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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go to Dads birthday BBQ?

46 replies

Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 11:39

Was Dads birthday yesterday so went round for a few hours (he's not local). Whilst there was asked what my plans for tomorrow are.. Replied nothing just washing and the normal stuff. Dad said oh good you can come here for my birthday BBQ and bring your older brother over (both us live at home with Mum). After speaking to brother I have learnt that he was asked over a week ago. The first I heard was yesterday although saw Dad last weekend.

AIBU to not go? Am pissed off with the fact im expected to give brother a lift at my expense of petrol & that I was only told yesterday.

Sorry for long post

OP posts:
JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 02/09/2012 11:41

Do you think perhaps your brother forgot to tell you?

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 11:42

Me & him hardly talk I hate the drug addict so Dad & stepmum know not to get him to tell me.

OP posts:
Mrsjay · 02/09/2012 11:44

you could not go and upset your dad or go and just think it was an oversight and your dad didn't mean to hurt your feelings, If i could I would probably try and go

JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 02/09/2012 11:45

Well, if you don't talk, why would you want him in the car?

Unless you and your father have unresolved issues, no reason not to go. Everyone assumes things from time to time - including word-of-mouth invitations

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 11:46

I don't think it was an oversight as an quite frequently always left out with that side of family.

Also pissed off that brothers OH has been invited and mine hasnt

OP posts:
Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 11:47

Jumping - I don't want him in my car & feel I'm being used just to get him there

OP posts:
JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 02/09/2012 11:48

You seem very upset. Don't go if you always feel an after thought. If you do go it will only escalate into a full blown row.

Mrsjay · 02/09/2012 11:49

Oh if it happens quite a lot Im sorry it must be upsetting don't go I agree with jumping if you feel like you are being used for a taxi then stay home,

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 11:49

Am quite upset about it.

If I don't go it will turn into an argument.

Am I being unreasonable to ask my brother to contribute to petrol?

OP posts:
Mrsjay · 02/09/2012 11:50

no of course not tell him you need some petrol money

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 11:51

I've told him by text & got this reply
'haha fuck off noo your going anyway so me & his OH will be having a lift free of charge'

OP posts:
JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 02/09/2012 11:51

Don't go. Don't take your brother.

Feign illness/friend related emergency and go elsewhere.

Either that or pray for rain and it'll be called off.

If you don't want to go, and you don;t want your brother in the car, then don't go and don't take him

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 11:52

I would kind of like to go to see my cousin & her baby as they have come u from Cornwall for it

OP posts:
JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 02/09/2012 11:53

'haha fuck off noo your going anyway so me & his OH will be having a lift free of charge'

Where do you live? would you like to come here for Sunday Lunch instead. Grin

Let him walk/get a bus/do the worm. I wouldnt be taking him anywhere.

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 11:53

Sorry iPod posted too early.

The fact they have come up from Cornwall seems that it has been planned for a while

OP posts:
Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 11:54

Thanks Jumping probs be a hell of a lot nicer.

My reply to his text was
'ok I love your thinking go try it in the bus or something and see how that works'

OP posts:
JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 02/09/2012 11:55

If you really want to go and see your cousin, leave now, go and have lunch somewhere nice - and turn your phone off - arrive at your Dads.

StuntGirl · 02/09/2012 11:57

Cheeky gets. If you don't want to go don't go, have a lovely relaxed day at home instead (even if you're just doing the washing!)

HappyCamel · 02/09/2012 12:07

Go if you want but don't give your brother a lift after a text like that. If you're asked why, show whoever asked the text and say,"I'm not rewarding that attitude".

bogeyface · 02/09/2012 12:08

Tell them all to bugger off!

Original poster
Dordeydoo · 02/09/2012 12:12

Last time I didn't give him a lift it caused a huge argument,

OP posts:
pigletmania · 02/09/2012 12:14

Blimy the whole world and his wife knew accept you, and that you are being used. Don't go, it will just make you angrier. Cheeky feckers

bogeyface · 02/09/2012 12:15

Well its up to you of course, but it does sound like you are only being used as a taxi service, so I wouldnt go. And your excuse is that you cant afford the petrol as your brother isnt contributing!

CSIJanner · 02/09/2012 12:18

Do not give him a lift after that text. It's not like he even asked you - he's ignoring the rudeness and he got your dad to ask for him. From the sounds of things, you hardly talk. Are you arsed about going to the BBQ - you saw your dad yesterday. is it that important? The worse feeling is the fact you've been invited almost like an after thought. There might be an argument but how will you feel about yourself if you give in and take the penny pinching rude boy.

Oh - and if you do go, take your OH. You come as a pair. Just like your brother and his OH.

Guiltypleasures001 · 02/09/2012 12:18

Dord, indeed there should be a huge argument and this time I might suggest you start it hun, your being shat on from a great height, its about time someone was told about it. Your feelings of guilt are misplaced but understandable, I would arrange to meet up with the cousin and baby somewhere else for a quick catch up, and ignore the others.