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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you have achieved more this weekend?

45 replies

RillaBlythe · 03/09/2012 08:38

Settle a argument debate. We gt back from holiday on Friday at 10pm. DP went to London for a 30th on Sat leaving me with two kids, 4 & 11m. The baby wakes 3/4 times a night.

While he was away, I put away 3 loads of laundry, put on & hung out 2 more loads. I unpacked & put away the bags from holiday. Took DD to get a few bits & pieces of school uniform outstanding. Went to the supermarket for food. Swept the floor a million times. Took a bag of crap to the charity shop. Cooked a roast including a crumble for pud. Sewed on name labels.

You can guess our respective positions can't you.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 03/09/2012 08:40

what is the argument though?

lubeybooby · 03/09/2012 08:40

You are actually superwoman in my book.

I did barely anything apart from load the dishwasher and cook dinner a couple of times! and i only have one teen not littlies...

grobagsforever · 03/09/2012 08:41

No. You did a huge amount on very little sleep. How DARE he question what you've done while he was off enjoying himself? Is he normally such a wanker?

Original poster
RillaBlythe · 03/09/2012 08:41

I should have done more. Eg weeding the garden, de cluttering the loving room in advance of painting, cleaned the bathroom, tidied the kitchen shelves...

OP posts:
MrsMiniversCharlady · 03/09/2012 08:41

Someone who has buggered off to London for a jolly just after getting home from holiday has no business telling the other person they haven't achieved enough. Anyone who did this to me would get a right ear-bashing and wouldn't be doing it again Grin

knackeredmother · 03/09/2012 08:42

I wouldn't get that done in a week!

TeWiDoesTheHulaInHawaii · 03/09/2012 08:42

No. If I had done that much I would have thought I'd done pretty well.

crazygracieuk · 03/09/2012 08:42

That's an impressive list but is your dh annoyed because he thought that there was something else more urgent that should have been done?

MrsMiniversCharlady · 03/09/2012 08:43

the loving room?! There wouldn't be one of those in my house if I was spoken to like that Grin

squeakytoy · 03/09/2012 08:44

If he is saying you should have done more, tell him to go fuck himself.. would be my response to him!

And find somewhere to go next weekend, and leave him to see how much he can achieve...

OrangeFireandGoldashes · 03/09/2012 08:44

I'm guessing he thinks you "haven't done much" while he's been away?

I'd be lucky to get that much done without small children - if DH went away for the weekend I'd be indulging one of my own hobbies or generally lazing around interspersed with the occasional dog walk.

Unless you'd promised to redecorate the house or similar while he was away enjoying himself and then didn't, YANBU. Assuming that's what the argument debate is about.

OHforDUCKScake · 03/09/2012 08:45

If my partner suggested I didnt do enough Id tear him a new arse hole and he'd be out the door. I have children of similar ages to yours, I know how it is and what you have to sort out when you come back from hols.

How utterly disrespectful of him to suggest you havent done enough.

coldcupoftea · 03/09/2012 08:45

I went away for the weekend a couple of weeks ago on my own- when I got back I was just happy everyone was fed, watered and seemed reasonably happy and I was very grateful to DH for letting me go off on a jolly on my own! No way would I have come back and criticised anything he had done when he was alone with 2 kids.

Original poster
RillaBlythe · 03/09/2012 08:45

No Dp is annoyed because there are always a million things that should be done (we bought a house needing lots of work about 3 weeks before the baby was born) & the house is never a show home, & he thinks he would achieve more than me if he was at home more.

To be fair to him he is stressed about going back to work & always takes work stress out on me about the house being a 'shit hole'. Which it's not.

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 03/09/2012 08:51

Let him go for it then!

You bugger off for the weekend, leaving him with the DC

Let him see how much he gets done.

lubeybooby · 03/09/2012 08:52

and ban him from getting his mother in to help (have seen things like that happen on other threads!)

TeWiDoesTheHulaInHawaii · 03/09/2012 08:52

Even if it WAS a shithole, the correct response would not be to have a go at you, it would be to come home and get on with cleaning himself.

MrsHelsBels74 · 03/09/2012 08:53

I wouldn't have achieved half of that.

Next time leave him at home with the children (having got up at night) & see how much he achieves.

Original poster
RillaBlythe · 03/09/2012 08:53

I asked him the other day about going to see my friend for the weekend (she is having chemo) - he reckons I should take the kids with me.

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 03/09/2012 08:57

Just go then, go and see your friend. And say that in light of his recent allegations, you will be leaving the kids with him and expect a spotless house and furthermore... perfectly looked after children upon your return

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 03/09/2012 08:57

He can fuck off.

Especially about you going to see your friend.

Original poster
RillaBlythe · 03/09/2012 08:59

Ooh I feel much better now. Thank you. Smile

OP posts:
TeWiDoesTheHulaInHawaii · 03/09/2012 08:59

What LadyC said.

TheDoctrineOfEnnis · 03/09/2012 09:05

Rilla, please go and see your friend on your own. Not to prove a point, though that's a secondary benefit, but because it's the right thing to do.

choceyes · 03/09/2012 09:11

he is being completely unreasonable ofcourse. I have a 2yrs old and nearly 4yr old and if I was on my own for a weekend, I would just about get a load of washing done and some ironing in the evening after they had gone to bed (whilst catching up on Iplayer), and maybe start the unpacking at least to wash the dirty clothes, but during the day I'd be off out and about with the kids doing stuff with them, not stuck at home doing housework.....no thanks!