 'might not be able to find in the stores again') And if he finds out the shit hits the fan. And his reasons for keeping things are, for lack of a better word, silly (to anyone but him).

He's taking Cipralex, but I think he might need a change. It did work wonders for awhile, as right after we married I was ready to kick him to the curb (he was convinced I was lying (he's very anxious about lies) and would ask the same repetitive questions and go over the same points again and again, no matter what I said). The Cipralex cuts out a lot of the anxiety, and I noticed a marked improvement in his rituals, he didn't count as much, was ok with me throwing away a few things.

He even told me that he stopped saying a particular prayer in his head multiple times a day (believed that if he didn't say it x many times something bad would happen to his Mother).

I've been told Zoloft is also very good.

I have had a mild version of it since childhood. I used to have to step on every different floor surface 8 times, or a multiple of 8. I hated getting "tangled" in my route, for example, if I went around a bollard, I would have to go the same route coming back or I would get "tangled". These days, I have to say little mantras when I say goodnight to the DC - under my breath though! I am naturally very anxious, also very organised and tidy. If I can clean and tidy a room I find it so much easier to be in it and to be productive.

However living with my messy DP, annoying as it can be, actually helps me chill out to a degree - if it wasn't for him pulling me in the opposite direction I would be able to get more and more obsessed. I also try to remember that I make the rules - I create the mantras, I decide what I "have" to do. If anything seems to be getting out of hand, I "rewrite" it to make it simple, or introduce new rules that let me off - for example I don't have to do something every day, I must take two days a week off, and so on. That is very effective because you feel in control and can make your own life easier. It's better than trying to get rid of it altogether because I don't think I can, it's so deeply ingrained.

I have heard of people who have to spend hours and hours on their rituals every day and that would be horrendous - I have so little time as it is.

I do the symmetry thing too, I must look a right numpty going back just to bang into something . DD is incredibly messy, I think it makes her feel secure to have her room like an absolute tip, she insists she knows where everything is.
As I said DH is on prozac, (fluxetine?) and it has definitely helped him.